You probably already guessed, but I'll tell you now anyway. These have all been for you, you know. You're my biggest fan, my most loving supporter, and my inspiration in so many ways. Thank you for being you, for making this so easy, and for being my 'Christian'.
Always and forever, M.
****
I wanna stand out in a crowd for you
A man among men
I wanna make your world better
Than it's ever been
****
The day had been overcast and I was feeling lethargic. Early in the evening, I wandered around the house in my pajamas and stopped in the kitchen, looking around. I put my hands on my hips and stared at the kettle on the stovetop. Did I feel like making dinner? A simple cup of tea? Not particularly. I huffed out a sigh and did a lap in the kitchen before moving on through the house.
Christian must have heard my aimless wandering because he stopped me outside the kitchen on my second pass. "What is it, angel?"
"I'm bored."
"Why are you bored? What do you want to do?" He paused and gave me his 'excited' look: wide eyes, and a goofy, broad grin. It never failed to make me laugh and this time was no exception.
"I
guess
we could fool around." I shrugged my shoulders and gave him a sideways glance.
His 'excited' face disappeared and he rolled his eyes. "Well, with that kind of enthusiasm, I don't see why not."
I laughed again as he pulled me into his arms and hugged me. I rested my cheek on his chest and listened to the steady thump of his heart for a few minutes.
"Are you sure you're all right, angel?"
I nodded and leaned back to look into his face. "I'm fine. Really. It's just the weather, I think."
"Rain always makes me smile. It reminds me of that day we spent in bed together. Remember?"
"How could I forget? How long ago was that? A month? Two?"
"Too long." Christian dropped a kiss on my lips. "We could have a repeat?"
I laughed and Christian squeezed me tighter, before bending to lift me into his arms. I held on as he carried me away from the kitchen to our bedroom. He dumped me on the bed and jumped up to cover my body with his before I could move. He kissed me and proceeded to tickle my sides, legs and knees. I shrieked and squirmed and tried to fight him off, but as always, he was too quick and too strong for me.
He relented after a short while and I lay there on my back, gasping for air. He turned on his side beside me, head propped on one upturned hand, a smile on his handsome face.
"It's not raining, you know." I glanced out the window.
"I know. Doesn't mean we can't spend some time in bed."
I sighed and rolled over to snuggle against his chest. He dropped his free hand to my hip and started to rub in slow, small circles. It relaxed me, just as his touch always did and I dozed off.
I don't know how long I was out but I came awake to the feel of Christian's warm breath against my bare shoulder. The strap of my tank top had slid down while I slept and Christian was taking advantage of the additional exposed skin.
"Mmm..." I lifted my face to his.
He smiled and dropped a kiss on my lips. I stared up at him and rubbed one eye. His smile widened and he captured my fingers in his hand. He kissed the tip of each finger and then the center of my palm. I shivered and moved closer, pressing my nose to his neck.
"How long did I sleep?"
"Not long." His response was muffled as he nuzzled my hair. "Maybe twenty minutes." He moved back to recline on his pillow. "I was watching you."
Heat crawled up my neck. "Really? Do you do that often?"
He chuckled and nodded. "You know I do. I've told you how I used to do that nearly every time you slept over."
I thought back on those times before we'd lived together and my blush deepened. I'd been so shy about sleeping with him at first, worried about waking up with my hair in a tangled mess or drool on my pillow. He'd never complained and always insisted on us spending the nights together, no matter how we were feeling; sick, tired, overworked, etc. We'd been practically living together before that break-up and the year apart.
"You have the cutest little snore."
I groaned and buried my face against his shoulder as he laughed. He tried to draw me out but I burrowed deeper, pulling the covers up as I went. Christian followed, finding my body beneath the covers and making me sigh when he slipped warm hands under my shirt. I could tell from his touch that he wasn't trying to seduce me -- this time. He was touching me just for the simple joy of touching me.
I recalled those days we had lived apart. First, there was that one year when I'd moved away for work and we'd fought and split up before I'd left. I tilted my head back to look up at him, remembering how awful that fight had been. I still cringed to think of the things we'd said to each other.
"What's wrong?" he asked me now, touching my cheek.
I shook my head. "I was just thinking about when I moved away."
His lips tightened and he nodded before bending down to press a loving kiss to my forehead. "I hated not being with you."
"Me too."
We fell silent again.
I laid my palm against his chest. "I remember when we got back together, and every time we were able to see each other, we never stopped touching, it seemed."
His chuckle rumbled under my palm and he nodded in agreement. "It was awful every time you had to leave again."
"We were only apart for what? Eight months?"
"Yeah, and every time you left it felt like you took my heart with you."
I melted inside at his words. Every time he spoke to me like this, it reminded me of how much we did, and still do, mean to each other. We had these conversations often, talking about different milestones in our relationship. How we met, our first time for everything -- kiss, sex, fight -- the big fight that resulted in our break-up for a year. We talked about how we got back together, how we made our long-distance relationship work until he was able to move to be with me in the new city. Everything from birthdays to holidays to arguments over interior decorating and who we thought would win Monday night football. We talked about all that, and anything else that occurred to us, all the time. I loved being able to talk to him about everything.
"Did you know, when we first met, that it would be like this for us?" I asked.
He considered his answer before he spoke, running his hand in light patterns over my skin and up my chest. He tugged my shirt out of the way and lowered his eyes to watch as he circled one slowly hardening nipple with his finger.