Graduation Summer

Rita awoke and saw Chris standing in the doorway to her room around mid-morning.

"How long have you been there?"

"Just got here. Your mom let me in as she was leaving.

"So???"

Sitting up in her loose night shirt, "So, what??"

"Details. Are you going out with him again? What did you guys do? What did you talk about?" all of that came out of Chris's mouth in about two seconds.

"He described the late night getting home on graduation night."

"Probably in not as much detail as you gave me," Chris laughed.

Ignoring the comment, Rita continued, "He told me about his conversations with his mom and dad about getting home late. It was kind of funny, because he said how his dad saw a car go up the road and didn't return. And that he had the idea of walking up there any banging on the hood of the car. Man, would that have been something!! But I did have to laugh at that. Anyway, we had a great time. Miniature golf up at the lake, pizza, and..."

"And what?"

"We wound up at the round-about."

"Really? Thought you weren't going to do anything like that."

"Kind of my idea," Rita added. "We finished pizza, which was really good by the way, then in the car he asked if I wanted to go home and hang out. I hadn't really considered it until we kissed up at the lake. Then the drive back, I knew I'd have to make a decision on what to do after eating. I was having fun. Enjoyed being with him. So I thought, 'why not?' I figured the worse thing that could happen if I felt uncomfortable, I could always ask for him to take me home. I know he would've with no problem. I really do trust him."

"Wait, you didn't have a condom."

"It was nothing like that. We just made-out. Never touched my boobs or went under my top. However, do you still have a condom in your purse?"

"Why?"

"I don't know.

"Maybe I'll want to again."

"I'll get you one. Rita, are you sure about all of this? I mean, you're my best friend and I would die if you got hurt."

"I know. I keep thinking about that too. He's not going to hurt me. He knows he did once before and he was really sorry, but not this time. I can tell he really cares about me."

"But he cheated on his now ex-girlfriend. What if he does the same to you?"

"What if I decide to go out with somebody else without telling him? Would I be cheating on him?"

Rita continued, "Look, both of us know that neither of us are not looking for a relationship this summer. We're both going off to school. Different schools. We just agreed to hang out as friends."

"Yeah, but sex can make things more complicated," Chris added.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It's just that it felt soooo good the other night. Then last night. I want to feel that again. Maybe if I go slower, after all, we have the whole summer.

"I am going to take a shower. You can hang out here if you want."

...

We talked on Wednesday and I asked her if she would like a movie or go bowling here in town.

"Bowling. I haven't bowled in years. Maybe we should do that, you could get your revenge after the miniature golf", she laughed.

"What movies are playing?"

I checked the local paper and read them off to her. Our town didn't have a movie theater, but three of the surrounding towns did, including the lake town. Two were action movies, there was a 'chick flic' playing at the lake theater.

"Do you mind going back up to the lake, I'd like to see that one? Maybe we can bowl next week."

Next week, I thought to myself. I like where this is going.

"Not at all. What time does it start?"

"One at 7 and then 9."

"Let's do the 7:00 one. I see you a little before 6:30."

"Sounds good. You going to buy me popcorn?"

I could hear the smile over the phone.

"Absolutely. What's a movie without popcorn? Oh, by the way, my mom is throwing a birthday picnic for my dad on Sunday. What to come?"

"Sounds like a family thing. Are you sure I wouldn't feel out of place?"

"Not at all. My dad would love it if you were there. My mom too. They both like you a lot."

"OK. Sounds like fun."

"We'll talk about more on Saturday."

...

It had been about a week since the party and the break up with Cindy. It was a Wednesday, and I was working during the day at the store stocking shelves, it was just before noon. My mind wandering, playing out the events of the past week with Rita when out of the corner of my eye I sensed somebody standing next to me. Turning. Cindy. We stood - just staring at each other for what must have been ten to fifteen seconds before she spoke. Her voice strained her face saddened as she softly spoke looking down.

"You never called. I was sure you would call. Why didn't you call? If you had just called and apologized it would have been OK. But you never called. Did our relationship mean so little to you that the first fight we ever had... that you... that you could just, just turn and walk away from it? You didn't even try to save it," sighing, "To bring us back together. Did you care that little for me?"

She was on the verge of major tears, her voice cracking, "Look, I can't do this right now. Right here. I have my lunch break in about fifteen minutes. Meet me by my car. We'll go someplace private and talk. OK?"

She just nodded, turned, and walked out of the store. Wow. I never saw this coming. I had fifteen minutes to figure out what I was going to say to her. I had never seen her so hurt.

...

Pulling out of the parking lot, "Let's go to a park," I said. Cindy only nodded as she stared out the window as we drove in silence.

The park was city block square. Fully grown oak trees, which had probably been there for over a hundred years with a playground. Luckily, we were the only ones there as we got out and sat at a nearby picnic table next to each other, but not 'next' to each other, not touching, each staring straight ahead in silence for a few moments. Taking a deep breath I softly spoke.

"You told me you never wanted to hear from me again. Not to call. You returned my ring. What was I supposed to think?"

"You could have realized that I was over-reacting. Once I cooled down, you could have called. I would have talked to you. But, NOOOO! YOU WENT OUT ON A DATE THAT SATURDAY NIGHT.

THREE

DAYS AFTER..." she broke down and sobbed, tears trailing down her cheeks. I had never had a girl cry. I could've taken her in my arms and told her I was sorry. I could have said all the nice things to get us back together; but, I couldn't. And I didn't. The reason; Rita.

As her sobbing subsided and she regained her composure, wiping her eyes, "So who is she? Is she one of THOSE girls from the party?" she spat.

"Well, yes. She was at the party. But, she was not one of THOSE girls. Her name is Rita. She goes to our church, was part of our youth group, and I've known her since eighth grade. We're getting together as just friends. Somebody to hang out with. We both know we're going off to school in a few months and she doesn't even want a boyfriend. Wants to be at school with no commitments back home."

"Have you kissed her?"

"I'm not going to answer that."

"I'll take that as a YES," I just shook my head.

A few moments later, "So, where does that leave us?" she softly said, now turning and looking at me with red puffy eyes.

Taking a deep breath as this was

not

going to be easy, "Cindy. I know it took a lot of courage for you to come into the store. To stand in front of me. To come here," pausing as I took another deep breath and swallowed hard, "but, I can't. It wouldn't be fair to you. I mean, would you not go to Homecoming if someone asked you? Or the Prom? Or any other school event? Would you be happy sitting at home weekends? Your last year of High School? I've got school for at least four more years. Can you do that for the next four years? Seeing each other only during my three school breaks and then summers? And who knows after that. There's a war going on. I may get drafted. Then what?"

"Fair to ME? Is that all you're concerned about? What about YOU? " she asked with a tone of sarcasm pointing her finger at my chest, "Is

that

what you're excuse is? Not fair for little ole ME. Would you be at school, just hanging out with the guys? Never going on dates with girls? Never flirting? For the next four years. Or is this just an excuse to cut the cord so you can go off and have your fun? Like the fun you had at

that

party." the venom in her voice was dripping.

"Was everything you said to me just a bunch of bull shit? That you loved me!!"

Wow, I had never heard her use anything close to swearing.

"Or, were you just going out with me because of all the fun I let you have with my body? Playing with my boobs. Touching me wherever you wanted? I never refused you ANYTHING. If you had asked me to go all the way with you, I would have done it. But you never did. Never even suggested it. Never even tried."

Moments later, "I knew this was a mistake," she sighed dejectedly, "my girlfriends convinced me that if I came to you. Talked to you, I could get you back. Bill. I will do ANYTHING! And I mean ANYTHING!"

Taking a deep breath, "Cindy, we're not getting back together. After that phone call I realized something I hadn't realized before..."

Finishing my sentence, Cindy quietly said as she looked to the ground, "That you really don't love me."

Her final words to me as I watched as she stood and walked back to the car.

...

On the drive to the movie we chatted about our week.

"I had a visitor at the store Wednesday."

"Oh?"

Sighing, "Yeah. I was stocking a shelf. Not really paying attention to anything when I felt someone next to me. Cindy. She looked scared and about to cry."

"Sooo, what'd you do?"

I then proceeded to tell her about going to the park and the whole conversation.

"She ended up sobbing. Right there in the park," sighing, "I never wanted to hurt her. Seeing her crying like that."

"You still care about her. Don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess I do. I mean given everything we did together. It was just so hard. To sit there and see her heart get broken. She really thought we could work it out and get back together," sighing, "I never want to do that again," my voice cracking, "make a girl cry".

Reaching over and gently resting her hand on my thigh, "I know you won't. And that's why I feel so safe with you. I know you will never hurt me... Again. Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No No. It's OK. I understand. And, NO, I'll never hurt you; again."

We drove in silence for a few minutes, before Rita asked, "She offered herself to you?"

"Yeah."

"Said if you had asked, she would have let you do it?"

"Yeah."

"So, why didn't you? I mean get back together?"

"A lot of reasons. After the phone call, and even before I called you, I realized that I really wasn't all that upset. I even told my mom that, when we talked that afternoon. She understood. Yeah, maybe it was the hormones, and yeah, maybe it was the excitement of all the stuff she let me do that I kept going out with her. I know that sounds pretty shitty, doesn't it? I mean thinking you were in love with someone because of the stuff she would let me do? But, she seemed like she enjoyed too."

"Well, she did let you. She could have said 'No'. I'm pretty sure you would have honored that. Did you really think you loved her?"

"She was my first in a lot of ways. And yeah, I really thought I did and I think she did too. I mean I don't think she let me do everything because it was her way to keep me. I am pretty sure she felt the same for me."

"I think it was a combination of being your first love. They call it 'puppy love', but at the end of the day, it's still love and it still hurts when it ends. And yeah the other stuff too."

"Not to get too personal, but have you ever been in love?" I asked.

"Well, I can't really say that I have. I mean, the guy I gave my virginity to, was nice. I enjoyed being with him, we had fun, and the virginity part was kind of a spur of the moment thing, in the heat of passion, in the backseat of his car, and not very comfortable. When it was over we both knew it was a one-time thing. He was as inexperienced as I was. We parted ways shortly thereafter. Nobody got hurt, but I knew, through some of my friends, the pain they went through when they were broken up with.

"So, no. Like I said, can't really say that I have. I've never had my heart broken. Hurt a little," as she looked over at me, "But, like I told you that night; you'll always remember your 'first'. So, I think you'll have other girlfriends come and go in your life; but, you'll always remember her as your first love. You said there were a lot of reasons. What else?"

"Being with you."

"Me?"

"Yeah. I mean; I really had genuine fun last Saturday night, the miniature golf. It was the kind of fun I'd never experienced before. The flirting. The teasing. Plus, I could tell you were having fun. And I was feeding off your care-freeness."

"Oh, and I thought it was just that you enjoyed glimpses of my bra covered little boobies," even in the dark I could hear the smile.

"Well, that too."

"Anything else?"

"I remembered what you had said to me that first night outside your house, that you didn't want a boyfriend. That you wanted to go to school with no strings, to be able to enjoy college life without being tied down. Maybe I was being selfish; but, I realized that I wanted that too."

"That's not being selfish. That's being practical. Were you prepared to go off to school and not date for four years? Were you expecting that she would just sit home and watch TV for four years?"

"I guess in my ideal naïve little world; yeah."

"You know, I believe that you would. Not date out of respect for your relationship with her. But that's exactly why I don't want a boyfriend."

Turning away briefly from driving, smiling, "You

ARE

a smart girl. Just like my mom said," she beamed back at me.

The conversation shifted to lighter and more mundane things. Me, about the stuff my dad had me do around the farm and then the time at the grocery store stocking shelves at night with the guys. The upcoming picnic. Rita, about her hanging out with Chris; sometimes in one or the other's backyard in bikinis. Neither had a pool, but they would just lay out on the grass with towels working on their tans.

I tried to picture that. Two lean and fit bodies in bikinis. Smooth glistening oiled tummies, legs, chests... I wondered if they let the straps of their tops down. Or when laying on their stomachs, did they undo the clasp on their tops, exposing their entire smooth bare backs. Did they put sun tan lotion on each other's back?

Rita must have noticed my distraction, "You OK?"

"Yeah, fine. Just imagining you two in bikinis."

"Hmmm. Who knows, maybe someday you'll be able to do more than just imagine," she said with a big grin.

The movie was alright, as 'chick flics' go. We each had popcorn and I had my right arm around her with my hand resting on her shoulder. She had her left hand on my thigh. There was an arm rest between us so we couldn't get too close, but the feel of her shoulder in my hand was nice, along with her hand on my thigh.

We wandered down to the arcade, where I once again got my butt kicked in pin ball. She offered a few distractions; views down her blouse and her breasts against my arms and back, so it wasn't completely my fault. Man that girl doesn't play fair. But I liked it, and she knew it.

We walked arm-in-arm down to the boat dock. Standing there my arm around her waist and her head on my shoulder we looked out into the night across the lake. The night air was still with only a half moon as I pulled her close as she turned to face me. Our lips met half way as I pulled her chest into mine, her arms locked behind my head pulling our lips together. Our tongues danced as we ground our bodies together. Man, I love the feel of those breasts. Between the thinness of her top and my tee shirt, it was almost like nothing was between us. We both let a moan as I rubbed my hand up and down her back. I sensed that probably her top would have ridden up exposing the small of her back, but didn't want to interrupt the moment.

Again, we were interrupted by an approaching couple. Guess this place is popular.

"Pizza?" I asked.

She nodded.

I was hoping for some time at the roundabout. But would patiently see how this would play out.

The pizza was good. The waitress again gave me a funny look. Oh well. We fed the juke box, and played a slow song. The song '

Cherish

' was listed. I don't know if she saw it, but decided to let it pass...this time...maybe some other time. Instead, we picked Andy Williams "

Moon River

". Kind of cheesy; but, we each wanted something soft, smooth, and most important - slow.

We were the only ones in the restaurant portion and there was a small open area near the juke box as the record played.

Moon river, wider than a mile

I'm crossing you in style some day

Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker

Wherever you're going, I'm going your way

We danced in our own little world. Her arms around my neck, mine around her waist, her firm little breasts against my chest as she rested her head on my shoulder and I rested mine against hers. I don't think our feet moved much. We just swayed to the music. Holding each other. As the song ended, we stepped back and looked at each other. Each of us wanted to kiss. She hesitated, knowing where we were. I looked around, we were the only ones in the room as we leaned in, our lips met briefly.

I had never done that with Cindy; the dancing part. Don't know why, just never did. I paid the bill and the waitress gave me a smile and nodded.

We got into the car, and she scooted over and sat right next to me.

"What would you like to do", I asked.

"I was thinking of the roundabout, if you wanted to," she replied

"That would be nice. I was hoping you'd be ok with that."

"Or, what about someplace more private? How about where you used to go? Unless you're uncomfortable with that idea", she added hesitantly.

"I'm ok. Are you ok? I mean..."

"Don't worry. I'm fine. Besides, I'll make sure you won't have time to think about the past," she purred as she leaned over to kiss my cheek.

It was a five minute drive when I pulled into the wooded lane I had gotten to know so well, parked about twenty yards off the gravel road so the car couldn't be seen from the road, and pushed the seat back as far as it would go. Her face glowed from the dim light of the radio. I figured we had about an hour and a half. "

"Cindy, who?" went through my hormone raged brain and exited. Never to be recalled again.

Our lips met with a passion, her arms around my neck. I moved my hand down her back to the lower part of her blouse. She reached around and moved my hand down to the exposed patch of skin just above her shorts and released it. I can take a hint. My hand traveled up her bare back, across the thin bra strap, pulling up the front of her top and in the process exposing a bit of tummy.

Minutes later, "Let's get this off," she whispered, pulling my tee shirt over my head and threw it into the backseat.

Our lips met again, only this time with her soft hands traveling up and down my bare back.

Reaching down, I grasped the sides of her top and pulled it over her head. It joined my shirt in the backseat. Reaching behind her to unhook the single clasp I gently pulled the shoulder straps down her arms. It joined the growing pile of clothes. I gazed down at the swell of her pert breasts and the rigid nipples in the dim light of the radio. Lifting her up, she got on her knees, turned and lay across my lap, her back gently resting against the steering wheel.