Sixpence in Her… Shoe?

Base on a true story. I swear it really did happen!

Abdul

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Dave shifted the Buick into park and opened the door just as Melanie stepped out the front door. The sight took Dave's breath away: The cousin who shared his play-pen had grown into the most beautiful bride he'd ever seen. The term "decked out in satin and jewels" didn't adequately describe the dress that compressed her waist and forced her breasts to bulge to the brim of the scooped neckline. The translucent veil did nothing to hide her glowing blue eyes or her smile.

"Wow!" he said. "Mel, are you sure it's illegal for first-cousins to marry in this state? If it's not, how about you and me take off in the other direction?"

Melanie laughed out loud as she managed to get "I'm pretty sure!" out of her lips. Melanie's mother, Jennie, and Pearl, her sister, David's mother, were right behind her and equally amused. " 'Sides, Dave," Jennie quipped, "Gary 'd prob'ly hunt ya down an' kill ya both! Just deliver us t' the church!"

Dave opened the rear door and the two women assisted Mel into the seat. It wasn't easy with flowers in one hand, four petticoats and fifty yards of silk and lace around her, but eventually Jennie joined her in the rear and Pearl took the front passenger's seat.

As Dave pulled onto the highway Mel ran through a mental checklist: Something old, Grandma Nonnie's white gold locket around her neck, check. Something new, the gown itself, which, God willing, would be worn by her own daughter(s) some day, check. Something borrowed, the jeweled comb that held her blond locks behind her head, once worn by her older sister/matron of honor, check. Something blue, Gary's blue garter above her right knee, check. Got a sixpence in her shoe... oh, no!

"Momma," Mel gasped, "We forgot the sixpence!"

"Do we need to go back?" Dave asked.

"No! No," Jennie said, "we didn't forget it! We just forgot to put it in her shoe!" She reached for her purse and produced the 19th Century English coin that had blessed generations of brides in their family. "Here, Baby!" she patted her thigh, "put your foot up here on my lap!"

Mel did as she was told, only to see her mother's face drop. "There's nothing to hold it in!" she gasped when she realized the high-heeled white sandals would not keep the coin in place. "I'll have to get it in though the waist of your pantyhose!"

Dave turned his head to take a look, only to be slapped across his right shoulder by his mother. "Eyes front, boy!" she ordered, "Just drive." Pearl had released her seat belt and was on her knees leaning over the seat with a tooth-grinding smile on her face.

Jennie had pushed the petticoats up to Mel's lap and was fumbling for the elastic above her daughter's hip. Mel was half-way between grinning and crying over her situation. "Wha'samatter, Momma?" she grimaced.

"The corset's in the way!" Jennie whispered. "We'll have to start at the neck and work it down!"

Pearl snorted, still trying desperately not to laugh. The giggling between Pearl and Jennie was legendary in the family; if one started the other would be helpless to refrain. If Pearl laughed Jennie wouldn't be able to regain her composure before the service and it just wouldn't look right for the mother of the bride to roll on the floor laughing. To complicate matters, Mel was the most ticklish girl east of the Mississippi. Jennie was struggling to breath, suppress the laugh and work the coin under the lace all at once.

"Go over the bra, Momma!" Mel begged.

"Whoops!" Jennie said as she felt the coin slip from her finger tips. She pinched Mel's flesh trying to relocate it.

Mel's head was actually trembling as she started chuckling at the tickle. Holding her flowers in her right hand, she used the tips of her left hand's fingers to point the coin out to her mother under her right breast. There was no way she could stop giggling now.

Jennie began to giggle as she worked the sixpence out under the wire of her daughter's bra and then under the silk corset onto Mel's tummy and down to the waist of the white pantyhose. Mel's breathing as she giggled at the tickle complicated the situation and Jennie started to giggle despite her best effort. Pearl joined in and all three women were giggling while Dave's eyes shifted from the road to the rear-view mirror, where he could only see his mother's back.

The sixpence tried to take another detour inside Mel's pantyhose only to get caught in the blonde curls of her pubic hair, but her mother could now work through only a single layer of nylon while Mel held the petticoats out of her way. Still, Mel's flank was just as ticklish as her ribs and she could barely catch her breath as she laughed. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and her makeup was running with them.

Jennie wasn't aware of Mel's appearance, just totally consumed with her own laughter, trying to catch her breath as she worked the coin down Mel's leg. Pearl's body was shaking with laughter as well, adding to her son's confusion as the church came into view.

Jenny finally got the pence to the soul of Mel's foot, which was by far her most ticklish spot of all, and attempted to refasten the sandal as Dave parked at the front door.

Dave hopped out and opened the rear door, offering Mel his hand. Melanie gripped it tightly as she climbed out, still giggling, trying to catch her breath and find her balance on the high heels. The mothers were only slightly better composed, their makeup also smeared by tears. Pearl produced a handkerchief and reached under the veil to wipe Melanie's nose.

"Wait!" said the confused young man. "Mel, what the devil was goin' on back there?" he demanded.

"Cuz," said Melanie, "I can honestly say," she paused to breathe, "This is the happiest day of my life!" The wedding would be a few minutes late because all three women burst into loud laughter.