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I woke up to the street lamps peeking through the window, letting a soft white light cascade over the sheets and onto our bare legs. His arm was wrapped around me protectively and I traced a scar that ran up his forearm almost connecting with his hand. He had gotten it a few years ago from me. He had pulled my hair for the last time, he would run off thinking it was funny, but the last time I caught his foot in mid stride. He skidded almost across the whole lawn, I snuck in a giggle before I saw his arm bleeding more than it should have been. I got in plenty of trouble but he was nicer to me ever since. Looking at it now I never shown that Evan's charm got to me like all the other girls and I think that's why we developed such a good relationship.
So here I was laying in his bed, our feet entangled, and the feel of his warm sleeping breath was teasing the back of my neck. I was dreaming, I had to be. As if answering my question a sharp pain escaped from between my thighs. I carefully lifted the sheet and looked below to find a slight proof between my thighs that it in fact was real. Blushing, I carefully removed his arm from around me and padded my way in the dimly lit room to his side of the bed where his bathroom was located. I quickly shut the door and continued to further inspect the faint stain between my thighs. There wasn't that much blood, relief went through me knowing that his sheets probably didn't fall victim. As I was cleaning myself off I heard a buzzing coming from a crumpled pair of jeans on the floor nearby. Curiosity getting the best of me I leaned over and retrieved a cell phone from one of the pockets. The screen lit up and a text message appeared from Sara.
Had a great time the other night, what are you up to now? Mind if I stop by?
Jealousy and guilt rushed over me, tears immediately filled my eyes. The lump in my throat I tried to keep at bay was proving to be harder to control as each second passed. I shouldn't have looked through his phone but I'm glad to know that my questioning about their relationship was confirmed. It was 2 O' Clock in the morning, clearly this wasn't foreign to them. How long would it be before I was pushed aside and another blonde bimbo like Sara would replace me between his sheets? I couldn't be another conquest to him, another girl to brag to his friends, using my feelings to take advantage for his reckless sexual needs. I wouldn't regret our time together it was what I always pictured it would be and more, but to keep it going would be reckless on my part. And in the end I would be the one to be hurt by the inevitable outcome. No, after tonight we would go back to the way it was, even if it meant me having to yearn from afar. Evan could be the one to leave me completely broken if I ever became completely vulnerable to him and as much as I would love to risk that, I just knew I couldn't.
I looked in the mirror wiping away the tears that had escaped. Taking a couple deep breaths I reminded myself to be strong, that in the end it would be a choice I couldn't regret making for myself. I opened the door and turned off the light. Standing in the door way, I saw that Evan was now lying on his back with one arm behind his head while the sheets pooled loosely around his waist. The light displayed across his peaceful face outlining his jaw and the dark stubble that grew down past his chin. I traveled my eyes down past his toned biceps and his abs, where it began to form into a V before the blankets covered my view. I roamed my eyes back up stopping at his neck first, remembering every time I nipped or kissed it last night he would drive harder into me as if answering my request. He had a strong jaw, turning his features boarder line pretty, to manly. His lips were full and soft, but demanding. Everywhere those lips touched, my body seemed to spark with need and fire. His lashes were long for a guys but I think it only intensified that hypnotizing pool of green that hid beneath them.
My body heated again between thinking of what happened and the view I was sneaking. His eyes fluttered open and my heart did a nervous twist. He narrowed in and focused his gaze on me, starting at my eyes and hungrily looked down. I realized I didn't cover up before making my way to the bathroom and my cheeks heated at the look he was now giving me upon looking at the view I was giving him.
He leaned over grabbing my wrist and pulled me so that I lay on top of him. I squealed half-heartedly in protest but relaxed to the steady thump of his heart beneath my ear. As he stroked my hair I curiously placed my fingertip over his nipple wondering if his body would react the same as when he was touching mine. I felt a stir between us telling me my answer. I knew after tonight things couldn't continue. My mind battled my emotions, I should get up and leave right now. But it was like my body was magnetically pulled to his, no matter how hard I tried to pull away, the resistance was just too much.
I chose every bit what had happened with us, he had been the one to show restraint. I can only blame myself for wanting something I couldn't have, his heart. I knew my actions wouldn't change anything. But the way he kissed me, the way he touched me, wanted me to have that moment, and be in the moment. For once in my life, it wasn't about what would happen afterwards, it was about doing what I wanted, what I always wanted, and that the time that was Evan. Even if he was only mine for tonight. His actions were powerful, as if his body was speaking for himself. I wished that were the case, if his actions spoke louder than words I wouldn't have to worry about the predicament I put myself in.
I pulled my head up so that I was placed in the crook of his neck, breathing in a mixture of sweat and him. He smelled good, and I let out a long sigh in contentment. He pulled my hair to the side and began running his fingers up and down the length of my back, causing goose bumps to rise from my skin. His hands were calloused compared to the smooth skin of my back, but strong. No doubt caused from all the years he worked with his hands. I took my hand that had been roaming his chest and weaved it through his messy hair, pulling back locks that threatened to fall towards his face. He grabbed my wrist and rolled me over so that one arm was cradling my neck and towards his body.
He let go of my wrist and tucked a few stray strands of my auburn hair so that it rested behind my ear. He traced the shape of my face starting from my temple, past my cheek, to my chin. His eyes pierced into mine as if trying to read my thoughts. My breath quickened, breaking his trance to look at my bare chest as it rose and fell. His hand was flat as his palm cascaded down my neck, down my cleavage. He tried to cup my whole breast in his grasp and I was pleased to see that it spilled out where his big hands couldn't quite manage to grab. I bit my lip as his gaze came back to me instead of following his hand. He slowly traveled down my ribs past my hips so that his hand rested against my now moist mound.
Not breaking eye contact. "Are you sore at all?" His voice was deep and husky.
"A little." I broke out, my voice wasn't as strong as his seemed to be.
He spread my folds with his fingers, slowly stroking my tender flesh as if to soothe it. Inserting one finger, my breath caught and I closed my eyes to his skillful touch. Taking that as a sign to continue, he continued his rhythm of removing his finger and pushing it farther in with each stroke. I placed my hand on his chest and opened my eyes to see him still staring at me. I couldn't let him keep looking at me like that, it was tugging at my heart strings hoping he would see more. That I could possibly mean something more to him than someone he could call over whenever he wants like he does with Sara.
