Commercial Real Estate

You want to know how great sex isn't? I've started wearing incontinence undergarments. Do

not

laugh at me, I'm a normal healthy woman of 29. I don't do weird stuff. I'm just producing an excessive amount of vaginal fluid. Excessive for me.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes the fluid is useful. But only when I'm actually having sex. I don't want to be a leaky faucet whenever I see a cute guy. I don't want to buy undies by the gross and carry a dozen around just to get through the day. I don't want to ruin furniture, mine or anyone else's.

And now you're saying, 'speaking of gross...' I don't care, guys get a lot grosser and don't care who hears it. You want to brag about your big prick, and how you drive women nuts with it? Then you'll have to listen to what a woman experiences when she's aroused. And it won't be by you, loser.

It's not like I'm lonely, or deafened by a biological clock. I'm okay as I am. Some no-commitment sex, once in a while, was fine up to now. So why am I getting way too interested in guys a step or two above ordinary? I mean, I always thought I had pretty high standards. Movie-star looks, chiseled body, yeah, those would widen my eyes, and maybe something else. But even then there'd be only enough slickness to make everything down there feel nice. Now, if a halfway decent guy so much as smiles in my direction, my knees slam together audibly. I really don't want to be a menace to public health and cleanliness.

My gynecologist told me to kegel. That slows it down, but it still happens.

When I was younger, I'd put a wad of tissue inside my panties. I could then dribble a bit, without becoming a biohazard. This is different. Much worse.

I have a good job, contacting people all the time. I must be presentable and stay on the subject, which is commercial real estate.

You just nodded off, didn't you?

I know, this is an online support group for people with sexual dysfunctions, and there's probably no phrase in English that can dys a sexual function quicker than 'commercial real estate.' I haven't yet found a site specifically for problem squirters, so you'll have to put up with me here. Would it help if I admit that on the job, while showing a property, I had sex?

He's a few years younger than me. He wants to open a restaurant, and there are plenty of failed ones available, with the equipment still installed. It was just the two of us in this place that flopped with Asian fusion, and he was looking through the kitchen.

I had already dripped into the absorbent gunk. The 'undergarment' supposedly isn't obvious, if a woman wears normal clothes. He

is

cute, sandy-haired and blue-eyed, but I was almost getting used to oozing, and actually wasn't flirting. But out of nowhere he said, "Um, can I say this? You have beautiful eyes."

Of course he shouldn't say that, it's totally inappropriate. But everything we'd had in our hands, brochures and documents and all, went to the floor, and we embraced and kissed.

I was aware enough of my responsibilities to drag him to a washdown room outside the meat locker, where the surfaces are tiled and can be disinfected easily. As we stripped I said "Please close your eyes, I love your lashes," and thus was able to hide the 'adult' panty in my skirt. He

does

have pretty lashes. I'd kill for them.

As I spread legs and leaned against a wall, and he inserted what turned out to be a smallish dick, I splashed with abandon and relief. It probably made his day, he could brag that he made a woman squirt. And I came pretty nicely, since (from a small dick's force of habit?) he fingered my clit and nipples.

What I've read, and heard from my gynecologist, is that squirt doesn't have an obvious, characteristic odor. But I must be broadcasting

something

. Do we even realize it when we're sending or receiving pheromones?

Anyway, if anyone can advise me on what to do, please reply, here or in a PM. I really don't want to keep wearing what I must call

diapers

(grimace). Think of it as paying me back. From now on, thanks to me, you might get aroused by the phrase 'commercial real estate.'