Billy Earl Jimmson spat a thin brown stream over the side of the flat bottomed boat. It caught the dragonfly in mid flight and knocked it into the water. Then he returned his attention to the Hula Popper that he was working between the Cypress trees. He made the lure twitch and sputter with small jerks and random movements of the casting rod.
"Dat damn!!!" he hollered and jumped at the sound of the loud splash beside the boat. It was almost like someone had thrown a log in the water.
"You sap sucking bass, you're supposed to hit on my lure not a darn ol' tobacco soaked dragon fly.
Billy Earl always felt that he was a little higher on the social scale then his minnow dipping neighbors because he fished with artificial lures like his buddy Glenn had taught him. Almost everyone else in these river bottoms fished with minnows or worms except for him and Glenn.
Billy Earl was a maintenance man up past the hill near Texas 321 at the Tarkington Prairie High School where his buddy Glenn was a math teacher. Glenn was an usual resident of Sam Houston Lake Estates. He was well educated and a high school teacher, but he was smart enough not to talk down to his neighbors or flaunt his "learning" as they called it. His neighbors in turn overlooked his intelligence and accepted he and Dianne as part of the community.
He loved the slow moving life style in this little river bottom community. It was almost like living in the mountains of Arkansas or Tennessee or the Cajun bayou country of Louisiana at the turn of the century. Hunting in the thickly wooded river bottoms and cat fishing in the near by Trinity River and bass fishing in the little oxbow lakes provided both entertainment and food.
Glenn had finally gained the respect of his backwoods neighbors, now they often came to him for advice, particularly about affairs in the outside world. Sometime they even ask for advice on personal problems like one day last week when Billy Earl surprised him.
They were fishing along the lake Sam's shore line when Billy Earl started, "You know Glenn, I admire your wisdom cause you're a teacher and all and you've been in big towns all over like Texas like Houston and Huntsville and Lufkin and all. Do you mind if I ask you a kinda personal question. You know, a man to man kinda of question about women?" It wasn't that Glenn's neighbors were less intelligent then outsiders, it was just that they were insulated from the outside world, living in this small corner of the big thicket. A trip into Cleveland to shop at Wally World (Wal-Mart) and Holiday Food Store and maybe stop by the Montco Motors used car lot to look at the pickups and sometime maybe even eat at the Dairy Queen was a big Saturday family outing for most of the residents.
Of course the sinners in Sam Houston Lake Estates also had some wild Saturday evenings. For most of these however, it meant a local country western band holding a dance at the community center and the really bad ones would have a bottle stashed in their pickup trucks.
A wild evening for the others would most likely be a spaghetti supper or a singing at the Davis Hill Baptist Church. And, on good nights you could pick up Beaumont pretty good and enjoy watching a show on the television.
"Sure Billy Earl, I'll help you if I can." Glenn answered, expecting some kind of question like, does a Chinese girl's pussy really run crossways? So, he was actually shocked when Billy Earl begin talking.
"You know Glenn, just about every time I start making love to Wanda Sue she cries out or whimpers like I'm hurting her. I know it must be true because she's so dry down there that sometime its even painful to me, trying to get it in. Of course a man can't hardly tell his wife something like that. What do you reckon might be wrong with her?"
"Billy Earl," Glenn answered after thinking a few moments, "I already know you've been married a few years, but I'll have to ask you a couple of personal questions before I would be able to help you. Now I don't mean anything by them, but you ask for help and that's what I'm trying to do. Do you and Wanda Sue kiss much any more?"
Billy Earl clinched one fist and kind of sat up straighter on the boat seat. His face was flushed red, but he settled back down when he decided there wasn't any humor in Glenn's eyes.
"Well I guess I did kinda open the door for you to ask some really personal questions. Of course I kiss her, like on her birthday and at Christmas time. Well, not to much at other times. She usually makes a funny face and kinda shies back. She says men smell like tobacco juice. Course she didn't seem to mind so much when we were courting."
"Well would you say she's affectionate toward you in other ways?" Glenn ask.
"Yeah, she always cooks everything she thinks I might like to eat. And she's always coming up and hugging me from behind. And... as far as love making, even though it hurts her when we do it, she tries to encourage me to do it to her anyhow if it's been a long time and she figures I'm needing some relief."
"OK Billy Earl, that's about what I thought. I can help you, but you will have to do exactly what I tell you. If you don't do it exactly, it just won't work. Believe it or not, I had the same problem with this ol' gal that was living with me while I was going to the teacher's college. I cured her without a bit of trouble."
"You already know I was raised by my old granny over in New Caney," Glenn continued, "but you may not know that she was a kind of witch woman. I learned a lot from her about love potions and such. She sold potions and spells to people all over that part of the country. Anyway, she taught me that the greatest secret of all is that the major ingredient for a love potion you can buy in most any store, even Wally World."
"Now there's very few people that know about this so don't you go spreading it around. The main ingredient comes in one of those little tiny spray cans of breath freshener. You see, there is a certain chemical that they put in that stuff. Then there's another chemical that's created in everybody's salvia that if you mix them together and work them into a woman's skin it does wondrous thinks."
"Now you can't just spray her and then spit on her. You have to sort of slip it up on her. I used to sneak it on them with kisses. But, one big warning, it will not work at all if it's contaminated with even a little tiny bit of tobacco. The nicotine in tobacco kills the action dead as a door knob. If you don't wash every bit of the tobacco juice out of your mouth it will not work."
Billy Earl's left eyebrow raised a little bit at that, but Glenn kept talking. "Anyway I remembered what I learned from Granny and that night I took a good bath, washed my mouth out real good and sprayed it with that freshener before I crawled into bed. I snuggled up to her back and begin kissing the nape of her neck and shoulders, making sure I licked the skin with almost every kiss I kept kissing as I worked her gown down and covered her back with kisses. Then she sort of just flipped over and I was kissing her chest and breasts. Now , I'm sure that you already know a woman has twice as many nerve endings in the skin on their breasts then any other place and the nipples have three or four times as many nerve endings as the breasts It seems to work a lot better if absorbed in those areas.
