CHAPTER 1
Jasper K Collins fired Luke Coleman indirectly. Jasper told his seven department heads at the end of the weekly executive meeting. "Now return to your offices, call one person of your choice in and fire him or her, saying to those lazy jerks times are tough and that Mr Collins ordered that seven people, one from each department must be fired."
The unlucky guy in pre-production department was Luke Coleman.
His manager said, "I'm sorry Luke, but you are fired. Pick up your termination payment from HR on the way out."
"Why me Jack?"
"I don't have to give a reason beyond you are the unfortunate victim of company downsizing. Now fuck off Asshole. I've never liked you because you make your job look too easy."
Luke picked up his termination payments, joining a line of four other unfortunates and two more lined up behind Luke.
When the fired crew trooped outside most drove off, the females and one of the guys crying and that made broad-shouldered Luke sighed. This certainly was a black day for them and especially that guy already suffering because Eva (real name Evan) was unlucky enough to display feminine characteristics including raw emotion.
He began crossing the road to the phone box when he was hit by a car.
The driver applied the Ferrari's brakes hard and Luke leaned into the path of the car and was scooped up and he slid over the hood to bash against the windscreen, hurting his right elbow just as the car stopped with the tires screeching.
The red and purpled faced driver, dressed in an expensive suit and with his shirt open and tie undone blustered, "You were jaywalking. If my paintwork is scratched I'll have you jailed."
Sliding back down, careful not to damage the paintwork with buttons or his belt buckle, Luke pulled out his phone and checked that it was working.
"Who are you calling?" the nosey driver slurred.
"The cops; you're drunk."
The change in the driver's attitude was remarkable.
"Here buddy, take all the cash I've got."
Luke, still rubbing his elbow and feeling some parts of him would be bruised, thought was it worth a few bucks for letting the guy off. Well yes. He grabbed the money and the driver eased into his car and accelerated off, tires smoking, and the vehicle slewed and hit a thick solid wood street light pole and the back of the car just behind the driver's seat crumpled.
Rubberneckers slowed traffic and Luke jumped into a cab to get out of there. They passed the car and it looked expensively damaged. The unhurt driver of the Ferrari stared at the damage picking his nose.
Luke left the cab on the fringe of Downtown, paid the driver and went to a street pay phone after checking his own phone for the number, and made the call. Using a gruff tone he said, "Mrs Jack Fryer?"
"Yes," said Luke's boss's wife who worked from home.
"I want you to know that your husband is fucking my wife Samantha and she's confessed your sneaky asshole of a husband has been at her for months. Our kids are devastated."
Luke then cut the call, grinning and thinking Jack would arrive home for his dinner only to have his ass kicked and then possibly be head-butted and his bawling wife, plotting immediate divorce, would the scream, "Who the hell is Samantha?"
After coffee and a snack and counting the money the driver had given him, it came to $780, Luke had the fleeting thought he could throw himself in front of cars and make a great living. He went to another public phone two miles away and this time used an
Rather effeminate voice.
"Joyce Collins speaking," the woman answering the call said, smothering a yawn.
"Oh Mrs Collins, I'm sorry, I expected Jasper to answer the phone if I called at this time. Oh sorry, it's not Saturday is it? Has he told you about me?"
"About you, how would I know when I don't even know who's calling?"
"Oh I'm Bubba Jones, an old college pal. Jasper and I weren't particularly successful at hitting on the girls at college and, well, I guess you know the outcome of that and you probably know he has a great butt. We've got together a couple of times earlier this year to renew our former intimacy and we both agreed it was the best sex we've had for a long time. He suggested we must get together more often to screw and of course I agreed totally and came up with the idea of having a threesome with you..."
Mrs Collins let out a gut-wrenching cry and cut the call.
Luke hoped she would only rant at her husband rather than grab the meat tenderizer to hammer Jasper's balls flat. It was being rather optimistic to expect those two malicious calls would result in two divorces but who knows? Those jerks had no right to fire Luke Coleman on a whim.
Well what now? It had all happened so quickly that Luke had no idea. He'd been the company's designer of new products and product developer. Workers with his talent were scarce and he'd believed his job was secured even through the next Great Flood or lesser world catastrophes.
He went home and told his mom and she hugged him to her skinny frame and said she and his father (a police sergeant) would support him until he found work.
"On one condition Luke and that is you must stop having sex with your sister."
Huh?
Mae was waiting for his reply and so the guiltless Luke hung his head and murmured, "Okay mom, I won't continue doing it."
"Thank you. I was worried about you doing that to Jennifer because my brother used to bang me and I feared we could be breeding in a family tradition."
Luke had no idea why his mom would think he was getting a leg over Jennifer who was even thinner than his mom, skinny arms and legs and nipples without breast development; it would be like banging a skeleton. Anyway guys banged their moms, not their sisters right? God so Uncle Harry used to bang his sister, Luke's mom? Uncle Harry was an animal.
Three days later after reading the newspaper his dad had left messed up on the sofa, Luke left for a much larger city 150 miles away. The newspaper reported that the number of people nationally being thrown out of work as the result of the world economic downturn was reaching distressing levels.
Yeah right, thought Luke. He was still distressed at being fired but knew sitting around wouldn't get him replacement employment.
He sighed heavily when reading the statistics for manufacturing and top of the list of people in industries being laid off were production designers.
Fucking high school career advisers had 'warmly recommended' he seek a design degree because he'd been very creative since a young kid at making his own model cars, boats, trucks and airplanes. He gained a Bachelor of Design and Visual Arts degree and since then had designed household and patio utility furniture and three ultra-modern barstools that had sent the company's sales soaring and the company had had filed for the patent on the design of one of the stools.
Luke left home hoping to get lucky and design something more essential to humanity than utility furniture. The 28-year-old still had the secret desire to design the world's best piece of bedroom furniture that couples would rave about because it was suitable for comfortable copulation in twenty or more positions. But would his mom be proud of that achievement? He sighed and boarded a bus, sitting next to a sweaty fat guy who obviously enjoyed garlic.
The guy left the bus at the first stop about a half-hour into the journey and his seat was taken by a chatty woman who had the annoying habit of continually stroking his arm. That well-time stroking gave Luke an erection he maintained until she fell asleep when he was on the verge of exploding. That was an entirely new experience because until then Luke had always avoided embarrassing himself by developing an erection in any public place apart from the female toilet at the office when invited in by some attractive female to satisfy her needs.
On this occasion Luke was very lucky. The woman slept all the way until the journey ended at the bus station at Sharrock City.
As they disembarked, the woman asked, "Would you like to come home with me?"
"No thank you Mrs Field," Luke lied hastily. "My mother will be waiting for me."
He grabbed his bag and disappeared into the crowd, relieved to have escaped her clutches. But he didn't go too far, aware that cheaper rooming houses tended to be near bus and rail stations. Luke booked into Mrs O'Reilly's Home for Young Gents, hoping 'young gents' didn't mean homosexuals. His goal was to find suitable work quickly and then upgrade his living accommodation.
Victoria, the consultant at the job placement agency where Luke had registered, described his chances of returning to industrial design work at the moment as being highly unlikely. She invited him back next afternoon and in the meantime would review his academic and work record and see what she could find that might interest him.
Luke dug his hands in the pockets of his brown jacket and began walking off and thinking the lazy woman would flick through her screen when he arrived next afternoon and was waiting to be called to her office, and she would pull up a couple of listings such as truck driver and high school janitor.
"Oh Mr Collins... Luke... please come back to the office.
Luke turned and saw the overweight but pleasant bespectacled face of Victoria just outside the entrance to the ground level agency waving.
Huh, had she suddenly remembered the bonus attached to filling the vacancy of high school janitor?
Luke went to her, his face impassive.
"I might have something for you."
He thought no thanks Victoria, you're wearing a wedding ring.
In her office she sat beside him and pulled the monitor screen around to face them.
"A Mrs Sandra Holmes requires a driver for six weeks, living on site and eating with her. The offer is a thousand dollars a week and the driver may have to work some hours every day and of course be on standby 24/7 unless making special arrangements. No other fringe benefits are offered and the driver would be expected to keep both vehicles clean and tidy and in good running order."
"This is an offer that interests me. What does Mrs Holmes do?"
"She's runs a furniture business for her father who has a number of companies."
Victoria brought up a photo of Mrs Holmes' home.
"Mrs Holmes' is a widow. He husband who was an attorney was killed in a small aircraft crash last year. She still lives in the same home at Ashleigh Heights."
It was a single level quality home, obviously architect-designed. Luke thought he could be comfortable there, particularly if he had the run of the property. But what was Mrs Holmes like?
"What is Mrs Holmes like?"
"Well apply for the position and you possibly will find out. Like many of our clients seeing personnel, this listing was conducted via emails. We did receive a photo of Mrs Holmes as part of ID security but that material is confidential to the agency."
"Aw come on Victoria. Show it to me unless you think I'm a stalker or womanizer."
"My impression of you is nothing like that," Victoria said.
She hesitated and Luke looked at her and said please.
Mrs Holmes looked attractive and perhaps no more than thirty-four.
"Well?"
"She looks okay," said Luke casually, thinking no way should he say she looked gorgeous. "At least she looks trustworthy. Yeah I should take a look at the setup."
"You mean an interview at her home?"
"Yes."
"She says here she would interview any candidates at her office and she's interviewed four applicants."
"Please advise her that I wished to see where I would sleep and hang out. Take my photo with your phone camera now and perhaps she might decide I'm trustworthy."
"She's bound to think that," Victoria smiled. "You are a nice looking young man and do possess charm."
Luke had finished eating lunch in a café and was waiting for another coffee when his phone went.
