I finally dragged myself out of bed around 11:00, took a look at the sheets and frowned at the stains, resolved to strip the bed after breakfast, staggered into the kitchen, found a mug, considered pouring a cup of coffee, then grabbed the entire pot and carried it downstairs with me.
Millie and Violet were sitting on the couch outside, looking about as sluggish as me. Violet was lying down with her head in Millie's lap. When she saw me, she poked a finger at her coffee mug. I poured herself and me cups, then collapsed into a chair.
Trudy was holding up a newspaper with one hand, and with the other tapping on her phone. I honestly couldn't tell which one she was looking at, but at any rate she showed no awareness of anything in the actual physical world. Retta was on the lawn doing yoga, buck naked. Her yoga instructor had told her that yoga had to be done in the nude. I watched her for a few minutes, sipping my coffee. So many of her poses involved her either bending over or spreading her legs. If I ever meet this yoga instructor I'll have to thank him.
I yawned. "I can't seem to wake up this morning."
"It's probably the sleeping pills," said Millie offhandedly. She was sitting there in a t-shirt and nothing else. Her pussy peeked out from below the hem.
"I don't take sleeping pills," I said.
"Oh, Violet slipped them into your drink last night," said Millie, "so she and I could fuck you while you were unconscious."
"Excuse me?"
Violet gave me a shit-eating grin.
"That is not cool," I said.
"And yet," said Violet. "it was. Until you started snoring. Kinda ruined the mood."
"Why would you do that? It's not like I ever refuse to fuck you."
Violet shrugged. "Shits and giggles."
Retta came over and put her arms around me from behind. "I slept badly too. They said you were too heavy to carry into their room, so I had to sleep in their bed."
"You knew about this?"
She nodded, the look on her face completely innocent.
I sighed. "All right, girls. Ground rules. No drugging me."
"Only if you run upstairs and get me some cream and sugar," said Violet. "I don't like black coffee."
"You are not putting conditions on whether you're allowed to drug me."
"Jeez," said Millie. "Listen to Mr. Grouchy here."
"I'm tired too," said Violet. "I was up late last night. So the least you could do is run upstairs and grab me some cream and sugar."
"You were only up late because you were-" I put my head in my hands. "You know, I try complaining about you girls on Facebook. But everyone thinks I'm bragging."
"Violet will make it up to you," said Millie. "She needs to practice her blowjobs."
"And how are you going to make it up to me, Millie?" I asked.
"Violet will give you two blowjobs."
I rolled my eyes. On the one hand, it was a matter of consent, and whether I was safe and respected here. On the other hand... blowjobs. "If they're really good," I said, "I might forgive you."
"Might?" said Violet. "That sounds like a challenge." She smiled wickedly. "Though, you know, I give way better head after a cup of coffee. With cream and sugar. Which are upstairs." And when I didn't get up, she added, "Hint. Hint." And when I gave her the finger, she said, "Honestly. Some people."
"Mail's here!" came a voice. The mailman came through the gate and tossed the mail on the table. He gave Violet a hopeful look, but she ignored him. So he stood right next to Trudy, in a position where he probably had a great view down her half-unbuttoned shirt, and took out a sheaf of letters. "You girls are popular today. Bunch of stuff here from-a bank in Panama?"
Trudy stuck out her hand.
"A bill from some Japanese company."
"Trudy'll take that one too," said Millie.
Trudy managed to take the letter from the mailman and give Millie the finger at the same time with the same hand, while she was texting with the other. It took an impressive amount of dexterity.
"And this one's for Peter," said the mailman. He tossed me a large cream-white envelope.
My name and the girls' address were handwritten in elegant calligraphy. There was no return address, but the flap was sealed with red wax stamped with an image of a heart topped by a crown.
"Open it!" said Millie excitedly. "It's from the Queen."
"Why's the Queen sending me a letter?" I looked at Retta, who was the heir to the throne and would presumably know something about what the Queen was up to. She had a very dark look. Her eyes were narrowed and her jaw clenched.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing," said Retta. She looked away. "Open your stupid letter."
So I did. Inside was a little card, like a wedding invitation, that read:
Her Majesty the Queen of Hearts
cordially commands your appearance
this afternoon at court
"Huh," I said. "What do you think she wants with me?"
Retta, to my surprise, didn't answer. She turned on her heel and stomped into the mushroom.
"Am I in trouble?" I asked.
Trudy sighed and followed after Retta.
"Is nobody going to explain anything to me?"
Millie poked Violet in the shoulder. "Now's a good time for you to get started on that blowjob practice."
Violet straightened up in her seat, saluted Millie, and then climbed under the table. A few seconds later her hands ran up my legs.
"Okay," I said. "What are you trying to distract me from finding out?"
But soon Violet's lips were on my cock. And Millie was wrong. She really didn't need practice. She absolutely did not need practice. Blowjobs are always sweet, and then there was this. This was the crème brulée of blowjobs.
I leaned my head back and smiled. I could hear raised voices coming from inside the mushroom, but you know-I was getting incredible head from a beautiful girl, and I really didn't give a damn what else was going on.
Famous last words.
*
The girls spent the next two hours running about dressing and brushing and washing and what have you. Clothes were thrown all over the toadstool. I shaved in the kitchen sink and wondered if I should put on a tie or something. Nah. I'd been nude now for six weeks and I didn't feel like breaking my streak.
Retta finally settled on a slinky dress made of a sort of grey mesh with a metallic sheen. It covered her reasonably well-her nipples showed a bit-but when she went outside, the sunlight shone right through the dress, leaving the silhouette of her naked body in every detail, right down to her pussy lips. It was somehow more revealing than if she'd just been naked. Needless to say, ten minutes later I had my tongue in her mouth and two fingers up her snatch.
"Oh, come on," came Millie's voice. "We're already late."
Retta pulled away from me. "We can't be late. We'll get in trouble."
She was wearing tight shorts with two strips of lace rising up from the belt, that tied around her neck and sort of covered her breasts. She had a pair of sewing scissors in a holster pinned to one of her belt loops.
Trudy was behind her, her purse in one hand and her phone in the other. She had on a mostly-see-through knit top and a miniskirt. She frowned at my penis. "You might want to grab a napkin and wipe off the precum. We're trying to make a good impression, you know."
"Violet!" yelled Millie. "Get your ass out here!"
"There are really a lot of people there," came Violet's plaintive voice from inside. "I don't think I can wear this in public."
"I told you," Millie yelled back, "if you complain one more time, I'm cutting another inch off that skirt!"
Violet came out in a white dress so short it barely covered her ass when she stood still. That wouldn't have been so bad, if it weren't also slit on the sides all the way up to her waist. On top it was tied to only one shoulder, and every time Violet moved her left arm one breast came into view. She stood there in front of us, beet red, and her skirt waved in the very slight breeze, and the bottom of her lips showed.
Millie held up the scissors. "You going to say you like it, or do I need to modify it?"
Violet swallowed. "I like it."
"Good. Because here's the final step." She took out a lipstick and knelt down in front of Violet. She pulled up the front of Violet's skirt and drew a heart right over top of her pussy.
"Why are you doing that?" asked Violet.
Millie grinned. "People are going to catch a glimpse of it, and they're going to wonder what it is, and they're going to stare at your crotch until they see it properly."
"Oh my God," said Violet.
"Still okay with your outfit?"
Violet nodded weakly.
"Buck up." Millie nuzzled noses with her. "It's humiliating and you love it."
Violet put her arms around Millie. "I might love it more if you reached up the skirt and fingered me."
"Actually," said Millie, "that will get us both thrown in the dungeon."
Trudy cleared her throat. "Do you two have any idea how late we are? Move it."
It was a hurried walk. I hung back behind the others, watching Violet and Retta's asses, and fantasizing about fucking Retta in that dress. My boner was rock-solid and pointing up at a thirty-degree angle.
The palace was a big green building with onion domes, of all things. When we reached the yard Trudy yelled, "Shit, they're about to start!" and the girls broke into a run. Violet ran through that yard with her skirt flying around and doing nothing to cover her, one breast completely exposed and the other nearly out-and the yard was filled with paparazzi taking photos. Her face was so red I thought her hair was going to catch fire.
"You're totally going to be on the front page of the paper!" Millie told her as we went up the steps. "Ex-Diamond Suffers Epic Wardrobe Malfunction. Aren't you excited?"
Violet tried to adjust her dress as we went down the hall to the throne room. She whispered something at Millie.
"What?" said Millie.