"Dad tell me you aren't dying of hemorrhoids?" young Johnny Glaze asked as his dad lay on the bed stomach first exposing a butt that looked like a school project homemade volcano painted in all red.
His dad didn't respond save some drool and beer run off.
"I can save your father's life Johnny", spoke a man who appeared out of 1) thin air, 2) the netherworld or 3) never-land. At any rate he was dressed as a sharp lawyer.
"Well if you take an unsigned post dated personal check I think we can do some business", Johnny responded to the mysterious man with a pitchfork, sharp horns and a tail, which seemed to blend in well with his suit, tie and of course profession.
"No, you misunderstand me. Your father is dying from a rare form of clitoris cancer. Within the next 60, 70 years max, he will surely be dead without intervention. Shortly after his demise he will be, and I do hate to tell you this, but very much impotent" spoke the lawyer as he placed his clawed hand reassuringly on Johnny's shoulder.
"NO!" screamed Johnny as realization sunk in that sex after death might not be that great after all.
"Look Johnny I haven't got all day. Just sign with some blood on this dotted line and I'll save your dad", the so-called lawyer suggested as he shoved some paper in Johnny's hand.
"Do I get a free 30 day Aol subscription too?" Johnny asked as a crafty bargaining ploy.
"That and 1 ½ free email accounts" the lawyer said as a smile crossed his demonic face.
And with that Johnny Glaze gave a few drops of his blood. Moments later the lawyer's cell phone rang and he was off like a bat out of hell.