Gwen's Boss

"My God Albert! What happened? Who hit you?"

Gwen looked in horror at her boss. She is his PA, part of the job was being his big sister, looking after a genius who sometimes didn't quite function in the normal world. She took the non-disclosure clause of her contract seriously, not even telling her husband Mike about Albert's problems.

He had a very black eye, deep parallel scratches down his right cheek, his right arm in a sling, and he walked with a limp as she followed him into his office. He winced as he gingerly sat in his chair behind his big glass and chrome desk.

Gwen closed the office door and sat across from him.

"It was a bit of an accident."

"What! The car service never phoned. They have very specific instructions to call me any time day or night if there's an accident. When did this happen?"

"Friday, but they weren't driving me, ah." As the words left his mouth he realized his mistake.

Gwen's eyes narrowed. Her voice went low and quiet, gentle even. "Honeybun." That was always a bad sign, when she called Albert 'Honeybun' in her sweetest voice. "Honeybun, were you driving?"

"Um, yes."

"Albert, Honeybun, tell me, what were you driving?"

She already suspected the answer, since it was his only car.

"The P40." He studied the top of his desk.

"Oh, Albert. We talked about that after the accident didn't we? We decided the Ferrari was really a race car, and we aren't a race car driver, didn't we? And we agreed to keep it in the games room as an 'object d art' and an investment, didn't we?"

"But I didn't drive it fast. Actually we were parked. You remember I said I was going to my high school reunion? And Dino said." Gwen held up one finger. Albert knew to stop talking and listen.

"Dino from maintenance? That Dino. He told you to take the Ferrari out for a spin?"

"Well, not so much for a spin, but he said if I wanted to um, as he says, um, get lucky at the reunion."

"You're taking advice about meeting women from Dino?"

"Well, you may not know this, but , sort of men talk, evidently Dino is quite the ladies man."

"I suppose it was Dino that told you that?"

"Well, no, um maybe, well, he didn't brag about it or anything, you know, just sort of mentioned it. Like?"

"Oh, Honeybun, the last time Dino had a date he didn't have to pay, the Leafs won the Stanley Cup."

"Oh." Albert payed rapt attention to a dust mote on his desk.

"So, who did you think you'd Get Lucky (She quotationed with her fingers) with?"

"Um, not really get lucky, per say, but I found out Suzi would be there, and I know, she'd probably be married, but you know, I wanted her to know I wasn't doing too badly. Right?"

He'd told Gwen before about his high school sweetheart, and how he regretted loosing touch when they went to college. He was, still is, six feet tall and gangling. Makes Ichabod Crane look buff. In the high school yearbook he'd shown Gwen, Suzi was a short chubby pimply girl with short curly bright red hair. Their attraction was their intellect. She could just see them sitting in the cafeteria, discussing the symmetrical beauty of a 'trig equation, or the deeper meaning of a chemistry experiment. Things their teachers just barely had enough grasp of to teach the 'normal' students. Princess and Prince Nerd of Geekland.

"So, you went to the reunion, did you find Suzi?"

"Oh yes! I didn't recognize her for an instant. She's lost weight and gotten taller, but it was wonderful. We found a table and it was just like high school again, talking about the latest theoretical, um, um, any way, people kept coming wanting to take pictures with us. Weird, so we decided to split."

Poor Albert, thought Gwen, he still doesn't grasp the idea that being almost as rich and famous as Bill and Melinda, everyone wanted to be his friend.

"So, anyway, we went out by the lake. It turns out Suzi is still single too, which surprised me. So, I got brave and asked if I might kiss her. Well, you know how awkward kissing in a Ferrari is? Boy, I should have taken the car service, had the partition rolled up. Maybe you're right about Dino's advice. So we're kissing, I'm sort of on my tummy to get across the center console. Did you know you can open your mouth and your tongue. Mm. And I touched her breasts, and she didn't slap me!"

Gwen's finger went up. "No more details."

"So anyway, about the accident, I guess I hadn't set the parking brake, and the gearshift must have got bumped out of gear, and we didn't notice anything until the car tilted forward, but the nice teenage couple at the other end of the lookout parking saw what happened and called 911.

"Oh, Albert."

"So, that's how I got my hips so bruised and the doctor says I've a few cracked ribs,"

"What about Suzi?"

"Amazingly, not a scratch."

"Not to mention your black eye and those scratches."

"Oh, no, that happened back at the hotel."

"Hotel?"

"Yes, after the ER, we went to Suzi's hotel. Actually, the policeman from the accident stayed until I was discharged and drove us. I think maybe he was sweet on Suzi."

"Uh huh." The city's richest citizen, and the cop is going to make sure he's safe, thinks Gwen, if he knows what's good for him.

"So, even in the Hotel snack bar people kept coming over and wanting to take those selfie things with their phones, so we went up to Suzi's room. And that's where Suzi scratched me."

"Honeybun? What did you?"

"Nothing, er, I tried to catch her."

"Catch her?"

"Well, she was wearing these high heel shoes with long thin spikes for heels. You know, I was calculating. with the loading per square millimeter,assuming a weight of."

"ALBERT!"

"Sorry, um, so as soon as we were in her room she was trying to tale off her shoe and lost her balance, so I grabbed for her, and she grabbed me, and we both ended up on the carpet. So we got into a laughing fit, then Suzi pulled down my zipper and next thing I knew I was on my back and my thing was out and hard, and Suzi was about to straddle me."

"Albert!"

"Um, no what happened, Suzi cried out I was bleeding. See we never noticed but I guess her fingernails scratched me as we fell. So she says she's lots of experience with this sort of cut, and gets a little bottle of gin out of the mini 'fridge, and some TP and disinfects the cuts. The she says we should disinfect it from inside too, and gets two more bottles out."

"But Albert, you hardly ever drink."

"I know, and neither does Suzi, as she told me later. Did you know gin smells like pine trees? Anyway, I don't see the point. It doesn't help the taste of the diet Coke."

"Gin and diet Coke?"

"There wasn't any root beer in the 'fridge." Gwen let that go.

"so, we took our drinks out on the balcony and it was sort of romantic looking out at the gardens and ponds of the 'Arms' with the moonlight and all."

"The Arms. were you at the Angel's Arms Resort?"

"Yes, didn't I say? that's where Suzi's suite was, is."

"Never mind. The black eye. Did she punch you, or what?"

"Well, her balcony had fancy cement balustrades sort of low railings, see. And we got kissing and stuff. So Suzi says she knows what I need. She gets down on her knees and pulls my pants down." Albert drifts away for a moment remembering his first blow job. Suzi's licks and kisses, the the unbelievable sensation as she wraps her mouth around his pecker. " So, my back is to the railing, and I'm going to , you know, so like Dino, um , told me never to, you know, in her mouth on the first date. So I tried to step back, and lost my balance over the low cement railing, and Suzi jumped up and grabbed me. But the low railing, and our combined mass above the C of G with our kinetic momentum."

"You fell over the railing?"

"Yes, um, luckily we were only ten or so meters up, and there were some ornamental hedges to break our fall, so we ended up sort of under the hedges. The ER doctor who relocated my shoulder says to keep the sling on and see him Friday at his office. Will you make an appointment?"

"Well, I guess a black eye is the least of your injuries."

"Um, that happened after we fell. See we were under the hedge, and Suzi was under me, and my pants were down around my ankles, and this couple walking in the garden and a security guard heard our scream when we fell. Then it got a bit confused. The man yelled 'Susanna, I'll save you!' and he and the security guard pulled me out and began punching me, while the lady tried to stop Suzi from stopping them."

"Wait Albert! Suzi. Is her last name Winlaw by any chance?"

"Why yes. How do you know that?"

Through sheer willpower and years of practice Gwen managed to keep from rolling her eyes. Nature, and Scientific American, the only two periodicals Albert read, were most likely the only magazines in the world that Susanna, the world's darling supermodel had never graced the covers. Her story was legendary. One of the leading astrophysicists, she'd been laid off during one of NASA's lean periods. Her model friend suggested on a lark she come along to a shoot promoting a mega yacht show in Ft. Lauderdale, and the rest,as they say.

Her other claim to fame is her lac of coordination. She'd broken a Royal Princess's arm when she tripped off a runway at the Paris Winter Fur Show one year. Her movie career, although the one movie was a blockbuster, was short lived when even the stunt people refused to work with her because it was too dangerous. And that was just for the bedroom scene!

"And that's how I got the black eye. But I wanted to ask you a favor. Suzi's doing a shoot in Paris, then Moscow. Do you think the company plane could pick her up there on the twenty sixth?" The company plane was an Airbus airliner conversion. "And would you and Mike be our chaperones for dinner and dancing? Her agents insists on it. Can you make reservations? Some place nice? She'll be staying at my place."

As she headed out to her desk Gwen wondered if she should call the companies lawyers and inquire about their liability concerning innocent people on the dance floor when Albert and Susi were dancing.