"Alright, gorgeous?" Neil asked quietly, greeting Saoirse as he waited patiently for her outside their office building at the end of the day. Saoirse nodded. "How was your day?" he asked as she stopped in front of him fumbling with her car keys and purse.
"Ahhhh...," Saoirse shrugged, exhaling forcefully. "but that's it over and it's a little treat to have you waiting on me." she smiled. "Nice to have you staying at mine on a school night too." she looked up at him coyly. "How was your day?" she asked.
"Good but I'm all over the place today." Neil said. "Back to usual hours tomorrow though." he said with an apologetic smile. "At least I won't have as long a commute in the morning." he said. As much as Neil was reluctant to admit it, he liked staying at Saoirse's flat. Though more often than not Saoirse stayed at his. Saoirse's was a bit more spacious than his own, it was more homely with colourful soft furnishings and lots of quirky knick-knacks, photos and pictures on the walls and it was only a 20 minute drive from work.
"When we get home, can I have a cuddle?" Saoirse asked quietly as they walked side by side along the paved pathway.
Neil looked at her and smiled. "Hmmm it'll cost you." he said playfully, putting his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug and kissing the top of her head as they walked.
"Neil!" Saoirse hissed, her eyes darting around cautiously at the mass exodus from the office.
"Come on, it's alright." he said reassuringly, grasping her hand and entwining their fingers. "What's up?" he asked, holding her hand and walking slowly towards the car park.
"I haven't been sleeping properly and when I do I'm having weird nightmares about making mistakes at work." she said, bowing her head. "Sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed, I'm not sure why. I let things that normally don't faze me just get the better of me." she said, glancing at him briefly and then bowing her head. "Sorry... I'm really embarrassed."
He squeezed her hand and looked at her. "Awh Saoirse, don't be embarrassed. You work hard, I know you do, and you care." he said softly as they reached Saoirse's car.
"Anyway, I've made bolognese in the crock-pot for dinner," Saoirse said, changing the subject to stave off tears. "Just have to boil the pasta and grate some cheese." she said, unlocking the car.
Saoirse drove them home to her flat listening to a random Spotify playlist, she sang quietly along to some songs, they chatted and Neil periodically stroked her hand and thigh.
Back at Saoirse's flat they bickered playfully in the kitchen. "Let me do that, just chill out." Neil said, as Saoirse weighed out the pasta.
"No! You always cook when I'm at yours!" she replied, placing her hand on his chest.
"Not always, Saoirse," Neil said, giving her a look.
"Neil, please. It's only spaghetti bolognese!" she pleaded. "You're going to annoy me in a minute."
"Ok, Ok, I'll set the table then I'll be on the sofa." he said, smiling as he held his hands up. She kissed him and turned back to the stove. Once the pasta was boiling, Saoirse stood against the door frame and watched Neil watching TV. He turned and tilted his head, inviting her to share her thoughts. She smiled and looked down shyly. "What's wrong?" he asked with a light chuckle. Saoirse shrugged. "What's got you so preoccupied?" he asked in his soothing voice. Saoirse shrugged again. "Come here you!" he said softly. Saoirse approached the sofa and Neil held out his arms, grasped her and pulled her down onto the sofa into his arms.
"I'm not really sure, it's been working on me for a few weeks. I can't put my finger on it but it's this mixture of sadness and stress that makes me this needy, emotional mess." she said, picking at her nails and trying not to let her voice break as she spoke. "Sorry..."
"You're not a needy, emotional mess! You're just tearful 'cos you're tired." Neil said with a quiet laugh, stroking her hair out of her face. "But you don't need to get so worked up all the time!" he said, exasperated. "Do what you can and when you leave work just let it go until the next day." he said, as if providing the obvious solution. "That's all, just let it go."
Saoirse pursed her lips at being patronised. "I can't help it, that's the way I'm made and I'm not apologising for that!" she protested. "Are you telling me you don't think about work when you've left for the day? What about when you're on-call?" she asked, gruffly.
"That's different, I..." Neil started.
"How do you keep it all in here?" she interrupted, grasping his temples.