Hi my name is Professor Phyllis Pricilla Parker. Some of the facilities here call me Professor PP and I really resent it. They don't call Professor Stephan Herbert Ingram Thompson by his initials.
I am working on a medical dissertation on the male species that I and my colleague Professor Danielle Debra Dewater hope to publish in the local medical journal. Our study deals with the male genital, sub set the penis, subsub set uncircumcised, subsubsub set flaccid. Professor Danielle Debra Dewater is inspecting the subsubnsub set circumcised.
As you can suspect needing the subject to be flaccid can create some problems. The biggest problem is unwanted erections which create difficulties with the study. To solve this we have hired graduate students as assistances to insure the penis is flaccid during our examinations. Basically they, the assistance, bring the subject to a state of erection and then perform the steps necessary to cause an orgasm. Then we can complete the examinations without interruptions. Due to state laws the act of sexual intercourse is deemed unlawful between unmarried individuals.
So, to prevent that no breech of our public morals takes place we insist the all of the steps necessary to insure the penis is flaccid for my portion of the study is done by masturbation. Fellatio if the erection does not respond quickly to the manual method in a timely manner. Let me promise you that only these two processes are being used. I have personally observed these functions, merely to insure that proper steps are taken to prevent any misunderstandings take place.
You would think that if intercourse between the unmarried was being outlawed that the other choices would be also. I happened to look into that strange omission and it appears that the senate of our state was reluctant to discuss these particular acts. Suggestions were made that because several important members of the senate had certain friends that may have enjoyed these hobbies it was never discussed in committee.
Sorry, I digress. I was explaining some of the processes we undertake to insure that all the steps we are taken to have unexpected conditions upset our study.