About Parents And Sex

ONE

Sitting reading on the back porch in the late afternoon sun, Maggie Sargeson saw her daughter come around the house; she beamed until noticing Vera was not looking at all happy.

"Hullo, darling, called Maggie, tossing a bright greeting hoping to defuse an unhappy tirade. She hoped her son-in-law had not been – what was it Vera called it? - oh yes, desk-fucking his secretary again.

"Hi mom. Can we talk?"

Maggie didn't know what else they did when together. Lags in conversation between them were huge if lasting more than a half second.

"I've got something vary serious to talk to you about," said Vera, her brow carrying that perplexed look.

"Oh dear, that secretary being leaning over the desk again?"

"What secretary are you talking about?" Vera asked, the brow furrows increasing in depth.

"Oh, must have been something I watched on TV," Maggie said vaguely, and to her relief Vera shied away from that goof.

"It's dad; you'll have to refer him to a specialist for urgent treatment."

"Conroy, what's wrong with Conroy?" asked Maggie in alarm. "Come inside dear – I don't wish the neighbors to hear this. "What does Conroy have wrong with him?"

"I don't know the medical term, but we call it dirty old man's syndrome.

"Gloria called me to say she couldn't sleep all night last night worrying, because when she met dad in the supermarket she become conscious that he was looking at her breasts rather than looking at her."

"But her breasts are her, dear."

"But mom – REALLY looking at them."

"What do you mean, salivating like a hungry wolf?"

"Mom, do you mind? This is deadly serious. Gloria is so worried for me and you and she almost feels she needs medication."

"Gloria does? But she's normally such a sensible girl."

"Girl? She's a mother with two tots, mom which is two more than what I've got. She'd told Marcy and Lizzie and Karsen and me when we met this morning for coffee and I was asked to speak to you about dad. We'll all so supportive of you mom and we are desperate to shield you from him. Where is he now?"

"Well, I haven't really seen him since six this morning…"

"He'll be out on the prowl now doubt."

"What prowl?"

"Looking for young flesh."

"Why?"

"To fiendishly consume."

"What eat? Don't be so disgusting and absurd, Vera."

"No silly – to have his way with. To fuck, mommy. There, I've said it."

"I think not, dear. He was gardening for two hours, and then went fishing all morning, then hurried back to change and go to golf where he'll be now with the very respectable Dr Morse, Judge Howard and, hmmmm, the not so respectable Mark Drum."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I am darling; it's Wednesday and he's always at golf. They'll be finished and in the clubhouse now – here's my phone, call him?"

"N-o-o-o. I won't do that."

Maggie looked at her daughter and smiled. It was time for her youngest to have another sex lesson even though she was twenty-six.

"Vera, your father and I still have sex and enjoy it."

Her daughter's dark eyes turned huge and her mouth fell open.

"S-s-sex - you two still have sex once a month at your ages?"

"I'm only forty-eight, darling, and if I'm still not having sex when I'm seventy-eight I'll be greatly disappointed, I think, though one never knows. Your father is fifty-one and he's still plowing away like..."

"Mom!" shrieked Vera. "Spare me the details, please."

"Very well – but I'm not allowing you to get away with that once a month comment – three times a week is more like it, minimum."

Vera boggled.

She rushed up and hugged her mother.

"Oh mom, you poor darling. Fancy being subjected to such beastly behavior."

Maggie thought it was time to be firm.

"Vera, that's enough. Let's talk about something else but I just ask you this: I want you to tell your Tuesday group what I've just told you about having sex and the frequency and also you might add I look forward to it just as much as your father does and we don't only just do Missionary. Then perhaps they should ask mothers about their attitudes and whatever about sex. I think it's time you girls got yourselves up to speed; this is the 21st Century, you know – not the Dark Ages."

"Yes mom," answered Vera demurely, but inside she was agog.

TWO

Tuesday was coffee morning followed by some group shopping then lunch for the three young moms, not accompanied by children, and the two motherless (so far) more recently marrieds. Marcy, Lizzie, Karsen, Gloria and Vera met in a state of excitement because it was time to collectively share findings.

All knew about Vera's parents, because they'd been told on the phone and were then asked to report on Tuesday on what they could learn about their parents and sex.

"Bob and I will have to increase our frequency – mom and dad are doing it more often," said Gloria. "And mom seems to talk to me with pride about this, saying some couples dry off – I think that's the term she used – not long after their last child was born. But others, she said there's no stopping them until – and this was the disgusting part – until it's too dry and wrinkled for him to finger and he can't get it up."

The young women looked at one another horrified, and then they all burst into laughter.

Karsen reported her mother was too embarrassed to talk to her about it so she asked her father. He was so sad telling Karsen her mother would no longer open her legs to him because she'd found out that once he'd had an affair with their babysitter. Now the only sex he had was with women he knew who were interested and those opportunities were decreasing. However, the new librarian at his office seemed to be particularly friendly with him and twice had asked him out for a drink.

"I told him to accept next time she asked, and I was gratified to see that old smile come back to his face – I felt as if I'd done a marvelous thing," said Karsen.

Marcy was disappointed that her parents only did it once a month. Marcy's eyes turned huge: "Mom told me she and her friend Veronica were more that just best friends."

There was gasps from the other young women, unsure whether to sympathize or say something like ‘Well done Mrs Curtis'.

"So long as your mom is happy, that's all that matters," smiled Gloria. Everyone agreed and Marcy looked very pleased, saying she was glad her mom was not totally lesbian.

They received new coffees and looked at Lizzie, glad she'd waiting to be last, because her report would be the best because her mom was so outrageous, having worked on the stage, had her pilot's license, had been married three times and had been twice arrested in drug busts, although not proceeding to Court. Her current hair color is orange.

Lizzie, looking quite flushed, began: "Er…"

"Come on, Lizzie. We are your friends," said Karsen.

"Mom says she has sex most days, sometime more than once a day and sometimes they have other people with them."

Lizzie hung her head.

"That's very interesting," said Gloria, rather shocked. "There is no need to venture into that domain, is it, er, Vera?"

"No, definitely not," said her closest and equally prim friend.

Marcie and Karsen looked very disappointed.

From that point the conversation went down hill, none of them really knowing what to think except it seemed that older people still had sex and professed to enjoy it.

Vera had to report back to her mom.

THREE

"Well?" asked Maggie as soon as Vera walked through the doorway.

Daughter Vera knew she wasn't being asked to comment on the weather.

"It seems that everyone is into it mom and professing they like it. Lizzie's mom is fifty-three and has sex most days and sometimes other people join in."

"Omigawd," gasped Maggie, sitting down. "Details please."

Lizzie was so embarrassed we did not encourage her to continue; in fact we eased her gently out of the conversation."

"How lovely of you girls, that was very supportive of you. Fancy though, Stella Rawlings into group sex."

Maggie said it had been a useful lesson to Vera, not to make assumptions that older people were not into things younger people did, be it running, tennis, reading young love novels or sex.

Vera agreed, she'd learned her lesson and in future would not be so judgmental.

"But please tell dad not to stare at Gloria's breasts. Her saw her in the library yesterday and she said he was positively licking his lips, looking at them.

"Oh, he's still a young man at heart."

"Mom, I don't feel you realize the seriousness of this. He's ogling Gloria."

"How does Gloria feel about this?"

"She phones me up to talk about it, saying it's giving her hot flushes and she often pictures the image of him peering at her breasts."

"Oh, then it sounds as if they may have a go at each other shortly."

"Mum! Gloria's my best friend and has two darling little children and a husband who loves her and she loves him. You've got to stop it. Dad can't go around fucking anyone he sees."

"He doesn't dear, rest assured. You father is very cautious and discriminatory. It takes the pressure off me when he finds an interest elsewhere. A girl my age kinda likes a bit of breathing space now and then."

"But mom, Gloria's twenty-six – half his age."

"Exactly half I should think, dear. But what is the relevance of that?"

"I, um...Gloria's my best friend. Don't you mind who dad fucks?"

"Not really dear if I know them. I certainly have no problem with Gloria. I've known here all her live."

"Mom," wailed Vera. "You've dumped me into a huge new crisis."

"Not me, dear. Blame Gloria's tits."

THE END