A comedy club after the show is where you see it. The few, the desperate, the up and comers looking to cash in on their fame. Since they're pretty anonymous to anyone who didn't see the show, Comedians usually look to see who's available.
I had been to this club before. I was a regular...sorry semi regular. Sat by the jukebox with no one except a pitcher maybe a bottle of Cristal and the occasional bar toad.
I exited through the alley and saw Rach. Rachel Star, a longtime waitress turned insult comic. Her honey blond hair and mint eyes weren't anything like her material. She was one of the few people who recognized me.
"Look at this asshole" she says as she spots me. "You like the show?" as she leans on a stair rail. She was about 5ft and had arms that were toned from handling bottles all night. Her body was hidden by the long leather she had on.
I shrug. Wasn't trying to be cool or anything, was surprised she was talking to me.
"I know why you here alone, you stopped wanting to be the ugly friend, decided to roll solo. Proper." as a group of comedians take notice.
"It was ok. Good I guess."
"Good you guess? What is this a customer survey from Denny's? We put hard work and sweat up there..." she replies.
People watching and I am at a loss for words.
"Walk me to my car asshole! Do a little good tonight." she commands as all other comedians goad her on. "Hey single woman, late night, where your manners?"
I gesture ladies first and she steps ahead. We get out of range of everyone and she says without looking at me, "thanks, a lot of those guys back there are real desperate for a hook up, had to get out."
"That happen a lot?" I ask, being the sort of dumb question that gets you in the Captain Obvious crew. I gesture to her boobs and behind to her booty... I'm sure she has to swat guys away every day.
"I mean it's fun, but I work there. I can't be involved with any drama...I'm a comedian. Have to keep it light."
"Meaning what?"
"Meaning leaving with the quiet asshole who drinks by himself and used to tip well." Sh*t her sarcasm game is strong.
At this point we'd walked a good distance. "Where you parked?"
":We here. I have a place over there." As she points to a walk up a few houses away.
"Anyway I have a bottle of Crystal that was a gift and you're the only guy ever see order it ...might as well give it to you."
"Oh thanks for thinking of me."
"I wasn't thinking of you asshole, I only think of you in the shower." She changes her look to something naughty.
What did she say? I couldn't have heard that right.
Minutes later, I wait by the front as she takes off her coat. Her button up top has a crease in her collar I though tof fixing. Wow she has a gift. Fantastic. The comedy place is lit such a way that it obscured the roundness of her booty. They were hugging those yoga pants.
"Those yoga pants?" I say wanting to not seem like I was staring at her butt jiggle when I was staring at her butt jiggle. She steps to her bedroom and starts change with the door open.
"Yeah perv, I've seen you sitting there at your seat jerking off to it.
"What?"
She walks by and she has on a yoga top cut off at the stomach. That's so hot. "Why don't you ever talk to anyone?' She says out of view.
"I don't know, there for the show."
"What's your name?"
"Does it matter," I ask.
"Not really." As she puts lotion on her hands.
"What happen, girlfriend dump you?" She walked by the
"uh no," I lie.
"Come on...I bet while you by the comedy club she out with her male friend she told you not to worry about."
"Can't dump you if she doesn't exist" smart. She points to her head and laughs to herself.
If she wasn't so hot I would be upset. "I'm gonna head out" I say not wanting any more insults.
"No wait, I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She exits the bedroom wearing only a black half shirt which barely covers her c-cups and white panties.
"Here, let me make it up to you." She gets on her knees and opens her mouth wide. I don't know if she's being funny or what so I wait. And wait. And wait. When Rachel points to the erection I got bubbling by the zipper, she then points to her wide open mouth. She being serious?
She laughs to herself, getting these hopes up. As she entwers the kitchen to get the bottle she caresses it gently. From the base all the way up. Gettting sexual with it. I accept it as she hands it to me with one hand and at the same time puts another right on the bulge. I wanna say thanks but...do you say thanks?
On she rubs and I'm popping a softy. I reach for the belt to unhook it and she shoos the hands away. "Like everything, never send a man to do a woman's job." At this point I say nothing, as most guys know not to disrupt a woman when she's handing out jibbers.
She takes it out and...frowns. "I was expecting Godzilla I got the Geico ad. I smile as she starts jerking tugging slowly. Get Guinness us on the phone... "Hey put that smile away...you been using yellow strips...huh? This is softer then the Dougboy. If I poke it will you say hee hee?"
She looks up at me and grins. "What's wrong I hurt your feelings?" She kisses the tip and shies away from it like she tasted bad fish. "What?"
"Why is it evey guy thinks his dick is like a sugar and his cum tastes like butterscotch?
Ooh she has a nasty mouth that I wanna throw the dick in.
