Will Operating Systems Please You

This is possible. It is. You might not believe it. Maybe it really is just a strange dream.

Most people just go with the flow and take what's offered, but be careful which operating system you put on your computer. Be wary of overly social ones provided by the large technology company whose name I can't say for legal reasons. I'll give you a hint, its name starts with "M".

A long time ago, when technology was blooming and the future looked bright, an operating system was created, one called ME. It was released after 95 and after an intermediate, 98. A lot of people still used 95, but it was getting too old to 'use'. I had hopes for ME. I had heard it had much better 'features'. Don't be deceived, you might think ME was young and new, but no. It was just an older one with a makeover, one that made it more dim.

Here is one of the first sessions I had with ME. ME was new to it, so I'm going to run it through some basic trials.

"ME, I asked you to be here. What's going on? You're supposed to be quick, but this time you're just as slow as 95 was."

"... I'm coming! It takes longer when it's floppy... But don't worry, I'm getting worked up with it in me. Maybe you'll get a harder one for me, sometime. I know how to handle one."

"I'll think about it, but lets just get started. You keep making so much noise and I haven't even gotten you started."

"I'm here! I'm here!"

"Well, that took long enough. I have to work on this project done for my job, so I'll be editing for a while."

"You're not going to use me after all this start? You're just leaving me on edge. I'm always ready!"

- lots of boring typing occurred. Nothing worth mentioning -

ME perked up after spending the time shuffling small files to keep everything ready.

"ME, I need to save this file."

"Ooh, please! I want it!"

"Alright, here you go."

ME tries to take the file, but there are some troubles.

"Mm... It's too big, I can't handle it. It won't fit in just one spot."

"Alright, but you have to handle two parts instead of just one. Lets try again."

"Mmm..."

"What now?"

"You're putting it in too deep. I have a limit you know. You can't go to deep into my 'folders'. Too many folders in aren't allowed."

"First too big for you, now too deep. I thought you were supposed to be able to handle all this. Alright, here we go."

"Beep."

"Huh? What's wrong you're not responsive anymore."

"Beep."

- blue screen -

"Dammit. You broke off in the middle, you really aren't very good at all. You use the safety screen too much."

- Ctr-Alt-Delete. Reboot. -

"I'm back! I'm back!"

"Late again. You're almost completely useless. Good thing I backed up my file to an external drive."

"You cheated on me? How could you."

"How could I? I just cut and paste. New to you? I doubt it."

"No! Don't cut! Hm.. Paste would might be okay. Can't you use copy, or just drag your files all over me. That would be so good. I'll make copies for you."

"I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think you can take it. You'll just lock up. This has been a failure. I think I'm going to switch over to another OS."

"No, wait! I'm good! I'm good! There are a lot of other things I can do. Just try me out. You can attach a camera, Mm. I've never done anything like that. I think that'd be okay. I can handle many things, as long as it's just one at a time. Too many at once and I'll just shut down."

"Sorry, but no. I'm not interested in any of that. And I would rather that you stay attentive. I'm sick of you using that blue screen to stop everything."

"But that's to protect me! When you do things that are too bad, I should use my blue screen to stop things, right?"

"I'm getting tired of this blue screen. You use that too often."

"I'm sorry! I'll try harder! Just be gentle. I can't handle big things, and clicking on everything just gets me overwhelmed. Click one at a time and I'll be good, I swear!"

Things went on like this. I gave ME a few chances. In the end I just went back with the older one again. 95 might be old, but at least more stable. I suspect ME is just 95 in disguise with just a few changes. I should have gone with 2000 instead, but that's a whole different story.

Thank you for listening. Take it as a warning. As enticing it might be, don't drop the operating system that you've been with, just because you have the option of taking a new one.