Having taken into account all of the feedback from my previous story, 'A Marriage Surprise Conclusion', where the main concern was a lack of sex scenes I've realised that trying to tell a sexy story was a terrible mistake. Therefore, I present to you:
The Adventures of Nick Beard: All Sexy, All the Time
'And that,' the pudgy fingers wrote quickly, sticking to the keys briefly with each forceful tap, 'is why Roxxii is not actually attractive. Her implants are too large and uneven, while her pinched waist is unnatural, especially since her weight increase. No right-minded Alpha would go for anyone who looks like that.'
Pressing the enter key, Nick Beard smiled as his words appeared upon the forum wall, yet he took no time to admire the shitstorm that would undoubtedly occur, instead jumping to a different account in the same forum and commenting about the same porn actress.
'Roxxii desperately needs to increase her implant size,' he began, 'and she must do something about her waist, as she's put on some weight. She needs to lose weight or else she's gonna look like a fucking whale...'
Nick continued for a little while as the expected shit storm occurred, with some hardcore fans threatening death upon both of his alter-ego's, depending on their own opinion of the matter. Some colourful words were used and the admins (eventually) were forced to use the banhammer to keep things calm and civil.
Giggling away to himself, his chins wobbled freely as Nick felt pride in trolling such easy prey. Cucks, the lot of them. If they didn't want to be made fun of they shouldn't be on the internet.
He debated having a wank, maybe even to Roxxii, seeing as he'd not actually watched any of her stuff and it might not be too bad, but seeing as he needed to piss, he decided to wait until afterwards.
Standing up took some effort, his flab caught in the arms of his gaming chair, before brushing off Cheeto dust onto the pants he was wearing and making his way upstairs. The door from his room, actually a converted basement, led straight up to the kitchen. Without giving a damn who was out there, he opened the door at the top of the stairs with a bang.
"Hello... dear!" His step-mother said somewhat breathlessly, "how are... you... today?"
The pauses as she spoke were because she was currently being fucked bent over the kitchen counter by Elba, their twenty-five-year-old black neighbour. Mrs. Beard, or Mom as she was also known, had the same appearance as many mothers. simultaneously sexy and voluptuous, yet also innocent and buttoned up, while seemingly in her late fifties while also barely being out of her teens.
Because this wasn't the real world, this was the world of Nick Beard, and in his world porn logic ruled, so all Moms were free use. This meant that Elba made particular use of Mom, coming around at least once a day, his big black cock pounding against Mom's pussy relentlessly until, as if it was rehearsed, he removed himself from Mom who smartly knelt and took a thick load on her face mere seconds before release.
"I'm alright Mom," Nick sighed, ignoring what was happening as he headed to the stairs, "just going the toilet."
"Okay dear," Mom spoke cheerfully as she attempted to push out every last drop of cum from Elba's cock, "I'm making sloppy Joe's later."
"Sloppy Mom's more like," Elba's joke followed Nick up the stairs, yet he didn't react. Why bother? This was just how things were. Mom's were free use and your black neighbours always came round and cucked the husband. Porn logic.
On the landing the bathroom was the furthest door from the stairwell, yet even before then Nick could hear a familiar, wet, buzzing noise.
"Oh fuck..." somebody moaned from the room on his right, "oh fuck yes!"
Walking past, Nick saw his step-sister, Fanny, masturbating with the door, and her legs, wide open. When she heard a noise her eyes opened wide, her mouth in an O of shock.
"Nick!" She cried pitifully, "you shouldn't be intruding on my privacy!"
"Then close the door," Nick answered wearily, used to his stepsisters ways.
Pouting, Fanny looked upset.
"I can't believe you've interrupted me! You'll have to come here and fuck me so I can cum faster!"
Closing the door, Nick rolled his eyes in dismay. Why couldn't his stepsister just accept that, because she wasn't Blonde, five foot tall, with exact measurements of 38-24-38 he just wasn't going to be attracted to her. I mean, 5'2, 34-28-34 and Brunette? Eurgh, no thank you.
He told himself that it wasn't his fault that he had standards. I that that if it was the other way around and women wouldn't accept him for who he was then they were obviously just a shallow bitch. It was nothing to do with the fact he was three hundred pounds, five foot six and with unkempt facial hair that would reject him, it was definitely them.
Finally reaching the toilet, Nick shut and locked the door before dropping his pants and boxers. Standing very close to the toilet, he held his short penis and let the urine flow.
As he peed, he looked through the window and observed the neighbourhood, or at least Mrs Honkers place and part of the street. He was happy to see Mrs Honker on her knees in the kitchen sucking on the cock of who he assumed to be the plumber, what with the logo on the van parked in her front drive. That was right and proper and, about six fifteen, he'd be back up to watch her fucking the pizza delivery man.
Finishing his piss, he didn't bother cleaning his hands, instead heading straight downstairs past his sister's room. Even though she'd thrown her door open again and was once more filling her cunt with buzzing plastic he walked past without looking. It was just was stepsisters did.
Mom and Elba had now moved to the lounge, Mom's eyes focused upon her soaps as she sat on the sofa, bouncing on Elba's big, thick cock almost automatically, yet Nick again ignored it and headed outside, heading to the shops to grab more energy drinks and Doritos.
Walking through the neighbourhood Nick was pleased to see all the variations of normal life, with multiple MILF's all eyeing up their gardeners, all of whom, despite it only being about fifteen degrees, had their tops off to show off their muscular frames. As he stared into people's lounges, none of whom seemed to possess curtains, he watched as impossibly tall and muscled men were practically lifting barely-eighteen-year-olds onto their dicks. No one batted an eyelid if they saw him. It was just life.
Yet, moving into the main street proper he was horrified to see a man and a woman actively engaged in an activity he considered deplorable.
They were talking! And Holding Hands! BUT NOT FUCKING!
Nick Beard was incensed. Such behaviour in public! Luckily, two co-eds walking along the street restored his faith in humanity.
"Excuse me," spoke an attractive blonde, wearing a white top tied around her waist, her bra on show yet clearly too small for her shapely breasts which were threatening to escape, followed up with a pair of daisy dukes, "but me and Natasha are having an argument, and we're hoping you can settle it."
"Jess," her brunette friend sighed which caused her own breasts to heave from the movement as she wore an almost identical outfit, "here, believes that she can give better blowjobs than me. I don't believe her, but her boyfriend agrees. Can we blow you and you tell us who's better?
Agreeing with a nod, the two fell to their knees, completely ignoring the hard concrete as they pulled Nicks pathetic pecker out of his pants, yet gasped and admired it as if it were impressive. Jess was the first to start, immediately taking Nick into her mouth and engulfing him for about thirty seconds. She would have carried on if not for Nick cumming about ten seconds earlier, but instead she made do with swallowing every drop.
"My turn," Natasha said eagerly, elbowing her friend out of the way, a thin trail of cum following Jess' mouth before it dribbled down her chin and onto her breasts. Ignoring this, Natasha took the cum covered dick in her mouth without any sign of concern although, about thirty seconds later, due to a lack of a refraction period due to porn logic, Nick immediately came again, although Natasha managed to remove him in time so he could shoot a single spurt of cum onto her face.
"So," they demanded while Natasha lazily spread the cum across her face, staring directly into Nick's eyes as she did so, "who was better?"
"Natasha, definitely," he confirmed, Natasha celebrating by kissing his cheek while Jess sulked.
"Oh, thank you! You must let me take you out for dinner," Natasha said as she pressed her voluptuous chest against Nick.
"No thanks," he replied looking the insanely gorgeous college student up and down, taking in her huge, perky breasts, her model-good looks and smooth thighs, "you're not my type." With that, he did up his trousers and carried on to the supermarket as if nothing had delayed him.
