What is trust? Does trust exist if it does not go both ways? I have continued to ask myself that question as I was about to do something that violates another person trust.
I glanced up at the clock as I sat in the living room area in Sebastian's apartment. I was overwhelmed with nervousness at what I was about to do. I didn't have much time, so I needed to be quick about it. I felt this overwhelming feeling of guilt as I glanced at the door. Behind that door could be the answer, the answer to all Sebastian's secrets.
"Just do it Emma...you will never be at peace," I told myself. I stood up and approached Sebastian's private home office door. It was once again Tuesday afternoon and Sebastian has been regularly having lunch with his mother. I could only imagine what she and him discuss. Sebastian is very closed lip in regards to his dear mother. Since he was away at lunch, it left me with an opportunity to snoop around his apartment, mainly his private office before I had class.
I touched the round door knob, convincing myself that I am entitled to know. I am his girlfriend, we have a committed relationship and hell...I love him. That's right! I love Sebastian Blaire, I love his boyish charm, his curious or should I say inquisitive personality. I love his messy chestnut brown hair, his haunting green eyes and that sexy smirk that is only for me. I even have come to love his possessiveness and in return I have been possessive. So when you love a person like how I love Sebastian, I feel that gives me some entitlement to share his burdens, his fear, and his secrets.
I pushed the door open and the office was a complete 180 of his office at work. It was completely vintage. From the built in book cases that surrounded the entire room, to the mahogany grain wood desk that looked aged and regal. The room would seem odd or displace when looking at the rest of the home. However, the room truly embodied his old soul.
I was currently letting myself get distracted by the pictures that littered one wall. Some were his, which he had taken. Some belong to a local painter, who was famous for drawing sea ports and lighthouses.
My eyes quickly trailed down to a file cabinet and I was quickly reminded why I came into his office. I rushed over to the file cabinet expecting to find it locked, but with one tug the cabinet draw came out. Inside were files lined in alphabetical order. My eyes scan across the names, looking for something to pop out and catch my attention. I then repeated my step with the other two draws and found nothing but Sebastian's extensive clientele.
I left the file cabinet and quickly approached the desk. On his desk was a cord where his laptop would be plugged into, a small lamp and a picture...of him and I. It was from one of our many date nights, after the date he and I drove to Yorktown Beach. It was on that date where I first began to hint that I might love him as I drew his name and mine with a huge heart around it into the sand. I tried to not let myself get distracted by the heart melting photo, but it made the task even more difficult.
I drummed up the courage and quickly began to open up the draws to the desk. About thirty minutes later I was shifting through the remaining folders. My eyes scanning over files that now littered Sebastian's desk.
"Nothing!" I complained again. "Absolutely nothing!"
"Yes, you found nothing!" My heart dropped as I heard Sebastian voice. My eyes quickly panned up to his face, he was mad...steaming mad. His normal wolfish green eyes look at me with resentment rather than their normal affection. His arms were crossed over his chest as he practically glared at me. I was trying to create an excuse but none came to me.
"Oh shit!" I whispered. I quickly sat up from his office desk chair.
"Sit!" He growled. I quickly sat like a good girl.
"Seb..." I was mid word when he hushed me once again.
"What was the one request I made of you?" His tone was harsh as he approached me. He now stood in front of his desk, staring down at me.
"You asked me to please stay out of your office," I mumbled.
"Are you a child?" He asked me as he slowly came around to where I sat. I quickly swiveled my chair to face away from him.
"No," I huffed.
"Then why the childish behavior?"
"I am not being childish...I just wanted to know...to help you...because I care," I mumbled. He sighed as he spun me around in the chair so I faced him. He no longer had the scowl and his eyes appeared to be softening towards me.
"I know you care and I know you want to help but this...this is my secret...my shame. It's bad enough my family is burdened with what I've done. I don't want you burden with it...also I have this fear...you would leave me," he said.
"I could never leave you...I..." he silenced me as he kissed me hard on the lips. My mind was all muddled up as his lips trailed down my neck. He quickly picked me up into his arms, my legs wrapped tight around his waist. He had one destination in mind and that was the bedroom. In fact, it was more of a norm, after he got back from his mothers, he usually wanted to make love. Sebastian walked quickly, every movement he took was grinding me hard against his already stiff member in his navy blue slacks.
He had me on his bed in no time and looked down at my body. His fingertips glided down my bare leg up to my mid-thigh. That same devilish smirk now graced his face and it sent a chill of pleasure straight to my lower anatomy.
"Oh Miss Carrington, I feel I am going to have to punish you greatly," he teased. His fingertips tickling further up my short mini sundress.
"Punishment...as your girlfriend, I was just exercising my rights to be concerned," I mumbled. "Plus, I stay here so much, doesn't that entitle me to Cohabiting Property rights?
"I see someone has done this week's reading for class," he teased.
"As always Professor Blaire, as always," I returned in my own teasing manner.
"Why I really want to punish you is for wearing this short ass dress." Sebastian gripped the flimsy material within his hands.
"It is the first real warm day this week, that gives me entitlement to wear cute sundresses, and it is not that short," I pouted.
"Well as your boyfriend, you better not go out into public wearing anything like this again or I am going to bend you over and spank that ass of yours," he teased as he caressed my bottom. I was about to speak, but he quickly pulled me up into his arms and kissed me hard once again. However, our steamy session was quickly interrupted by the ringing of the phone. As he glanced at it, I could see it was the Devil's whore a.k.a Jen. I was hoping he wouldn't answer her, but he did.
"What is it Jen?" Frustration was deeply embedded within the tone of his voice.
I heard Jen chuckle before stating, "Someone sounds frustrated, I could always help you out with that."
"Go fuck yourself!" Sebastian yelled over the phone. I chuckled in response to his words.
"Oh I have, twice, but dildos and fingers can never truly compare to you, not even your father or brother," she stated. I think I am going to be sick as I heard her mention the ugly truth of her ties to Sebastian and his family. "My pussy is getting wet just thinking about your cock and the dirty things you..." she was mid-sentence before Sebastian cut her off by asking her, "What do you want Jen?" Sebastian rolled off of me and headed out the bedroom. I really wanted to snatch the phone and tell her to fuck off and if she came near Sebastian and his family, I would potentially kill her.
I could hear the mumbling of Jen's voice as Sebastian and her continued to talk as I enter the living room. "Shit! What do you mean the deposition was leaked to the press?" Sebastian growled before sighing. "This is going to be a fucking media circus. Get Vince on it right now, I will be there in a minute." Sebastian hung up and turned to me.
"You have to go," I stated even though I already knew the answer.
"Yes," Sebastian's eyes trailed down my body. "I expect you to be wearing something more appropriate this afternoon for class," he said. "Do you understand?" he asked.
"Yes," I pouted. He fixed his shirt and headed out of the room. When I heard the front door open and close I knew he was gone. I headed toward the closet where more of my clothes hung. I went to pull out a long maxi dress, but I had the desire to be rebellious.
