A Heck of a Lot Better Than Just Cookies and Milk
It was Christmas Eve and Santa Claus only had a few more stops before he could head his sleigh back to the North Pole for his long winters nap. For Santa the end wasn't coming fast enough. He was starting to think he wasn't going to be able to do this for too many more years. Those gifts that everybody wanted were getting heavier and heavier.
But the thing that bothered Santa the most was all those so-called treats people would put out for him. In years gone by people usually put out good treats for him to munch on but for some reason these days almost everything they put out tasted like shit. The treats left him feeling like he could puke any minute.
"One more house to go and then we don't have to worry about doing this shit for another year. If they leave me another rotton treat think I'm going to just shove it down their throats and see if they like what they're giving me. They probably wouldn't give some of that stuff to their dog.
Santa's elf handed him his pack of toys and helped out of the sleigh.
"This is a nineteen old girl's house." The elf said.
"Nineteen!" Santa exclaimed. "She's too dam old to have me bringing her gifts. Do you remember what we packed for her?"
"Mostly sex toys."
"Sex toys!" Santa laughed his dirty laugh of his. "Must be a horny a little bitch?" Well let's get this over with."
Santa slid down her chimney right into her living room. Once in the living room he saw the Christmas tree right in the middle of the room. He quickly got out her gifts and places them neatly under the tree.
When he was just about to take off he spotted a note and it read, "Santa, you do so much for everybody every year that I decided to give you a very special treat."
