Somewhere in the early hours, I woke up. He didn't notice.
I stood up and stretched every muscle. A new day and I was feeling full of myself - proud and strong.
Right away, I could feel her soft skin against me as she cuddled. Ever since she came along, my mornings are no longer lonely.
How can he just lay there, inert, with this going on? As usual, I will need to take charge.
"Hey stupid! There's something going on over here you're not going to want to miss."
Nothing. What an idiot.
Being right up against her asshole is warm and nasty. Just the way I like it.
"Mmmm..." she exhales, half asleep herself.
That's okay. I can wait.
For the past 25 years, I've seen it all.
Let me tell you the whole story.
I signed up for active duty as young as I could and saw action almost immediately. However, my first time in the field, I really let the whole unit down. Embarrassingly, I was nervous and quite frankly, scared. We were hidden in the bush and all was quiet. I just felt so antsy. After all, it was my first time in battle, holding a gun I'd never fired in anger...face it I was scared shitless!
I looked to the squad leader and...nothing. He was just laying on his belly with his eyes closed. I needed some leadership from him at this most tense moment of my life...nothing. 'Shit, this guy is useless!'
My nerves were about shot. I was trembling. Without knowing what I was doing, I let off a salvo into the darkness and all hell broke loose. The entire outfit was going off like a Roman candle. All I could do was ride it out and keep firing till I was out of ammo.
Then, it was all over. I just sat there, deflated and ashamed. I vowed to never let that happen again.
Yea, easier said than done.
The next time I found myself in battle it was more like a wrestling match. Mano e Mano. It was in broad daylight, the summer wind whistling through the straps on my helmet. Suddenly I was grabbed from behind. I was pushed and shoved like never before.
Pumping myself up with more bravado than I actually felt, I queried, "Really, is that all you got?"
Holy shit. That's when it really got rough. I thought for sure that I was being pummeled with a machine gun when I suddenly felt the vice-like pressure around my neck. 'I'll be choked to death' I thought, in panic. He definitely had the upper hand on me and all I could think to do was to pull the trigger again and let him have it. I did. Almost immediately he released me from his grip and I could breathe again. I fell to my knees, thankful to have simply survived.
There were many more forays into strange jungles and even more brawls I endured. Over time, I learned to hold my own in the most extreme situations.
There was a mission that entailed going into a rain forest and entering a truly dark cave. I could tell right away that I would barely fit through the entrance, but the squad just shoved harder until I got through. I couldn't see a thing and kept being jostled by the forces behind me.
"If you don't stop jamming me in here, I'm going start blasting away without regard as to who gets hurt." I yelled back.
I was being bulldozed deeper and deeper into the darkness until I just couldn't take it anymore. I opened up with all I had, blind and angry.
"You see what happens when you keep pushing me beyond my limits? Now, back off!"
Apparently, this was the kind of "talking to" that was necessary. The company did, in fact, back off. As I left the battlefield, I never knew what damage I'd caused in that murky place. I could only hope we never returned.
I was to be disappointed.
Not only did we return, but I would often have to deal with a one-on-one wrestling match shortly after one of these jungle raids. How much longer would I be able hold up under this nearly constant torture?
