Little Ralphs Problems

Erin and her good friend Lidia were sitting on the porch, enjoying the peace and quiet now that the kids were off to school. Erin had dropped her little Johnny and Lidia's Bethany off at school and now it was time to relax. Lidia enjoyed a wine spritzer disguised by a Starbucks cup while Erin sipped a white Russian from her son's obsolete Tommy Tippy cup. Their morning chats covered a little of everything, from politics to the latest advice for raising kids. And of course there was gossip. You can't avoid gossip when living in a small town.

"I'm so glad that Bob can work from home. It's really minimized the impact of that whole Covid thing." Erin shared with her friend. "But I'm even happier that he's back in the office. I missed our morning chat time."

Just then the sippy cup made a loud slurping sound that signified that the cup was near empty. It was their custom that the first to run out had to provide bar service for the other for the rest of the morning.

"Want me to freshen that for you Madam?" Erin offered even as she grabbed both drinks and headed for the wet bar in the family room. Lidia chuckled at her friend's obvious silliness.

Erin glanced at her friend through the window as she "freshened her drink". Not for the first time it struck her that Lidia was not only beautiful, but she was astoundingly so. It made no sense that her husband had that "little problem" that had plagued them for almost a year, but Lidia assured her that "little Ralph" was indeed not up to doing it's job.

"How are things going with, you know, Ralph?" Erin broached the delicate subject as she walked through the door to rejoin Lidia on the porch.

"Oh, Honey, you'd never believe it. Remember how they did all those awful tests, and they said that his pecker wasn't broken?"

Erin nodded her head in acknowledgment.

"Well, sweetie, I went to that new Dr at the urgent care clinic. Dr Drew. Yes, the oh so handsome one with the broad shoulders and the curly blonde hair! Dr Drew." Lidia almost whispered his name.

They both had a chuckle about the girl's obsession with the new doctor in town.

"What did Dr Hunk tell you?" Erin tried to draw her out.

"Hon, you should have seen that guy. He took one look at me and concluded that there was something wrong with Ralph. But just to be sure he had me put on a paper gown so that he could ensure that I did not have some sort of deformity." Lidia broke out in a shit eating grin as she confided to her best friend. "I didn't even get my panties off. Just from watching me strip he had such a huge tent in his pants that he could barely walk. He said that was enough, and that Ralph obviously was the one who needed a bit of help. Then the good Dr quickly walked out of the examining room."

"What kind of help does Ralph need?" Erin smirked at the vision of Dr Hunk as a sex surrogate stepping in for Ralph. She imagined the doctor showing Ralph how to make love to his own wife. He would push Lidia to her knees, all the while explaining how important it was for the wife to provide the stimulation needed for a manly erection. Lidia would eagerly suck his cock while Ralph watched. Dr Hunk figured prominently in her fantasies recently.

Lidia rummaged around in her purse and came out with a small bottle of pills.

"Tada! These little suckers are what the good doctor prescribed. He said that they were part of a new experimental program that could overcome both physical and psychological problems."

"Well?" Erin prodded again. "How did it work?"

"First, I dressed up a little for dinner. Y'all remember that sexy little green dress that I got for Saint Patty's day? The one that goes so well with my red hair and light complexion? Well I wore that with a matching set of french cut red panties and that lacy red demibra that you said was scandalous just because it fully exposed both nipples if I leaned over at all. I wanted that plunging neck line to ensure that Ralph got a good view of my tits. It caught his attention immediately.

"I had doubted this experimental drug, but Damn-it, it worked just the way the doctor said. 'Just slip it into his mashed potatoes' the doctor said. So that's what I did.

"Well, let me tell you sweetie, it wasn't 5 minutes into dinner that I said something flirty to Ralph and his response was downright shocking. And I mean shocking. Instead of his usual smile and playful repartee he jumped to his feet, and with a single sweep of his arm he cleared the table. I've never seen him act so manly and so powerful. Dishes went flying. Food hit the floor. The glasses shattered but throughout it all, he only had eyes for me."

Erin was shocked. She'd known Ralph for years and years. She'd always known him as a mild mannered kind of guy. The kind of guy who seduces a woman with corny lines like "Come hither, wench, and worship my manhood! Please?" Passionate was not an adjective that she'd ever thought to apply to her good friend Ralph.

"He pulled me into his arms", Lidia continued. "And then he kissed me like he'd never kissed me before. At the start, his lips were so soft and pliant, barely touching my lips as his hands roamed over my curves. I found my lips parting as he aroused me like never before. Without warning, his tongue joined mine. We played in each other's mouth as the passion built up. Then I felt my self being lifted onto the table top as he set me down on the table right in front of him.

"Have you ever had a man make love to your breasts while you were still dressed? Hon, I swear that's what he did. His fingers were so gentle, running back and forth across the fabric of my dress. The bra pushed my boobs up and out, making the nipples poke out where he could feel both of them despite the using a gentle touch. I've never been so close to a climax simply from being felt up.

"He must have known that I was about to come. He had to know. I was panting. I was moaning. I was squirming. I spread my legs so that I could push my crotch up against his while locking my heels together behind his waist. There's no way that he could have missed the signs, but he took his hands off my breasts anyway. I could not believe it. I deserved that climax, and I wanted it NOW! Who was he to deny me?

"He was fumbling with his belt as I grabbed his head and pulled it to my cleavage. I wanted his tongue to continue what his fingers had started. Instead I felt both hands grabbing the center of my beautiful little brassiere... and he ripped it apart. I'd barely realized what he was doing when I felt and heard the fabric give as he split my dress apart, ripping it from the bottom of the plunging neckline all the way to the hem.

"Honey, let me tell you, there ain't much that's sexier than having your man tear your clothes off so that he can fuck you. Yes, that's what he did. 'Little Ralph' was no longer little. I'd never seen it so stiff, and maybe even longer than I recalled. I fell back on the table when he grabbed my hips and pulled my soft and wet pussy ever closer to his bulging cock. My legs were wrapped around him and I used them to pull him close; I wanted to help close the gap.

"Don't get me wrong sweetie, I'm not a slut but damn it, 6 months is much too long to go without being drilled by the one you love, know what I mean? Wouldn't you yell just a little as he plunges his hard prick into your oh so lonely pussy? Well, I let out a god damned wail as he plunged into Miss Puss, and then I grunted and moaned as he got into the rhythm of stroking in and out over and over.

"My fingers took up where his had left off. With my forearms folded across my chest I was free to play with my own breasts. I was able to pinch and pull and tickle while he pounded me. You know what happened next, dontcha Hon? Yeah. It was glorious. My man had that big cock stroking in and out while I imagined that my nails were his teeth biting my tender nipples. And that's when I started to come.

"I soared on the crest of my orgasm for what seemed like forever. Yeah, glorious was the right word to describe it. No matter where he touched me or I touched him, the effect was electrifying. His pelvis and my clit were perfectly aligned such that each stroke was rubbing my throbbing clit. At the same time, my G spot was right where it needed to be for his cock's swollen head to stroke it as he moved in and out. If only I could get his lips to mine, I'd have had all my erogenous zones in play at once. But I really didn't need any more stimulation. I had all I could handle as I came over and over again.

"Just as I came down from the first orgasm, my pussy started to throb, signaling another wonderful climax was starting. He and I could both feel it, so we started to synchronize our movement. He pushed in and I pushed against him to bury his cock deeper. As he pulled out I clamped down to squeeze even more blood into his shaft. I swear that his cock was even harder than it was just minutes ago.

"It did not take long this time. Ralph threw his head back as he grunted and tensed. I bet at least a cup of cum filled me in just seconds. I've never felt a man ejaculating into me like that. Sure, there was Mike, that guy we shared in college. We both thought that he came more than anyone else, but he's a soda straw compared to Ralph's fire hose that night. I felt more thoroughly fucked than ever, ya know?

"We would have kept going at it, but he whispered something about silk scarves and our four poster bed. I couldn't think of anything more appealing than being helpless as my strong, virile husband made love to me, having his way with me in whatever position he wanted. Yummy!

"So what happened next?" Erin asked eagerly. She liked the bondage aspect and wanted to hear more.

"Well, the staff happily helped us pick up our clothes and things, but the manager said we were no longer welcome there as we were ushered out the door."

As we passed the waiter, he whispered with a smile "The manager is off on Mondays".

* This story's plot has been shamelessly stolen from a 1 paragraph joke that I heard as a kid. The embellishments are totally my own.