It wasn't my fault I actually arrived at Midwick University in the Midlands the day the entire town went into lockdown because of coronavirus.
It was our first day on campus, a Friday. I was bright and earl, it wasn't even ten o'clock yet and there were a lot of people running around like blue-assed flies. Those of us who had been there early, as I had, had all carried our suitcases, backpacks, boxes of books and all our personal effects into the main hall. We had been assured at the reception desk that they were running a little late but that we would be allocated our rooms very quickly and then given help to carry our stuff. I did notice that there were piles of bedding, household furniture and kitchen paraphernalia dotted around the huge hall. I even saw piles of food and sleeping bags. They really were running late, I thought.
I had said a fond farewell to my parents at the entrance, I was pleased to see them go and was looking forward to meeting the guys with whom I would be sharing a dormitory this year. If we all got along well these would be my buddies for years maybe.
My parents were in a hurry to leave as well which is why I was so early. My father had a business meeting and invited mum along for a couple of days of R & R after his meeting. I think he expected her to be a little teary. As I am an only child this was going to be the first time I had left home and she was going to be as much on her own as I was. The only difference was that I was looking forward to it.
I joined a small queue of students after a lady put up a sign bearing the words 'Room allocations.'
She disappeared and then we waited, and waited, and waited.
An hour or so later, with the large room now getting busier, and the queues getting longer there was a booming noise from the Hall loudspeakers.
'Ladies and Gentlemen, new students, I must inform you that this University and indeed the whole town of Midwick, has been placed in quarantine due to the Coronavirus pandemic second wave. To ward off any signs of panic I can tell you that we will very quickly allocate you temporary accommodation, but that you will be expected to remain in there, with your allocated new roommates, for at least the next two weeks. We will supply food to the rooms, which may, I am afraid, not be up to the normal Campus catering standard, but will be free, and in due course we will start to deliver your education by a variety of digital devices. You are all bright, intelligent people and will realise that it is in your best interests to make the best of these difficult circumstances. I can assure you that it will have no bearing on the quality of your degree, and the staff and I, who are similarly quarantined, are confident that, with your co-operation, we can ride out this difficult time with little divergence from regular campus life. In the pack we are preparing for each of you at this very moment is a name and phone number of your personal, campus-experienced mentor. He or she may be a member of staff or a third, or fourth year student. I should point out at this stage that the campus gates have been locked, so no one else will be allowed in. Any students who were not here early will I am afraid have to go home and start their education digitally from there. Similarly, you who are already here will not be allowed to leave and we hope that at least for the first few days that you will be careful to keep your social distancing as much as possible. You will eventually no longer need this as you will 'bubble', firstly with your immediate roommates and eventually within your educational groups. Temperatures will be taken every two or three days, and any increase will mean you being moved to a new secure wing where we have a team of nurses and a doctor available.
I know that this is difficult for your first few days at Uni, especially after the last few months where your examination results were all delayed and changed and your school leaving ceremonies were all curtailed, but I am confident that these experiences will only make you more determined to succeed in furthering your education and getting a good job.
You will see that while I have been speaking there are four help desks that have been put up. Please join a queue at one of these desks and you will be allocated accommodation. I am afraid that you will not at this stage be receiving the halls or rooms that you were originally allocated but that you will now be allotted a bed in large, old I am afraid, dormitories which were last used in the in the boom years of the late 1960s.'
I joined a queue and was eventually given an envelope marked Chatsworth, which sounded quite grand. Chatsworth itself was a grand country Mansion, not that far from here. I was hopeful that the accommodation would resemble it. It transpired that all the dormitories were called after palatial estates. They would have been better off to name them 'Nissan Hut', or even 'Bus Shelter'. While we knew they were last used forty years ago, they were probably second hand prisoner accommodation originally from the second world war. They were undoubtedly quite smart then, and fit for purpose.
I got there to find a long dirty grey building with small windows and peeling paint. Opening the door I found three other students, who like me were staring around in unbelieving stupor.
There were about a dozen beds, mainly singles, some doubles. Each bed had a bedside cabinet, and most had a pillow and a couple of blankets lying on the bare mattress. The windows were bare, absolutely not a curtain in sight. Down one end there was a long table and a couple of stacks of chairs.
I looked up at the door I had come though. 'Chatsworth', it said. I looked at the other three.
'Wow.' I said. 'They must be joking.'
'Yes,' said one of the two girls. 'I am not sleeping in here.'
I suddenly realised who I had been listening to. One of two girls. Mixed accommodation. Surely not.
I looked again. They were both pretty though. Maybe things weren't so bad after all.
The other girl spoke next. 'I was here first, you think this is bad, go up to the door at the end and look at the toilet and shower block. I assumed that led to another dormitory, perhaps nicer ones for girls. Noooo. And then, when I saw him coming in,' she pointed to the other guy, who had long hair in a pony tail and was sporting a guitar, 'I realised it was mixed accommodation.'
While we were all still looking a little askance at each other another group of four arrived, three girls and a boy.
If this wasn't going to be joke I realised that perhaps I had better get myself a bed. I am quite tall, just under six foot, so automatically moved my suitcase towards one of the double beds.
I had second thoughts. Surely, they wouldn't expect us to share. I had third thoughts, after all I am a boy, and sex is never far from my thoughts. I looked at the girls, all five of them. 'Mmm.' I thought I would happily share with any of them. The truth is I had never been particularly confident with girls and I had probably never yet met one I wouldn't share with. After all I was still a virgin, a small problem I hoped to get rid of as soon as possible.
I wasn't that confident that any of the girls would want to share a double with me so kept on moving, walking past the double to put my suitcase onto one of the singles that had both a pillow and blankets. There was rush as other people saw what I had done and rushed to emulate me. Like me they ignored the doubles. I wondered whether, like Love Island, the doubles would be kept spare and used for dalliances?
'Philip,' I said putting my hand out to the girl who had chosen the bed next to mine.
'Don't get any ideas buster. I am not going to be here long enough for you to know my name, so you can get your mind right out of the fucking gutter now, fuck off and find yourself a bed further away. This is the girls end of the room.'
Not a good start I thought, but seeing one single bed still free a couple of beds further way, I upped and moved my suitcase. I was certainly intimidated, but if moving beds was going to make things easier, so be it. All eight single beds were now taken leaving just three doubles. Nobody was unpacking. A couple of people were on their phones, which I thought was a good idea. I would ring my mentor. I had his name, number and a small sort of CV describing him. A final, fourth year, student of Economics, which I was about to study as well. He answered after a couple of rings and I introduced myself.
'Nice to meet you,' he said. 'What can I do for you?'
I described broadly the problem, where we were, the mix of the sexes, the problem with the beds.
He laughed 'Chatsworth eh, I had a look around that block last year when a friend of mine, a science student, was hoping to turn that into an experimental hydroponics lab. He said that was all it was good for apart from pulling down. It was good for a hydroponic block because there was plenty of water available. Even in the walls when it rains. Have you seen the showers yet? You think the sleeping area is bad. Hoo hoo. Anyway, I would like to help but I am on my way home I am afraid. I arrived about eleven fifteen to find the gates locked and the announcement about quarantine, tacked to the them. You are on your own pal.'
Great, I thought. So much for my allocated mentor.
I got up and strolled through the door at the end to find toilets in an open room on my left and showers in a similar room on the right. It was unbelievable. That's when I wondered whether they were used for prisoners of war in the 1940s. There were no urinals nor screening round each of the toilets and the showers were just standpipes around the walls. No signs of curtains or any form of screening. I walked back laughing, and said to the room at large, 'You think this is bad, have you all seen the ablutions.'
