Advertising My Toy

A humorous attempt to compete with all the toys women own.

It seems every girl has a toy these days so I thought I would advertise mine out, it hasn't been getting much use lately and it can't hurt to put it out there.

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My toy is tan color with a pink mushroom shaped head, It has a slight curve upward and would be perfect to target your g-spot while you are on your back. It is the most lifelike on the market and can be shared with your intimate girlfriends, but works best when it is your personal favorite. If you share it too much there might be unfortunate consequences that will have to be cleared up at the doctors' office.

It has authentic feeling balls for a very real effect. A neat feature of my toy is you can make it go from soft to hard with just a slight touch, tender kiss or with even your words or a seductive smile. It wakes up in the morning and sometimes forces itself on you so be prepared. If you sleep with my toy it might sometimes poke you in the back and it really needs to be washed every day.

My toy could unintentionally cause you to be a mother, so beware, use extreme caution if that is not the desired result. To remedy the problem slap a latex cover over my toy when it is excited or you can try to remove my toy at just the right moment but that is always risky.

It is the only toy on the market that will actually get excited as you get excited and shows that excitement by delivering a cream delight to either your mouth or pussy. It can also be sprayed on your chest or butt depending on how you use it. You never have to refill it and the natural spray feature works flawlessly but beware, it can sometimes catch you off guard. You can shave my toy but it will sprout hair again if that is your preference.

You can use it as you want but it has a mind of its own and will have its own way when aroused. No batteries required, just give it attention and it responds naturally, guaranteed to please you in multiple ways. It can be used for stroking or it works great for rubbing against you clit and teasing your slit. It has a mind of its own and will often stop pumping you at times and simply rotate around in you, doing a slow dance in you hoping to touch every part of your insides.

Sometimes it likes to slide between your breasts so be nice to my toy and give it soft kisses. It is easy to care for and eager to please, it will please in any way you can imagine and also has its own ideas to bring you pleasure. It is easy to put away but is always thinking about you and wants nothing more than your pleasure and loves any pleasure you choose to give it.

Spec: When we embrace, my toy stands straight up pointing at your mouth, the mouth it longs to be sucked by. If I pull it down to point it at your sweet pussy, the pussy it longs to fuck, it measures a little over 6 ½ inches and is the fat model. The mushroom shaped head is ideal for reaching those tough to reach areas and it is totally unique, the only one like it and made to perfectly fit you. If the PC muscles are activated it will twitch at your touch or when it is deep inside you, triggering ultimate pleasure.

It comes with hands that long to touch you all over and a mouth and tongue for erotic kisses or expert oral pleasure. Attached to a strong frame that responds to your touch and is sure to ignite thoughts of desire and passion. Your toy loves to tell you how beautiful you are and only wants to please you and you alone. It comes with a guarantee of caring intimacy unavailable with any toy on the market and passionate eyes that love to look deeply into yours, creating unexpected feelings of closeness and bonding.

Cost: Your toy loves to buy you dinner, dress up for best results. It will bring you roses when it starts to get familiar with you and likes to whisper sweet things in your ear. It can bond to you, so go slowly, if you seem to be a good fit be ready for some unexpected quirks. If you embrace your toy for what it is, it will love you passionately for a lifetime and care for you deeply. It might not work quite as well as it ages, although with a little patience, caring and Viagra it will be more than sufficient for your pleasure and it will always be there for you.