So Feekin Shy

Chapter 1

Two mothers sat at a reserved corner window table in Meg's Coffee Shop engaged in earnest conversation about Muriel's son Archie.

Cathie said. "Muriel, I wouldn't worry about Archie being shy. I know he's almost nineteen but some teenagers, as well as males, take longer than others to indicate the coming of adult maturity."

"I realized that but the problem is, his shyness is selective. He's only shy of females and Dan and I don't believe he's gay. He just becomes tongue-tied and appears even backward when females are around, and he relates to Dan more naturally than he does to me. I'm worried that in not going out with females around his age, he'll miss out in having a smooth full-on connection in sex with females."

"My first recollection of emerging shyness occurred when he was seven and he began asking me not to come into the bathroom when he was in the bath. I remember being so shocked that tears began flowing as I though I was losing my boy at a far too young age. Dammit, he's so feekin' shy.

"Don't worry, Muriel. It will pass. An assertive female will soon take a liking to him and she'll have the pants and underpants off him before he knows it and he'll be excitedly thinking what now?"

"You're hallucinating, Cathie."

"Okay, perhaps I am, love. Here's what I'd do. Does he drink liquor?"

"Yes, he likes beer and before dinner he usually has a can of beer with Dan, and Lucy and I have a gin."

"Then try this one night when only you and Archie are home for dinner. Offer him a second can and insist he accepts, and after he's had a few sips, begin talking to him quietly about your concerns that he appears unusually shy of females. Importantly, don't allow him to back off but at the same time avoid bullying him to engage. Keep at it and he'll begin to participate as he relaxes, especially if you keep relaxed and really appear to be chatting rather than lecturing him about this hiccup in his development."

"It can't be that easy, Cathie."

"No, it's probably not but who knows? Just talking about it, probably for the first time, could steer him on to the normal course for engaging in balanced male to female relations. Just think, all you have is the opposite that some mothers have with their young bucks who appear to becoming sexual maniacs and are fucking any female around similar age who shows an interest in their son."

"Omigod, Cathie. That puts my worry into a proper perspective. Thanks, love."

"That's my pleasure, and if your efforts don't bear fruit, take Archie to a specialist consultant."

* * *

Archie wiped his lips with the back of his hand and waited until Muriel had put down her glass after sipping gin.

"What is this mum, one of those mother-son talks we've had from time to time."

"I simply said most of the lads you hang about with now appear to have girlfriends and I asked to you have a girlfriend yet."

"You mean for the purpose of having, you know..."

"Meaning sex?"

"Yeah, well the answer is no."

"Why not?"

"Fuck mum, get off my back. I'm at tech training school now, not at kindergarten."

"Don't you dare use the f-word..."

Muriel caught herself, remembering the advice she'd received about not becoming aggressive.

She faked a laughed and said to Archie that she didn't realises he used such a word.

"I've used it for a while, and sometimes the word cunt, but openly is casual conversation when with the guys. Do you still fuck, mum?"

Muriel felt the surge of anger and felt like yelling 'You foul arsehole' but never spoke to her children in that manner. She released her clenched fists and attempting to keep her voice calm said, "I'd like it most nights but these days your father rarely wants it more than twice a week."

"Wow mum, is that you speaking," her son chuckled. "Wait till I tell the lads..."

He stopped, seeing his mother bristle.

"Mum, keep calm. That was a big tease. We are having a confidential chat because you are apparently worried that I'm not sniffing around babes like most but not all of the lads. But it will come, and so will I."

"Then you can ejaculate?"

"Yes, mom and the opaque fluid is sticky and thick. Confirm that with Lucy, but don't..."

"What has your older sister got to do with it? Omigod, you're are not feekin' her, are you?"

"No mum. In recent months she becomes horny at times and when it becomes too much for her she comes into my room at nights with her toy and I use it on her. We have a pact, no kissing, no sucking each other's nipples, not fingering butts, just straight ejaculations. I use her dildo according to her instructions while she watches me masturbate and that does the trick; she usually gushes when I begin to shoot over her tits."

"Omigod, I think I'm going to faint."

"Rubbish, mum. Stop faking it. You'll be relieved somewhat that in getting my sister off like that I obviously can't be seriously gay. Admit it."

"Yes, I am relieved to that extent. But you and Lucy have given me..."

"Mum, stop making mountains our of molehills. Young people don't think so rigidly as your generation did. What Lucy talked me into doing was something we both regarded as a reasonable solution for her problem. But it's probably almost over. She is going to sleep over at her boyfriend's place this weekend and she intends sneaking into his bedroom after midnight and handing Rex a condom and saying something like, "Get on with it Romeo, you have been rubbing that thing of yours up my leg for weeks. Either do it tonight or I'll dump you and find a guy who can't wait to plunge into me."

"Omigod, my daughter is a disgusting slut."

"Bullshit, mum. Lucy is practically as white as snow. She has just become proactive for her own sexual satisfaction, just like most females similarly aged twenty are. She pushed me into relieving her sexual tension and now she's about to push her boyfriend into attending to her need in a practical manner. And remember, this evening you gave me a second can of beer and then began pushing me for information about the level of my sexuality."

"Please get me another gin, darling."

Archie walked over and gave her a full kiss on the lips and pressed his fingers into her left breast heavily.

"Omigod," Muriel yelped, wiping her lips with a hand. You can't do that, I'm your mother."

"It was done as a stark reminder of these words, mother: Use it or lose it."

"You and dad were probably once lively lovers in bed, and what are you now? Perhaps engaging in the same old thing, year after year, increasingly less frequently and with decreasing variety. If you want a more robust sex life, mother, go after it and perhaps you'll need to retrain dad a bit. For example, tonight allow him to find you on the bed, nude and spread-eagled, fingering your twat with the thumb and forefinger of your other hand massaging a nipple. And then a couple of nights later in bed you should raise the subject of anal sex for greater variety."

"Omigod, as possibly still a virgin, how can you advise me like that? I can't get my mind around it."

"I'll explain when I return with a double gin for you."

Chapter 2

Two mothers sat at a reserved corner window table in Meg's Coffee Shop, engaged in earnest conversation about Muriel's son Archie.

"I'm pleased that you no longer have worries about the sexuality of your son, Muriel."

"Yes, Cathie and it's such a relief. And with me shedding my tension over that, things are happening for our family. Dan and I have upped our sexual activity, thanks to some tremendously useful advice that I received."

"In taking a more relaxed attitude toward sex since Dan and I are going at it with more variety and vim with the enthusiasm of aging rabbits, I'm allowing Lucy to have her boyfriend stay on a sleep over at our home this weekend and sent her practically over the moon when I suggested she might care to invited him to share her bed."

"Christ, love, that doesn't sound like you."

"No, and we all are capable of surprising ourselves and our friends. Now you may have a surprise for me, Cathie. In my heart-to-heart conversation with Archie, as you recommended, I learned while sipping my third gin, and this time a double one, that Archie lost his virginity to a female, an older woman who was known to her. He said nothing to identify her and said she began to molest him and burbling on about he needed to be set on the right course about sex and that he yelped when she squeezed his balls hard and then had his pants and underpants off before he knew it and began having her way with him, albeit with his increasing cooperation"

"I attempted to think of all the older females I knew who might be sex initiators and could only think of one. Cathie, was it you who took my son's virginity?"

Cathie's face momentarily turned white and then exploded into crimson.

She wondered whether to dash to the door or be a heroic bitch and face the consequences.

"Guilty," she confessed.

"Thanks for not lying to me. Someone had to be first and I lack the guts to fuck me own son to place him on the right road to sexual exploitation. I hope it was great for both of you, but please don't answer that."

"Can you forgive me, Muriel?"

"Yes of course, darling, Silly me, I should have thought of collaborating and paid you to do it for his and my mutual benefit."

"Now this is strictly between me and you, Cathie. When Archie told me that he and this unnamed woman had shagged, he disclosed he now has a predisposition to feek older women, which is why we never see him cavorting around with females around his age. Currently, after his lecturers at university end most days, before coming home Archie goes to the office of one of his senior lecturers and they undress and go for it on the couch in her office. She's fifty-two with enormous boobs.

"What!" gasped Cathie.

Muriel sighed and said yes, it was a big worry for her.

The End