From Hayton Beach, the most spectacular getaway on earth--in colour, it's The Matchmaking Game!
The audience applauds as the curtain parts. Throughout the studio, a jaunty trumpet tune is heard.
And here's the star of our show, and your host, Kirk Calahan!
A tall, middle-aged man steps out confidently onto the set to a roar of applause. He's classically handsome, wearing a well-fitted light-grey suit, polished black leather shoes, and a royal blue tie. His short, brown hair is neatly coiffed with a striking part, and his bright, toothy smile accentuates his impeccable jawline.
"Thank you, Charlie," he begins, casually. "And welcome everyone! Tonight we're--" he looks down with a humble smile. "Oh, you're too kind. Too kind. Thank you."
"Tonight," he continues with a measured, deliberate cadence when the crowd finally quiets, "we have a lovely program for you. Right here on this stage, a delightful young lady will choose for a date one lucky guy based solely on his answers to her tough questions. Now, I know they're excited to get started, so let's meet our bachelors, shall we?"
The rightmost portion of the studio set rotates to reveal three men sitting in tall chairs side by side. They face the audience, but a wall separates them from the rest of the set. Backlit, they sit quietly, obscured by shadow.
"A hopeless romantic with a love for flamenco music, Bachelor Number One is most comfortable wooing women on the dance floor. Please welcome Ramon Castillo!"
A spotlight shines onto the first chair. Ramon sits comfortably in a white, long-sleeved V-neck with pleated black slacks. On his neck hangs a fine gold chain, and his shaggy black hair hangs over his forehead in loose, wet-looking curls. As the audience applauds, he winks at the camera with a slanted smile.
"As a hardworking man in construction, Bachelor Number Two likes to let off steam by riding his motorcycle down the winding oceanfront roads of our beloved Hayton Beach. His name is John Harding!"
A second spotlight comes on to reveal John sitting crookedly in faded blue jeans and a striped casual shirt with one elbow on the armrest of his narrow chair. He nods to the audience before glancing around the studio as his rounded jaw works a piece of gum.
"And finally, this young man is full of surprises. Studying creative writing in university, Bachelor Number Three assures us that he still finds time for the more exciting pass times of chess, archery, and ping-pong. Say hello to Felix Brown!"
The audience claps for a lithe young man sitting up straight with a shy smile. He wears glasses with round lenses, a tan button-up shirt, purple corduroys, and clunky sneakers. His short, neat afro caps his long, thin face.
"And there are our three bachelors--good luck to you all!" Kirk exclaims. "Now let's bring out this evening's bachelorette."
As a small blonde woman emerges from somewhere behind the set, Kirk continues to speak.
"A delightful, down-to-earth gal, she loves pop music, dancing, and drive-in movies. Perfectly happy enjoying a milkshake and fries, our bachelorette takes pride in her ability to enjoy life's simple pleasures. Please welcome Rosey Finehorn!"
Kirk steps over to Rosey where she stands beside a red upholstered tulip chair and shakes her hand politely as the audience applauds.
"Hello, Rosey, so lovely to meet you. Are you ready to play, my dear?"
"Yes, Mr. Calahan," she says, with a giddy smile that draws chuckles from the audience.
"That's grand," he says, clasping his hands together and turning to face the camera. "Before we get started, let's have our bachelors say hello to Rosey. Bachelor Number One?"
Ramon leans forward, bringing his face close to the small microphone that shoots up from the right arm of his chair, and speaks softly.
"Mm... Hi, mami."
"Number Two?"
John stops chewing briefly and repositions the gum in his mouth.
"Hey, babe," he says, nonchalantly.
"Okay, and Number Three?"
"Hello, Rosey," Felix says, formally, dipping his head in a slight bow unnecessarily.
"Great, great." Kirk turns to Rosey. "You've got your questions? Alright, have a seat, get comfortable, and let's get to it. Good luck," he says, kindly, stepping out of frame.
Rosey sits with knees together, her white, pleated sundress with red polka dots hugging her body. Her bright blond hair is done up with a red bow.
"Okay, Bachelor Number One," she begins, leaning forward and looking down at a small piece of paper in her hands. "Where do you take me on our first date and how do we get there?"
"Ah, well first I would pick you up in my convertible. I think you'll like the red colour," Ramon says, smoothly.
"Oh, wow," Rosey says, with polite interest. "And where would we go?"
"Yes, I would take you dancing, Rosita. At the best club in town. I can get in anywhere. I know you love to dance."
"Hm, okay," she says, nodding along to the idea. "And Bachelor Number Two?"
"Yeah, I'd pick you up in my Harley and we'd ride until the sun went down, then catch a movie." John sniffs and smacks his gum.
"That sounds fun," Rosey says, looking up at the ceiling as she imagines it.
"Bachelor Number Three, if we were out dancing and another man asked to have a dance with me, what would you say?"
"Oh, um... Well, Rosey, I would say 'excuse me sir, but seeing as this lovely lady agreed to go on a date with me, I think it would be a betrayal of her wishes to offer you the opportunity to dance with her in my place.'" Felix nods. "Yes, that's what I would say." He nods again, sharply, attempting to add a sense of self-assuredness to his answer.
"Ah, you just want me all to yourself, hm?" Rosey teases, with a smirk.
Felix melts and chuckles nervously. The crowd laughs.
"Bachelor Number Two, I love strawberry milkshakes. What's your favourite thing to drink?"
"Heh, well, uh..." John hesitates with pursed lips. "I like me a couple milkshakes too, baby," he says, flashing his eyebrows to get a rise out of the audience.
"Hm, what flavour?"
"I'll buy whatever you're sellin', girl."
The audience erupts.
"That's nice," Rosey says with a smile, blushing. "Bachelor Number One, how will I finally know that you've fallen for me?"
"Oh, Rosita. When we lock eyes on the dance floor, with our hips swaying and moving together, our bodies lost to passion...that is when you'll know." Ramon says, seductively, his tone dipping low into a gravelly rumble.
"Oh my," Rosey says, fanning herself with her paper performatively.
