Third installment in the Texting Jokes series. Just some dudes being rude, or at least uncouth. Mostly anal stuff. But not all is as anal as it is butt-cracked up to be.
Joke 18
Let us begin with something cheesy and not at all anal. (Response to one of those Wally World memes)
You're so ugly they gave you a free sky diving coupon...
... redeemable only on the International Space Station or the one-way flight there.
Joke 19
Para bailar la cula
Se necesito una poca de gracia
--- La Bamba (director's cut), inspired by Ritchie and Donna's first date
[author's note: For those that don't know espanol, la cula is a feminized version of el culo. Think anal. And for those that know Spanish—the mistake is on purpose to make it rhyme.]
[A moment of silence for 'The day the music died'... ... ... Thank you, Don McLean.]
Joke 20
Getting old sucks.
My girlfriend really loves homemade jewelry.
So, I tried to make her a pearl necklace.
But all I could produce was a pearl bracelet...
... So, to make it up to her, I made matching anal beads.
Joke 21
Do not make the same mistakes I made.
If you ever decide to do your own Brazilian Butt Wax, follow these
don't
instructions:
Don't use scented candles to remove the wax.
If you do use scented candles, don't use the bacon scent.
If you do use the bacon scent, don't go to the vet, the pet store, or the dog park.
If you do go to these places, don't wear a kilt.
If you do wear a kilt, don't take a selfie and send it in a group text.
Joke 22
From our three greatest Fill-o Popsicles:
(China, Sage)
Confucius
say
, "Never stick butthole against gloryhole bigger than butthole."
(Nepal, Enlightened One)
The Buddha says, "Never put butthole against gloryhole no matter size of either hole."
(Alabama, Mama's Boy)
Forrest Gump said, "I'm not a smart man, but I know what a gloryhole is."
[Philosophy 101]
Joke 23
Response to a meme of a young lady farting in a hot tub (joke has nothing to do with the meme).
I almost forgot about the anal Joke of the Day. I will save it for tomorrow.
