The Auction

This is another of those yarns I was told while serving our country in the military forces, shunning and unshunning, learning how to fire a rifle, and so on.

Back in those days, there wasn't a lot of evening entertainment, so the wet 'other ranks' mess was the place to be until chuck out time, usually around 9.00pm.

I heard a lot of yarns and stories during my time, and so I bring them to you now, dear reader, in the hope that you get a laugh or even mild amusement, from them.

It fits into the 750 word category.

Comment if you wish, or not.

Vote if you wish, or not, but I'd really like you to.

{.....}

The Auction

The man and his wife were at the Royal Easter Show on the chair lift, looking around them, when the man spotted the cattle auction pens.

I want to see the cattle auction, so we'll go there when we got off this thing.

"Yes dear," said his wife, are you looking to get another bull this year?"

"Maybe," he replied, "I'll see what the market is offering before I decide."

They walked through the cattle section, when they heard the auctioneer call the lot number and a description of a young bull.

"Ladeez and Gennulmen, the animal that stands before you is three years old, bred from Grand Australasian cattle stock from northwestern Australia. This animal has been bred 10 times in the last three months, and previous progeny is now passing through Australasian show judging circuit on their way to Champion status.

Those animals are also being used in the breeding programs on the farms and stations of their owners.

Who'll start the bidding......."

The woman nudged her husband and coyly whispered, "Ten times in three months, huh, must be a bit of a stud, eh?"

The man ignored his wife, intent upon the auction.

The bull, sold, was led out of the ring, and another bull brought in.

The auctioneer called out, "The animal that stands before you is five years old, bred from Grand Australasian cattle stock from north Queensland. This animal has been bred 25 times in the last six months. His progeny includes several Champions, State Grand Champions, and three Australasian Grand Champions."

The woman nudged the man again, this time saying, "25 times huh. In the last six months. Must be a real stud, wouldn't you say, Dear."

Again, the man did not comment, just looked at his wife and said nothing.

They watched the auction for a little while longer, and then they wandered off to look at other sections of the animal show ground. They saw champion rams, and champion ewes, champion pigs, champion goats, and even more cattle.

"I didn't know that goats were bred to be champions" the wife asked.

"Well," her husband replied, "Goats are beginning to appear more and more on the menus of Indian restaurants, Halal restaurants, and so on. I suppose it stands to reason that breeders would want champion stock to increase their herds and flocks, I guess."

The wife looked at him and them, and agreed, "Yeah, I guess so."

They walked to the cake and bread display and the wife noted that her Aunt Mabel had some bread, and some scones, entered this year.

In the distance, they heard the auctioneer's voice call out, "Ladeez and Gennulmen, we'll take a break for an hour, I'll see if I can find my voice somewhere, and we'll resume at 1.30 pm sharp."

The assemblage broke up and the participants headed off to other parts of the grounds, some towards the lunch marquees, some to the beer tents, and some with kids in tow to Side Show Alley, and the stalls where for a measly five dollars you might, just might win a stuffed toy worth a dollar.

The man and his wife bought a sandwich each and made their way to the display halls and looked at the various cakes, scones, breads, that were on show.

"I wonder which ones are Aunt Mabel's?" the wife ruminated, "And why are they all numbered?"

"You know why the exhibits are numbered?" asked the husband. "So that no one knows until after the judging who's entered what. Not even the judges know who's entered what to prevent any skullduggery. You would be surprised at what some people will do to win a prize you know."

Time ticked on, the man pointed out to his wife that the auction was about to start again, so they walked quickly back.

Just as they found a place near the auctioneers stand, they heard, "Ladeez and Gennulmen, the animal that stands before you is 10 years of age, in its prime, and one of the few overall Grand Champion stud bulls of our time. This bull was bred 50 times last year, and so far this year has been bred 30 times. Who'll start the bidding....?"

The wife turned to her husband and said mockingly, "80 times in the last 15 months, eh. You can't even do that."

The husband looked his wife, and said, "Yeah, but you do know, don't you, that it's not the same bloody cow."