Sally came out of the shower to find that Valerie was still in bed. It being the weekend, there was no need for her to be up right at this moment, but they were planning to visit Charles, their Master, today. As she studied the face of her lover, she detected a hint of sadness there. She didn't like seeing Valerie sad, and she had a suspicion she knew what the cause was. They still had three hours to be at Charles', so Sally felt able to take the time to have her shoulder cried upon.
"Hey there, little lady. Why the long face?"
"Oh. I'm sorry, Sally. It's noth..."
"Don't give me nothing lover. We're partners for life. What makes you sad, makes me sad. Out with it! Why the long face?"
"It's an anniversary."
"Mike?"
"Yeah. He proposed today, all those years ago. I stopped celebrating them after he died."
Mike Burbon was Valerie's husband. He had died five years ago in a car accident. That was from another time in Valerie's life, before she discovered her ability to enjoy sex and fall in love with a woman. It was Sally's total acceptance of Mike that had allowed Valerie to remember those times with the joy as well as the pain they had always held for her. The picture of him and Valerie, once packed away for so many years, had been a prominent fixture in the living room of the house for the last six months.
"So this is the first time since he died that you've let yourself remember it?"
Tears filled her eyes as she answered. They were tears of sadness at the loss, yes, but they were more. There was guilt as well. She had turned away from the memories of the man she had loved with all her heart for so many years. "Yes. God, Sally, it hurts so much."
"I know it does, dear. It always will. But you can honor him by remembering. I can honor him by listening and committing your memories to my heart. Come on, tell me about it. I want to know every detail of the proposal, the wedding and honeymoon. Let me know the man you loved."
"You know we waited until we were married to have sex, right?" At Sally's nod, Valerie continued. "We were married almost exactly one year after we first met. It was late May when we met and Francine and I were at Schweitzer ski resort thanks to a late season snow fall."
As Valerie continued to talk, time seemed to roll back and Sally felt like she was there, watching.
* * *
In those days, I was very hetero and very bad at skiing. Francine had browbeaten me into taking some lessons that weekend. I truly sucked! Fortunately, the resort had a good club for après ski celebrations. My butt was so sore that I didn't want to sit down, so I danced instead. I've always been a good dancer and was finally enjoying myself. I had no shortage of partners. Then he asked me to dance.
I knew immediately that we were perfect dance partners for each other. We danced like we had been dancing together for years. Every move I made, he anticipated and matched. I seemed to know just what he was going to do and flowed into it like honey onto a scone. There was an excitement that went through me when we touched. I didn't recognize it then. After all, I'd never been in love before. I was just enjoying the dancing. I even managed to forget those stupid skiing lessons.
Occasionally, we took a break from dancing and talked. I can still remember exactly what we talked about — ourselves. I was just starting at Bradford and Gashune advertising agency at that time and he was truly fascinated by the intricacies of advertising. He was in construction, a site foreman for Wellington Contractors. He loved his work and could talk about it for hours. Yet, he didn't that night. He was interested in me in a way that I had never experienced before. It never felt like prying, yet he learned so much about me. I remember how considerate he was of my privacy.
He had asked, "So how was your day of skiing?"
I suppose my frown was a dead give away. "Oh, loads of fun. Everyone likes to spend the holidays as a student."
"You're not a skier, then?"
"No. I never liked it much and never wanted to."
"Why is that?"
I hesitated. I'm really reluctant to share fears; especially irrational ones. I was trying to decide what lie to feed him when he interrupted. "No. That's too personal. Leave it at 'I don't like to ski,' and that'll be good."
I'm pretty sure I blushed at that. As I was trying to regain my bearings, he took my hand.
"Come on. I want to do something I haven't done in ages."
He led me outside onto the lodge's veranda. It was cold outside, but he didn't seem to notice. I didn't notice much either. His presence seemed to be a warm spot in the world. We walked to the back side of the building. The snow around the lodge was well trampled, but you could see the unmarred snow on the slopes in the distance. The moonlight made the snow glitter like millions of little stars reaching out to their cousins in the sky. Then he reached up, broke off an icicle from the edge of the roof, and licked it like a popsicle.
"I always loved doing this as a kid," he explained. "Want a lick?" he asked as he offered the end to me.
I couldn't help myself. I just laughed. Then I took a lick myself. I damn near froze my tongue to the thing. We took turns licking that icicle until it was a little stub of ice. He popped it into his mouth and I could hear it crunching as he chewed it. By now, with cold both inside and outside me, I was shivering.
"Come; let's get you inside to warm up."
I responded with, "I think I'll only feel warm under that down comforter on my bed."
"Let me have the honor of escorting you, then," replied Mike with a gentlemanly bow and a mischievous smile.
He led me by the hand back inside and up the stairs. When we reached my room, he took both my hands and looked into my eyes. I felt like he was looking deep into my soul and, honestly, I was a little scared of how much he was seeing of me.
"Valerie, I had a wonderful time tonight. I hope we have a chance to spend more time with one another this weekend."
"I did too. I would like that. Maybe at breakfast?"
"I'll see you downstairs at...?"
"8.00?"
