Kinkmaster Ssn 01 Ep 01 Pt 01

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Author: This is a parody of a UK game show that didn't do very well in America but I enjoyed it a lot. I took way too long for this chapter, it was quite hard to show the same format of the show using just words. Also may be hard for the readers if they never see that show before.

Anyway, just a way of fulfilling my own fantasy. I hope you do enjoy it, there is not a lot of sex in this one, I don't believe there will be loads of those because that's just another sex-filled story, which is fun too, I read them all the time, but this is more just a sexy parody of that show.

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The curtains open; in a large TV studio, about 100 people are in the audience, watching eagerly as the program is about to begin.

On the stage 5 people of different gender, age and color are seated on the left side of the stage, on regular-size chairs with velvety cushioned seats and back-support.

On the right side of the stage sat one ruggedly handsome man in his 50s with salt-and-pepper hair and beard, who wore a relaxed-fit suit. He is quite well-built and muscular, sitting on a throne-like large chair with a few sexy figures sculpted on it.

Next to him, a woman in her 30s, who is kind of nerdy looking but with some nice features, has golden blonde hair tied into a bun. She sat on a chair also with various sexy sculptures on it but significantly smaller than the one the man sat on.

She wears thick-rim round glasses. She similarly wears a black suit but in much slimmer cut, one that shows off her slim body and perky 34C.

The man starts speaking in a commanding and confident voice, "Hello everyone, my name is Geoff Draconis, and welcome to Kinkmaster, a game show that shamelessly rip off another popular game show. But that is not the only thing that we rip off in this version, some clothings, make-up and their facade of a personality might also get shredded throughout the show. But most importantly, their pride." He speaks with a playful tone and the audience are "encouraged" to laugh a little, even though it wasn't that funny.

"5 people, who we are struggled to call them celebrities, but because they are well-known in certain circle and it works for our demographic, are going to battle for this,"

As he gestures, the camera pans to an object next to Geoff, it's a golden statue of a penis that is seemingly 9 inches long and the audience has given a more genuine "woo" than the laugh they gave earlier.

"That's right, it is a golden-model of my penis, that is made to scale. And let me tell you, I was only having a semi when they did the mold. After the 5 episodes, if we don't get cancelled halfway through, we will decide who out of these 5 perverts are the kinkiest based on a series of kinky tasks we set for them. And to judge their pervert-ness is me. Geoff Draconis. That is because I am the Kinkmaster, and I do all kinds of kinky shit that you cannot imagine. And the 5 celebrities are....."

The camera pans to the left side of the stage, it focuses on them one by one from left to right as Geoff introduces them.

"Axel Martinez!" A Latino hunk with slick-back hair in his late 30s,

"Carol McNaughty!" A Caucasian brunette with curly hair in her early 30s.

"Ryu Fukumi!" A Japanese girl in her mid-20s with lots of tattoos.

"Simon Waller!" A black bald man in his 40s.

"and Xenia De Shire!" A Caucasian blonde girl who looks really young, could be still in her teenage years.

As it turns out, they are also seated by alphabetical order.

"Only one of those names is real and believe it or not, that is Ryu Fukumi." Another laughter burst out. "And next to me is genuinely the most annoying woman on the planet. Honestly, she has once been uninvited to a wedding because of how annoying she is, and that was her own wedding. It is Little Ana Grace!"

The crowd clap with more intensity as they know Ana is the actual mastermind of this program. And Geoff loves taking the piss out of her.

"Hello Geoff!" Ana starts speaking with a rather genuine child-like tone.

"Hello!" Said Geoff.

"Have you ever wondered why the chicken crosses the road?"

"Oh god......" He acted as if he just heard the most annoying news in the world.

"Yeah, go on then, why did the chicken cross the road?" She said so with a smug grin on her face.

"Because Hansel and Gretel crossed the road earlier." The whole studio is silent. And then some "Oh....." and some pity laughs but not real laughs.

Geoff shakes his head, "Jesus Christ, You see how annoying she is. I don't know how you actually stay married to this stage."

Ana said, "My wife and I share many similar interests and values, and also, I'm very bendy."

Geoff ignored her statement and asked her, "Each week we ask the contestant to bring in a prize that fits into a specific category, what is the category this week Ana?"

Ana said, "This week we ask them to bring in the best thing that you, the Kinkmaster, hasn't tried before. As we have established you have done loads of kinky shits so the bar is pretty high."

Geoff inquires, "Axel, hello!"

"Hello Geoff" said Axel, the Latino hunk. He is a porn-star that has made over 1000 movies and had sex with over 3000 girls as he does boy-on-girl stuff only. He is well-known in the industry for his stamina and technique. He is very muscular but not in a scary way. He is 5'9" so not that tall, but makes him quite compatible with a lot of girls.

"What have you brought in that you think I haven't tried before? "

"When I was in Atlanta doing a movie earlier, I was introduced to the concept of turducken, which is a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey. It was delicious but I found that to be too big even for me. So I have come up with this. (A burger appears on the large screen on the stage.) The Turducken Burger, and it is the tastiest thing in the world, I bet you have never tasted it before."

Geoff is disappointed, "Wow, thank you Axel for mansplaining it to me. 2 things. One, Yes I have had a Turducken Burger before. Last year I ordered a turducken for Thanksgiving for myself and for the 5 days afterwards I was having Turducken Burger, Turducken Pasta and Turducken casserole, etc. Secondly, did you not know the name of the show? It's called Kinkmaster, unless you have fucked any of these birds before you eat them you are not gonna score very high."

Axel wants to object but his limited wit has reached its end. He just purred in deflation.

"Carol, what have you bought and can you beat a burger? The answer is yes."

Carol is a live performer, AKA camgirl. She has quite a following and made her a lot of money. She has a voluptuous body and natural 38DD boobs but she is on the petit side, at 5'6" her boobs and ass seem even larger in scale.

She was actually thinking about getting out and settling down as she reached her 30s. This show might be the last public sexy thing that she does. She usually does solo shows but she also has done things with other performers on her live stream, both men and women.

She says, "Yes I think you'd like this Greg, it's kinky. Let's just show it first." As Ana pressed some buttons, A large chair appeared on the screen. But it has a few sex toys attached to it electronically.

She continues, "This is the latest invention in the live-streaming industry. The Click-and-shlick 2000. Basically, you connect it to your computer and to your streaming platform, and as you receive people's sponsorship, they can do stuff to you via the chair. We actually have a clip here for you."

As Ana clicks the tablet on her hand, she also appears on the screen, sitting on the Click-and-Schlick 2000 fully clothed, in the same attire as she is wearing on the stage. And then the video continue and first a metal part, similar to a safety band of the rollercoaster, is lower from the top and bounded her to a chair at her chest, and 2 vibrators are placed there near where her nipples would be, the whole band is vibrating at her pleasure and she starts making a face of content. In the next scene, you can see that she has unfasten her zip of her pants and a vibrating dildo is coming from below the chair and inserted in her pussy. She reached an even higher level as she bit her lips and started moaning loudly. In the next scene, she has cummed all over the chair heaving heavily.

That was the first bit of actual sex that was shown in the show. The audience were previously only told beforehand that "this can get quite raunchy" and there would be scenes of sexual nature on stage. So they were not quite sure how far it would go. Now they are all turned on. "Damn that's hot." Axel added.

But on stage, Ana doesn't seem to be affected or embarrassed at all. She continued, "The chair also comes with a butt dildo, handcuffs, and you can change the front apparatus for a fleshlight for the male user." As she looks on to Geoff.

"And the winner is gonna take this home with your juice on it are they?" Geoff smirks.

"Well, we've wiped it off. But the residue, yes." Ana replies in earnest voice.

"Very Good. Carol, I certainly haven't tried this." Geoff said, "Now this is where I get a bit scared. Reeyoo, what did you bring and does that have anything to do with rope?"

Ryu is a Kinbakushi, or a Rope-master. A Japanese version of a Dominatrix that mainly uses the rope to bind her slaves, or on occasion, herself. Ryu uses a whip and candles for the torture element of play as well. Just that in terms of bondage, she usually only uses the rope. It is quite an art form. At 5'6", She is slightly muscular with lots of tattoos of Japanese Yokai graphics. She is a B cup and she does not hide it, wearing only a green vest that is slightly oversized.

"It's pronounced Ryu, like Real, not Reeyoo. Get your shit together or I'm gonna wreck your shit." Ryu wasn't joking, she was actually trying to threaten Geoff. She said the above with such a threatening voice. She continues, "Now, the game. I bought in the Kinbaku Daisen, A manual that listed all the different ways to bind people with rope. I am told that you have never done Nawa (The rope) before so this is how you can do this. Even though it takes training, you can use this book to start."

Geoff is actually a sex club owner and he caters for various fetishes. (This is also how this show has come about but we will dip into that later.) He has been a Dom in an S & M event and has actually used rope to tie people up, but he always finds the way he ties things to be a bit sloppy and always wants to get better at it. So he said, "Yes that is actually quite useful, well done." But because he forgot to do any explanation, it just seemed like he was genuinely afraid of Ryu's threat from earlier. And the producer has decided that it is funny and kept that in.

"Simon Waller, what have you brought for us?" Simon Waller, known to the world as Simone Swallower, a drag performer who won the Drag Queen Bee show 3 years ago. He has said that both himself and Simone are straight, he only likes the ladies but Simone is only into guys. As Simon, he is wearing the finest Italian suit and you cannot detect a bit of campiness in him if he doesn't tell you. However, his alter-ego is so fabulous. He worked so hard and earned a great status in the business.

Simon says, "It's a drag outfit set."

The screen shows a set of make-up, wigs, some paddings, corset, etc.

He continues, "Geoff, as masculine and strong as you are, I think you are going to make a great drag. You are so tall with those long and strong legs.... we can do so much with so much area on your face, and honestly you have great skin too."

Geoff turns to the camera and says, "Moisturize guys, it's not that hard."

Ana asks, " What would your Drag name be?"

Geoff said, "It's my first pet name and the name of the street I grew up in. Isn't it? So I guess it will be Ana-Lisa Hoe." The audience either laugh or go "awwww" lovingly as they know Ana's full-name is Ana-Lisa.

Living much to explore to the unbeknownst, Geoff continues, "It's a strong prize but a bit predictable from the prize giver. Yet that is not something I have tried. Is it the best thing though? We'll have to wait and see. Xenia, speaking about things you haven't done, we have a situation here do we. Tell us who you are as the audience and the viewer at home might not know you very well."

The blonde girl is very pretty with long hair, wearing an orange blouse that just about contains her slim figure and her 33C breasts, the part of legs she shows in that medium length skirt is also very smooth and desirable.

She says, "Hi, I'm Xenia De Shire, I am 19, and I am a student from Essex."

Geoff continues, "And what else are you?"

Xenia says, "I am a part-time librarian at the local library."

Geoff continues, "And.... what else?"

Xenia looks a bit bashful, and says, "A virgin."

This unexpected response elicited a loud noise of murmur in the audience.

"So, what happened Ana?" Geoff turned to Ana with a playful angry tone, "Have a little mix-up, haven't we? Why is this nice and pure virgin librarian in our perverted sex show?"

Ana says, "Well, it is not totally our fault, what happened is, we tried to book a famous person, who due to legal reason should not be named here, but she does the voices in the Adult Visual Novel Genre under a pseudonym. She doesn't have an agent and she used an email address under her real name. The problem is, her real name is rather common, there are actually more than 100 people in the UK alone that share the same name. And that person had left a typo in her contact, that led us to the person in front of us. Who, although knowing that the booking wasn't meant for her, still answers the email and agrees to be on the show."

Geoff asks, "So just so we are clear, Xenia De Shire is not your real name?"

The girl said, "No, it is not, there is a romance novel section in my library and Xenia is an author in that genre."

Geoff asks Ana, "We have cleared with Legal about that as well?"

Ana said, "Yes and No, we will have to pay damages to her if she sue us, but, A, she self-published those novels and no one knows who she actually is. Which means anyone could've claimed that name. Second, she wasn't really that successful so even if she sued, we don't believe there was any damage done and therefore, no need to pay any damage. So we can keep calling her Xenia."

Geoff said, "Right, let's openly diss who may be a struggling artist who may have also gone broke because of all the books she didn't sell. Anyway, Xenia, why have you agreed to come on this filthy piece of a show?"

Xenia said, "The money? The money you offer was mega, I've never known doing this can make so much money."

The other 4 contestants thought in synchroneity, "Yeah, it wasn't that much money but how sweet!" They were told each of them would receive the same compensation.

Geoff continues, "So you're saying that after all the filming of the tasks, you have still remained a virgin, is that correct?"

Before Xenia said anything, Ana interjects, "So actually, for dramatic effect, we would like to keep that a secret."

Geoff said, "Okay then, what have you bought that I haven't done?"

There is a light chuckle in the audience. There is clearly one thing that Geoff would not have "done", if the declaration is true that Xenia is a virgin. Although it would be the same for anyone who Geoff had not done and that means a majority of the world.

Xenia, "Well, as someone inexperienced myself, this is quite natural, but have you, as someone who is sexually active, ever gone through the concept of celibacy?"

She is obviously not totally oblivious about the concept of sex. The concept gets some murmurs from the audience. She continues, "I have read that it is very difficult, especially for men, to be celibate, after they have become sexually active. But it can bring them so many benefits, like a peaceful mind and more energy. Therefore they are the best thing."

Geoff sighs, and asks, "And you have brought in the concept of celibacy, have you Xenia?"

Ana interjects, "Xenia has bought in this, a no-nut every month calendar."

This almost goes directly against the premise of the show and the audience is murmuring in disbelief. Some even booed her. Especially after all that "virgin" talk, they had expected one thing and one thing only, but Xenia wasn't going to give that out as a prize in episode 1. Axel said, "I would have failed on day 1!"

Geoff opens his hand as if to say, "See?" as the crowd give their reaction to the prize. And said, "It may be very beneficial in lots of ways, but it is not what people have come here for. 1 point"

Ana said, "So you are judging now are you? Okay."

Geoff just nods and continues, "Axel, I can't believe you get the 2 points for that burger, and you have this sweet lady to thank for."

"Simon, although I have not done drag, I don't know if ME doing it would be the best ever thing. 3 points."

"Ryu, I really need to up my roping game so this is a good book for me, but the 5 points must go to the person who brought in the thing that is actually kinky and gave us the first sex scene in the series. Carol McNaughty took 5 points!"

The crowd applauses.

Geoff continues, "Right, Ana, what is the first task of the series?"

Ana says, "Well we want to avoid that word because it might get us into trouble, but the first mission they have to do is some grabby-feely action."

Geoff says, "Is it the word 'task'?" Ana gestures to him to stop, as the screen fades to a house, with various places that have the word KM on it in different ways.

The camera then pans to a white room with loads of transparent film on. There is a coin operated crane machine that you see in the arcade. There are many sex toys inside the machine. Ana is standing by the machine wearing the suit.

And then the contestants walk in this room by themselves, on different occasions, shot as a montage.

"Hello Axel,", "Hello Simon," etc. Most of them say hello back.

Ryu walked in, didn't say hello back, who looked at the room and said, "This is Creepy." with Ana saying, "That's my Middle name."

Xenia walks in and says "I used to spend so much time on this!" And then she looked down, and discovered all the sex toys. And say, "Never got any of those though."

Ana says to Axel, "Welcome to the Lab" and hands him a sealed paper.

Same thing happened to the others. Next shot, Carol is seen opening the paper and reading the content of it out. "Grab the Boobs. Fastest Win."

Camera pans to Simon, He says, "You may not open any part of the machine except the bottom door where you collect the winning." The camera pans there.

Xenia continued reading, "You may not break any part of the machine."

Ryu continued, "Your time starts now." As she finished, the camera focused on a pair of silicon boobies buried inside piles of various dildos, butt plug and sexy lingerie inside the machine.

The screen is coming back to the studio. Geoff says, "Right, time to go to the adverts, which is why we make the shows, come back to see which one of our pervert contestants OR the virgin was the first to grab a pair of fake boobs. See you after the break."