The story you are about to read is surreal. They involve characters you don’t know and love and an epic battle is fought between the forces of evil and sneaky evil. So grab your popcorn bag, loosen your belt buckles and grab a cold one, as without further adieu I bring you the classic story - The Sexorcist.
Our story begins somewhere in Hawaii where a so called innocent girl hereafter referred to as Chase has come down with what she thinks is a common virus. She returns home where she runs up to her bed (and no, a radioactive spider didn’t bite her if that’s what you were thinking). Anyways, after some time her mom seems to think that she is acting strange and goes into her room to check on her. What she sees inside this ghostly dark room is quite shocking. Written in blood upon young Chase’s walls is the word "Zuel".
"Chase darling come have some tea my dear", requests her mother half full of fear. In a gravelling chain smoker voice definitely with a demonic slant the terrified mother hears "Be gone Human. Chase is gone. Only I, Zuel rule this body".
The mother freaks and runs to her phone frantically calling 9-1-1. "Help. My daughter has been possessed by a demon called Zuel. What can you do? Hello...Hello...please don't hang up on me".
Suddenly the mother feels herself effortlessly being lifted by the back of her neck. She dares not turn to face that demonic being who has taken over her daughter. She hears Zuel speak to her "I have a job for you. I wish for you to bring over guys and girls to me intending to have sex and little will they know that I will eat their flesh raw. Do it now. Or you will never see your daughter again." Chase’s mother collapses on the ground, looks around and sees that she is alone. Was it a dream? She hears hunger groans from Chase’s room and sees drops of green slime around her feet.
Her task is clear. She must help her daughter even if others are to lose their life. If Zuel is appeased perhaps he/she/it will let her lovely daughter go. Seems logical and she goes and places an ad entitled “free sex” in the local newspaper.
A month drifts by as some 40 bodies have vanished which is fairly normal in Hawaii. Zuel's appetite has grown and the demon demands more. The mother freaking out realizes that she must do something and something fast.
While half a world a way...
"You know Professor Fred, I really appreciate the chance you've given me to do some extra credit work to get my degree in Sexorcistology. I mean you are by far the most leading expert on the subject", a young Bryan adds.
"Yes, Bry’, I am that and so much more. It is I who women come to when they are possessed of that fear factor concerning swallowing a man's cum. When I finish with them, they can swallow like the best of them and not miss a drop", notes Professor Fred.
"And for those frigid types?” reminds pupil Bryan.
"Yes. I can take those CEO workaholics and turn them into healthy productive nymphomaniacs. And of course I test my merchandise personally before letting it get back on the streets. You know Bry', there has yet to be a girl with a phobia that I've not been able to Sexorcise", replays the Fredster.
"Well life is good...” offers Bryan as the telephone suddenly rings.
"Hello...this is Professor Fred, Sexorcist extraordinaire. How can I be of service to you? Yes...Ah ha...Yes...Of course...that's what I'm here for...Excellent...so hold on a sec and talk with my assistant...” Professor Fred proceeds to pass the phone to his assistant. “Hey Bryan, seems there's some crazy mother in Hawaii on the line. Get her credit card number and book us first class. I have a group session needing nympho conversion in about 15 minutes and I want to take a shower first” Professor Fred tells his youthful assistant.
”No problem boss. Asian vegetarian on the flight?” Bryan offers.
”Naw...make it steak. Raw steak. I think we got a live one on our hands...” Professor Fred responds splitting the scene.
Soon...
”Hey, Professor Fred that was one rocking flight we had, but it seems you kind of went to the bathroom quite a lot. Something you ate?” Bryan tries to act witty for a change.
