Love In The Garden

I've always loved this time of year, spring, the season of rebirth. I've been eager to get my hands back into the soil and watch everything come alive all around me. My garden has been my joy, my escape and my tranquility. It has been the answer: whether I was stressed, needed to seek solutions, or ground myself, or just yearned for beauty to appreciate. Relationships have been challenging for me, but I've always had my garden, and it never let me down.

This year, I chose to use a different technique to propagate some bushes, as I haven't had much luck with this variety by rooting cuttings. I decided to air layer some branches, so I could get roots growing without ending up with dried up twigs. To do so, I needed to go to the nursery to get some sphagnum moss. I've enjoyed being as self-sufficient as possible, but even with producing my own electricity and pumping my own water, I'd never be able to find sphagnum moss on my property. Though the beauty of my property was begging to be enjoyed, it was time to head to the nursery.

At the nursery I found the moss quickly, and looked forward to returning home. While waiting in line to check out, I glanced at the community bulletin board. It was a nice service of this nursery, allowing people to post notices of garden meetings, plants to share and help wanted. I noticed a 3 X 5 card that drew my attention:

5th grade teacher seeking qualified person to demonstrate

propagation techniques during upcoming botany unit.

Please contact Jayne Nelson at Oak Grove Elementary School.

555-555-2145

If there was one thing I loved more than my garden, it was sharing knowledge with individuals who were eager to learn. I removed the card and placed it in my pocket. Since it was Saturday, and I figured a 5th grade teacher wouldn't be at school, I decided to go home and work on my air layering.

Monday morning, I called the elementary school and asked to leave a message. On her voice mail, I left the following message: "Hi Ms Nelson. My name is Jim Hayworth. I noticed your request at the local nursery and would love to help out. I have had many years of propagation experience and love to share with people who want to learn. I am available any Monday, Wednesday or Friday morning. You can reach me at 555-555-4908. I look forward to meeting your class."

At noon, my phone rang. "Hello, Mr. Hayworth, this is Jayne Nelson from Oak Grove Elementary," came the voice at the other end.

"Just call me Jim."

"I was so happy to hear from you, Mr., I mean Jim. I posted that notice six weeks ago and was afraid no one was going to respond. I need to start the botany unit next week. I've never done any significant propagating, and didn't want my students to miss out on the experience."

"How would it be if I stop by during your lunch break on Wednesday, so you can show me your lesson plan and facilities? That way, I'll know what you already have and what I'll need to bring."

"That would be perfect. We take our lunch break at 11:45am. Just check in at the administration office first, and they will direct you to my room, #B-12. I'll clear your arrival with the principal. Thank you for being so generous."

"No problem, it sounds like fun. I look forward to Wednesday."

Having always been a stickler for punctuality, I was waiting at the classroom door when the children started to file out. After the flow of students ended, I walked into the classroom. I noticed there were a few stragglers, and the teacher was helping one student with a math problem. I stood there waiting, and a little girl slowly walked by, looking up at me as if amazed to see another adult in the classroom. I smiled at her and said "Hi." She shyly looked away and scurried out of the classroom. After the last student departed, the teacher approached me.

"You must be Jim; I'm Jayne," she said as she offered me her hand.

I knew she was rushed for time, so we went right into her lesson plan. After describing what she wanted to do, she offered to show me the remnants of the school garden. Unfortunately, due to budget cutbacks, the garden was no longer being maintained. We walked over to the garden, which was just around the corner from her classroom. There were four raised bed gardens, overgrown with weeds, and 3 fruit trees: an apple, a peach and a plum. New leaves and blossoms were already budding out on the trees.

"Jayne, this is a nice setup. How have the budget cutbacks affected your garden?"

"We no longer have any money for plants and seeds, and the gardener's hours have been cut, so he can no longer care for the area."

"I can provide seeds and plants from my garden. Could we get your students to volunteer to care for the plants?"

"This is more than I ever imagined. Jim, you are very generous. I'm sure my students will jump at the opportunity to be part of this garden's rebirth. Thank you very much. I'd love to spend more time with you, but our lunch periods are very short, and I've got to get back to my students. Would you be able to start this Monday at 9am?"

"That would be perfect. I'll scrape together a few odds and ends and look forward to helping out. If you can get some students to clear the weeds out of one of these raised beds, it will save us some time on Monday."

"I'm sure that won't be a problem. I look forward to Monday."

"I'll see you then."

"Bye."

* * * *

After class, Susie, the shy girl, lingered after the other students had left. She came up to me and asked, "Miss Nelson, is that your boyfriend? He's very nice..." Leaning close to my ear, she whispered, "and he's cute, too."

I must have blushed as I told her, "No, he is just a nice man who has volunteered to help us learn about plants for our botany unit starting on Monday."

"Well, at least he is coming back. I like him."

It had been a busy day, and I hadn't had time to think, but Susie sparked my thought process, and I realized I liked him, too... and he was cute. I mentioned to Susie that he asked me to see if any of the students were willing to pull the weeds out of one of the raised beds, so we could get started with planting on Monday.

"Can I help? Please? Please?"

"Sure," I said. "Let's ask in class tomorrow and see if anyone wants to give you a hand."

The next day, I realized I wouldn't have difficulty finding volunteers, as all the hands raised at once. With all those helpers, we were able to clear the weeds during lunch that day. Everyone kept talking about what they wanted to grow in the garden. I helped them make a list and promised to pass it along to Mr. Hayworth.

Following up on my commitment, I called Jim on Saturday morning and shared the list with him. He assured me he would bring what he had and get the rest in the near future. He was so easy to talk with. Time flew by. Finally, he told me he had a meeting he had to go to, and I apologized for taking up so much of his morning (I just realized we had been talking for 2 ½ hours).

"Nothing to apologize for, I enjoyed every minute," he said. "I look forward to Monday morning, and more to come."

After hanging up, I realized I felt very relaxed, and yet unusually invigorated. His words kept popping into my mind, along with his very soothing voice. I then thought about how the conversation ended. "And more to come." Was my mind playing tricks? Was I reading into these words? After all, he did offer to continue working with my students. That must be what he meant. But, what if???? I started to fantasize. No, I couldn't go there. I remembered what that had led to in the past. I'd better keep this very professional. After all, I wouldn't want to lose what looked to be a very good resource.

* * * *

Monday morning arrived. I showed up at the classroom with several boxes of materials, supplies and tools and was immediately introduced to the class.

"Class, this is Mr. Hayworth. He will be helping us to learn about how to grow plants in ways you may have never even thought of."

"Just call me Jim. I'm just one of you. I love plants and just want to share my love of plants with you. Let's go out to your garden and get started."

Upon arriving at the garden, I complimented the class on how well they removed the weeds and prepared the soil. I pointed out that we'd just get started today and would continue to plant throughout the year. I pointed out that different plants needed to be planted at different times of the year; some because they needed a particular growing season, and some because we wanted multiple crops of the same foods or ornamentals.

I took the students over to the trees and asked them if anyone knew what types of trees they were. Everyone responded with quizzical looks on their faces. I identified the apple, peach and plum trees. Walking over to the apple tree, I asked, "Who would like to eat the pears we grow on this tree?"

The kids started laughing. "Pears don't grow on apple trees. That's silly."

"Then who would like to be silly with me and enjoy the pears we grow on this tree?" Most of the kids just laughed again, but Susie walked up and said, "I believe you Jim. I'll enjoy eating the pears we grow on that tree." The other kids stopped laughing. Maybe I was serious, they thought.

At that point, I looked in my box and pulled out a bag. In the bag was a stick. I showed the kids the stick and asked them what it was. "A stick," they all shouted. "Actually," I said, "this is called scion wood. It is a cutting from a Bosc pear tree. Today, I'm going to show you how to attach this cutting from a pear tree onto this apple tree. In time, we will actually be able to harvest pears from this apple tree."

A boy called out, "I like oranges. Can I grow oranges on this tree, also?"

"No," I said. "To graft different varieties onto one tree, they must all be in the same family, and though apples and pears are in the same family, oranges are in the citrus family. You can grow oranges and lemons and grapefruit on the same tree, though."

I showed them how to graft the scion onto the apple tree, explaining that the scion had to be cut when it was dormant and kept refrigerated until the sap started flowing in the tree and new growth was coming out. I showed them that this was the ideal time to graft onto their trees. When I finished the graft, I showed them how to stretch and wrap Parafilm over the new graft, to retain the scion's moisture. I explained that Parafilm can be expensive, but I actually got mine for free. I went to the local blood bank and donated some blood. Since they used Parafilm and were willing to share, we now had some to use on the grafts. "Ewwww," shrieked the kids. I pointed out that we all needed to do our part in sharing what we have to offer. I let them know my donating blood could help save the life of one of their friends, if that friend was in need of blood. I wanted them to learn the value of sharing. I didn't want them to feel it was acceptable to hoard all of the crops for themselves.

I asked them if they'd like to use the crops to make a meal that could be enjoyed by the other faculty and students in the school. They seemed to like that idea. "What else could we do with our extra crops?" I asked.

One girl asked, "Could we offer them to some of the families that may not be able to afford fresh vegetables and fruit?"

"That sounds like a great idea," I responded.

"Let me show you one more thing before we run out of time today. Let's plant this tomato plant." I proceeded to cut all the branches off of the plant, leaving only the top few leaves on the plant. There were more shrieks and giggles from the kids. They thought this was strange. Why would I ruin a perfectly good tomato plant like that? I then dug a trench, laid the plant down on its side, bent the top up above surface level and then filled in the trench with soil. I pointed out that roots on tomatoes grow outward, not downward, and every spot where I removed a branch would grow more roots, allowing for a greater root structure to support the tomato plant. I then took all the cuttings from the tomato plant, dipped them in rooting hormone and planted them in little pots, offering them to anyone who wanted to grow tomatoes at his or her home.

Our first day went great. The kids were enthusiastic, and I loved watching their smiles, along with the smile on their teacher's face. As we finished up and the kids returned to class, Jayne told me I was giving much more than she had expected and she wanted to repay me. I explained I only did what I enjoyed doing, so that was payment enough. She said she'd like to at least treat me to a dinner. I told her I knew teachers didn't get paid much, so I couldn't let her do that. She suggested a picnic on Saturday, so I accepted.

When I returned on Wednesday for the next installment, the kids were very excited to see me. They were amazed at how much they were learning and how much fun it was to learn. One boy asked me, "Do you do gardening as a job?"

"No," I responded. "Everyone can enjoy gardening. It is just my hobby, and I love sharing my hobby with anyone who would enjoy it as I do."

"What do you do for a living?" the boy asked.

"I actually teach sociology at the state college," I responded.

As we walked back to the classroom, Jayne came up to me and said, "I feel a bit embarrassed, having introduced you as Mr. Hayworth. I assume it is actually Dr. Hayworth."

"Well, yes, but I'm still just Jim."

* * * *

Saturday came, and I met Jayne at the local nature center. She had made a delicious lunch, which tasted as good as it looked. We spent the day hiking the trails and talking. We talked about many subjects and felt very comfortable together.

As the sun started to set, Jayne said, "I don't want this day to end. I am having a wonderful time."

"I, too, can't remember the last time I've enjoyed such comfortable and beautiful company," I replied.

Jayne blushed. She looked so cute when she blushed.

I walked her to her car and thanked her for the delicious meal and even more impressive companionship.

* * * *

We continued working in the school garden, and everything came in beautifully. I noticed Jayne looked at me more, and smiled at me more. I found myself looking at her more, also, but not wanting to ruin what we had with the students, I chose not to rock the boat and take any chances. Anyway, my luck in the area of relationships had never been much to write home about.

One day, Jayne said, "With all you've shown us here, I'd love to see your garden."

"It's not all that fancy. I mainly just experiment and see what happens."

"I'd love to help you work in your garden," she stated.

I hoped my mixed feelings weren't too obvious, but I agreed to let her help me in my garden this Saturday.

* * * *

The day in the garden proved to be much better than I had anticipated. I thought we would be silenced by awkwardness, yet communication flowed as we worked together. I knew we were both still very cautious, though we caught ourselves shooting furtive glances at each other. Later, I broke down and addressed the elephant in the room.

"Jayne, I sense something here. Actually, I sense much here. I have truly enjoyed all we have shared together, but I feel a need to discover the hidden truth. If it gets between us, and we find ourselves pulling apart, I will truly be sad, but I feel we are caught on a fence, unable to determine which direction to go. I must allow the vulnerability that can help us to see the most sensible direction for us."

I reached out my hand to her. She removed her glove and returned the offer. Upon removing my glove, I took her hand and led her to the shade of an old tree. We sat on a bed of leaves and leaned against the tree. I hoped she didn't feel me shaking as I held her hand. Her hand felt so soft and smooth. It was small and delicate, yet very strong, seeming to get lost in my larger hand. I took a deep breath, looked into her eyes and started to talk.

"Jayne, I sense both of us have been hurt in past relationships, so we are both very cautious. Healthy relationships are very beautiful, yet so hard to find. I see a blend of things from you and feel a blend of emotions within me. I am just now beginning to be able to identify those specifics. The key to any healthy relationship, including friendship, is open, honest communication. I have never lied to you, but I have withheld sensitive parts of my heart that have previously been deeply hurt. I don't want to withhold anything from you any more."

I looked into her eyes to gauge her receptiveness. Her eyes seemed to reveal a depth that wanted to be exposed. Her lips were soft, barely parted, hinting at a smile that revealed her desire along with her fear. I felt her hand tenderly yet firmly grasp mine. I saw she wanted to speak. Softly, she said, "Jim," but all that followed was silence. I saw a slight quiver in her lower lip as her head slowly nodded up and down. I placed my other hand on our hands, and she joined that hand with her other hand. The caution had to go. I could tell we both wanted full disclosure and investment.

"Jayne, let me share what has brought me to this place in my life. This past May, I turned 58. I've lived a full and enjoyable life, but have never truly connected with that special person I've wanted to share my life with. I was a late bloomer. Though I fantasized about girls, probably from the age of 12, I just studied and admired them from afar. I was too shy to reach out to any of them. Starting in my mid-teens, there were girls who showed me interest, though they were all on the pudgy side. I find it interesting that during my entire life, only pudgy females have ever initiated contact with me, though my fantasies were all about the slender, toned ones, like you. The slender ones may have responded respectfully to my subtle hints, but either couldn't read my signs or weren't interested, so there was no follow through. My first date was my high school senior prom, and that was just a study in awkwardness. I finally did start dating, yet seemed to find girls who had their own agenda, tolerating me while their immediate needs were being met, but distancing themselves when a better opportunity arrived."

"College was an eye-opener for me. I didn't realize how little I knew about myself. I had never questioned the path that had been laid out for me, and the college experience helped me realize how much more there was to life. I met a girl, who was very nice and comfortable to be with, but she knew who she was and where she was going in life, and I felt like a piece of clay with no form or direction. Though I felt a great desire for her, I had to pull myself away from her, fearful I would just give in to her life and never discover my true identity hidden within me."

"My first true love, who I actually pictured myself marrying, was with me during my military service. She couldn't deal with the physical distance, so ended up getting involved with another guy. This hit me very hard. I didn't understand what was happening. She was very guarded about sharing her feelings, and I felt lost in the unknown. This experience helped me discover the importance of communication."

I noticed Jayne was soaking in every word I shared. I didn't feel her flinch or withdraw. If anything, I felt her holding my hands more assuredly, yet very tenderly. I'm not sure if it was the interest in her eyes, the comfort of her lips or the reassuring touch of her hands, but something told me she was invested and I was safe in her presence.

I told her of my personal challenge, after being hurt so deeply, to take time to discover who I was and what type of woman would be right for me. "I did a lot of exploration and discovery. By the time I felt ready to settle down, I was no longer meeting eligible women. All the women I reached out to seemed to have their own agendas and were only focused on what was in it for them. Eventually, I gave up on my active search, as I didn't want to face more disappointment. I buried myself in my career, my volunteer work and my garden. Though I knew there was a void in my life, I was content... till now. Jayne, having you this close to me and sharing all we have shared, I find myself wanting to take the chance and discover if my fantasy of an equal, quality partner is something that could become reality."