Anniversary

Karen tries to put things back together, with a realisation.

I arrived at the psychiatrist just before my appointment time, Karen was waiting, centre hair parting. Her nervousness was palatable. We just said hello to each other but that was all. A young lady with the classic secretary look appeared. She asked me to follow her. I was shown into a room. It was unassuming, it had books all around the walls, two large windows, a large empty fireplace and three chairs each with a small table beside them. There was a lady standing in the middle of the room. She came to me, put her hand out and said. "Thank you for coming, I'm Doctor Jane Trethowan, please call me Jane, Doctor Jane or Ms Trethowan if you wish I'm happy with anything." She was an unremarkable looking woman, the sort of thing I'd expect a psychiatrist to be, medium height, medium build, short blonde hair. But then she smiled and the whole atmosphere changed. That was her secret weapon. The smile was very disarming. I shook her hand it was firm but her hand felt cold. I decided on informal professionalism and went for Doctor Jane.

We sat down and a few seconds later the secretary came in bringing me a pot of tea which she put on the small table next to me, she gave Doctor Jane a mug of coffee with a spoon in it. I had a feeling these were props for thinking time. It's a technique I had used myself. I smiled at Doctor Jane and said, "Do you drink much coffee during your day at work?"

She smiled back, "I don't always finish the mug, but yes quite a lot, sometimes it's tea." That seemed to set a rapport between us.

She asked me to go through what led up to the divorce, she explained she'd heard Karen's side, now she wanted mine. I told her everything. I've been through it so many times in my head and talking to David and going over it with the Karens, it didn't take long. Talking to Doctor Jane I wasn't angry like I had been in the past when I talked about it, halfway through I was in tears. When I finished, I poured myself another cup of tea and gathered myself together. The tea wasn't hot, but it did its job.

Doctor Jane sat there stirring her coffee, she's giving me time to gather myself. She told me that Karen had told her almost exactly the same, even down to the reason why we could no longer stay married. She put her coffee cup down, steepled her fingers and looked across the top of them at me in that classic manner of someone who's going to ask a difficult question. "Who Is normally in control of your lives at home, is it you or Karen?"

Bloody hell where did that come from? I had to think about it, "nobody really, the person most suited to the situation sort of took control, that's just how we did it, sometimes we shared it." I noticed she'd said 'who is normally', not who was normally in control'.

"What about in the bedroom, who took control there?" Ah now we're getting down to the sex bit I thought.

"Normally me I suppose, but not always; quite often Karen will be in control, initiate stuff or take charge"

"Karen tells me you two can be a little adventurous in the bedroom?"

"Doctor Jane, if you mean kinky, just say so." She smiled at me and nodded.

Again, I had to think a bit. "Kinky sex normally me. but even when Karen was being submissive she could still have control. She knows how to have some control from the bottom. We liked it that way, we both got what we wanted."

"How did you feel about giving up control of your wife to another man?"

Then it hit me, I didn't give up control, he took it, and she let him. I was going to have to get his address from Janice. He was going to get a visit.

Doctor Jane carried on. "Another man took control of your wife and got her to do things that she knew you would not approve of; how do you feel about that? Theirs wasn't a blatant equal loving relationship like you and Karen shared, it was sneaky, underhanded and devious; you like cricket so you see what he did as ungentlemanly."

I didn't have an answer for that. I hadn't seen it like that but now she'd mentioned it, it was obvious. She'd put it better than I ever could. He was definitely going to get a visit!

And I'd run out of tea by then.

Doctor Jane smiled at me which put me at ease, shit what was coming next. She didn't let me rest. "I don't doubt you've seen there are two Karens, old Karen and new Karen. What do you think that's all about?"

It took me a little while to gather myself and I noticed a fresh cup of tea on the table. I took a sip, it was hot, I didn't even notice it coming. "I'm not sure, but I'm pretty certain the old Karen knows I can't take her back. So, she's brought out a new Karen to try to win me. I think she's trying to show me that the new Karen is not the old Karen and she has learnt the lessons from the old Karen. A sort of 'Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others'. I think some German chap said that."

"And if that is the case, what do you think about it?"

Bugger, Doctor Jane didn't admit that was it. Perhaps I was wrong and there was something else that I hadn't seen. That gave me a bit to think about. Doctor Jane stood up, "Let's bring Karen in to get her view and hopefully you can sort it out between you. I need coffee and I'll get you some more tea."

Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others

"This is going to be interesting." I thought to myself, I haven't got my own feelings sorted out yet to two Karen's and now we were going to confront it. Perhaps that was a good idea.

It was nearly 10 minutes before they came back. Doctor Jane must have chatted with Karen. It doesn't take that long to boil a kettle for tea. Karen put the tea tray on the table next to me, gave me a little smile and whispered, "Thank you."

Doctor Jane looked at her watch, then said, "This session is probably going to overrun, are you happy with that?" We both nodded. "Karen, would you explain to Brian your theory behind the two Karens?"

Karen swivelled around in her chair and looked at me and explained her thoughts behind the two Karens. I was spot on, she even told me it was Otto von Bismarck with the fools and learning comment. She also explained the hair, she knew I liked it, especially when it was tucked behind one ear or she could peek out and be sexy. But she had to do it the other side so I'd know it wasn't old Karen it was new Karen. She was also having problems separating the two, that's why they became 'friends' so new Karen would have a legitimate reason for using old Karen's knowledge in trying to seduce me. I was less confused. She asked if now that I knew, if I minded if old Karen and new Karen stayed friends, I told her I was okay with that. She looked happy. But then I told her I was worried but I didn't want the old Karen's old mother hen instincts rubbing off on the new Karen. If I saw that, the whole game, and I used the word 'game', was off.

Doctor Jane sat there, and I'm certain she had a slight smile on her face. I must admit things were getting sorted out, some things we actually knew about, but hadn't talked about and this neutral ground seemed a good time and place. I was happier. Then Doctor Jane shattered it.

"Would you like to explain to Brian how you let another man take control of your life?"

"He didn't, I was in control all the time, I knew what was happening."

Doctor Jane leaned forward, looking at Karen and said in a quiet voice, "Then why did you take your wedding ring off?"

Karen looked like she'd been hit with a brick. Well, we both knew she took her ring off and the reason he gave her, but that wasn't it.

Looking at me "Oh fuck, I let him control me, and convincing me into taking my ring off was just another ploy to separate me from you." She wasn't crying, she was angry.

She carried on. "After we talked on that Saturday, you know; that day. I had no doubt you were right, but now I'm absolutely flipping certain it wasn't just a one off he was planning. I'll kill the bastard." She looked at Doctor Jane and said. "Sorry I shouldn't swear."

Doctor Jane just smiled. "Please don't, murder is illegal in this country and I can't carry on seeing you in prison. But swearing is ok."

Doctor Jane told us that was the end of the session, I was a little concerned, Karen was still angry. I asked if she was OK, she told me she was. I stood up to go when Doctor Jane asked me to stay for a little while. I wanted to follow Karen to make sure she didn't do anything stupid, but she just looked at me and told me it was okay. She smiled at me and said, "I know what Doctor Jane wants."

Doctor Jane asked me if we could have a private meeting in the pub around the corner, she had something to ask me of a personal nature. I told her I was concerned about Karen, that her last bombshell will do some damage. She assured me that Karen was okay unless she saw Oliver then a death may occur, but because he was up north, she would be OK, although a visit or a call from me later would probably help her out, so I agreed; we arranged to meet in 10 minutes in a pub around the corner.

When I got to the pub Doctor Jane was waiting for me with a glass of wine in front of her, and in front of an empty chair was a pint of dark beer, she indicated the chair for me. Somebody's been talking about my likes and dislikes. I told Doctor Jane I thought she was rough on Karen at the end of a session. I thought you were supposed to leave on a high.

Doctor Jane told me that Karen had manned up in her life and she wasn't going to get sad, she's going to get angry and that will put everything back into perspective. It was another step so Karen could see what she did wrong.

Doctor Jane leaned forward, "here we go the nitty gritty." I thought to myself.

"Karen's response to the problem she got herself into is unusual. I would like to write a paper on her recovery. But to complete the paper I would need your side of the problem and the recovery. Would you come to a meeting with me every other week so we can discuss how Karen is getting on and where you're going? I know it's very personal but it might help Karen and you as well."

I thought about that for a bit I couldn't see any problem and it certainly might help Karen. And I could always stop if I didn't like what was happening. But I didn't think I needed any help. "Okay Doctor can't see a problem as long as you make the sessions towards the end of the day, I don't want to lose too much work time over it. I was a bit intrigued by your comment about helping me though. I didn't think I needed any psychiatric help."

She used that smile again, "No you probably don't need any help, you seem to be handling this well. Especially now that you know what Karen's game is. But I've found it's good to talk to somebody not directly involved. I gather you've talked to Karen's Mum and Dad. But I'm certain there are things in your lives that you don't want to share with them that you can safely share with me. I won't get upset if you get angry with Karen, her parents might. Karen tells me you like them quite a lot and wouldn't want to upset them."

"Would you mind if I spoke to Karen about this paper thing, I'll do it right now on the phone."

"Please go ahead."

I went and found a quiet corner and phoned ex Karen and explained to her what Doctor Jane had asked, she knew all about it. Doctor Jane had asked her permission, she was happy for me to do it. Then she asked me something strange, how much was I getting paid for it. I told her nothing, I was just going to do it.

I walked back to Doctor Jane and there was a chap sitting next to her, as I approached, he stood up and put his hand out. I shook it. Doctor Jane said. "This is Roger, my other half."

Other half, boyfriend, husband? Never mind. He said. "Hello if you've not finished, I shall pop to the bar and come back when you've done, do you want another drink?" he said looking at me.

I told him it was OK. I thought we'd nearly finished and there was nothing that I wanted to keep secret. I also declined the drink saying that I was driving but thanked him for the offer anyway. I told Doctor Jane I'd spoken to ex-wife Karen and I was happy to proceed as long as she kept our names out of it. I was about to tell her what Karen had said about payment when her phone rang. She told us she had to get this, and she walked away.

Roger said. "OK, I'll just pop to the bar, give me a wave when you've finished."

She wandered into the corner of the pub and quite shortly came back with a smile on her face.

"I've just been told off by your ex-wife, for not paying you for your time whilst you're helping me write my paper."

That caused me to raise an eyebrow in a Roger Moore kind of way when he played the Saint.

"You seem surprised at that?"

"Yes, Karen's rarely, what can we say; that direct, upfront, or harsh when it comes to money."

"You may see a few changes in Karen's attitude about a lot of things." She smiled her big smile, and I got the impression, and it was only an impression that her work with Karen was bearing fruit.

I really had seen a few changes in old Karen in the last couple of hours, I might have to reassess my position with her. I told her I thought we'd finished and I had to get home, she waved to Roger who came across.

As he approached, he put his hand out again, I took it and he said to me as we shook hands. "Please excuse us, I've managed to get us a table here as Jane and I need to talk about our wedding."

Ah fiancé, in between boyfriend and husband then. I wished them well and headed home. I had two little girls to feed, and probably a half-eaten body of a mouse or two to clear up.

I grabbed some fish and chips on the way home, I didn't feel like cooking. I did think of popping around to see Karen, but I had some thinking of my own to do. It wasn't cold, but when I got in, I lit a fire, it's therapeutic watching the flames. And the girls like it. I cracked open a beer. sitting in front of a fire on the floor helped me think. Has old Karen changed?

Was the new Karen a product of that change? I hadn't finished thinking it through with an almighty clatter much louder than usual from the cat flap and a black ball of fur came strolling in with a small bundle of fur in her mouth rapidly followed by a ginger cat. It was a very small Tortoiseshell kitten which obviously needed attention. Bloody hell when Karen's not bringing home waifs and strays the cats are!

We'd done this before; the kittens' eyes were open and she was fully formed just a little small. I warmed some milk with water and fed it using an eyedropper. I wrapped her in a small blanket and she was soon asleep. I assumed it was a she, she looked so flipping pretty. I had just settled down when my phone pinged a message from Karen, could she do a visitation. I replied that I couldn't stop her but tomorrow night would be better, she came back saying she'd be there at about 5:00 o'clock. I asked if she was Ok after the visit to the psychiatrist? I got a, "managing, thank you for asking."

I fed the cats and the new kitten bits of my fish that I didn't eat, I wasn't that hungry. I resumed my thinking with two cats curled up in front of the fire and a small bundle of fur in my hand, she was that small. Looking around I felt there was something missing.

I must have fallen asleep where I was because it was cold and dark when I woke up, and there was a small face looking up at me from the blanket in my lap and making a soft little meow noise. She wanted feeding again.

I managed a few hours of sleep and, in the morning, phoned the vets and popped down with the kitten. It was a she and quite healthy apart from being malnourished. The vet said just to keep her warm and fed and she'd be okay, she was only about five or six weeks old, too young to be neutered yet so keep her indoors. Good job I had 2 girls at home and not a Tom cat.

I'd forgotten about Karen's planned visitation so I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard the key in the door just after 5:00 o'clock. I thought I'd better go and make some tea whilst she played with the girls. When I walked back into the living room a sight met my eyes.

Karen stood there, her hair was parted in the centre, her makeup Immaculate but subtle. She was wearing her Macintosh, and I could see the boots disappear underneath. "I want you to do your ex-wife a favour, this is for me, but I know you'll like it too, but as I said, this is mainly for me. You will be helping me and maybe yourself as well." She dropped her Macintosh and she was wearing her underbust corset, thigh-length boots and stockings. She turned round, the sides of the corset didn't meet and there was a piece of the soft white rope that we used for our bondage games tucked in there. She looked at me over her shoulder. "I can't get it tight enough, will you tighten it so both sides meet, I want a 24 inch waist. Then you can use the rope that's there to do whatever you wish."

Bloody hell, all thoughts of the cats and the kitten went right out of my head. And the small head started making itself noticed.

I did as she asked, I removed the rope and draped it round my shoulders, it was a bit of a struggle but I got the corset done up as she wished. She looked at me over her shoulder and then placed her elbows together as close as she could with her hands trying to caress her breasts. We had played these games before, she told me I could do whatever I wanted but she showed me what she wanted. I complied like I normally did and I wrapped the rope around her elbows, they almost met by the time I'd done. She knew I liked that corset, and tying her elbows together.

When I finished, she used her hands to unbuckle my belt, pull my fly down and release my cock out of my underpants. It wasn't hard for her to find, but hard to get out. She turned round, sank to her knees and took me in her mouth, she took me in as far as she could and bobbed her head rapidly. Bloody hell, she was sexy, she knew what I liked. She pulled herself off and started biting up the side of it gently.

She looked up at me and said "I think you should spank your ex-wife before you fuck her."

"Well, I'm not really into that sort of thing, as you should know"

"It's not for you, it's for me. I don't think I've been punished enough for allowing another man to take control of me and for what I did to you. So please spank me, as hard as you like."

"Safety word 'rhubarb'?"

"If you wish, I'm not going to use it."

I sat on the settee and she immediately laid herself across my lap.

"Go on, do it." She said looking over her shoulder at me, so I did, one slap on one cheek of her backside, it made a nice sound.

"Stop pussyfooting around, do it properly." So I did, on the other cheek harder. "That's better, now get on with it."

I gave her several more slaps, the cheeks of her backside were getting very red, so I eased off. That got me another withering look over her shoulder, "For fucks sake, get on with it, spank me, I want to be punished, not bloody sympathised with." I think she was getting a bit grumpy with me.

For some unknown reason that annoyed me, sympathy! If anybody was due sympathy it was me; not her. So, I started again and let her have it until my hand was stinging, she was crying, tears were pouring out of her and dripping onto the carpet, I stopped, I couldn't do anymore.

"Colour?" I said to her gently.

"Green you fucker now get on with it." She shouted at me through the tears, her backside was bright red, my hand hurt, my arm hurt and I just couldn't hurt her anymore. She may need it, but I just couldn't do it. I untied her elbows and lifted her off my lap and placed her on the settee, she immediately screamed and slithered onto the floor and I laid her on her front. I'd put her onto her backside and she couldn't sit on it. I undid the knots of the laces holding a corset together then went to the kitchen to get a cold wet towel. She was still crying but she screamed when I placed a cold towel on her backside. I didn't think tea would solve this situation, so I went and got a bottle of beer for me and a bottle of wine for her.