(This is my entry for
April Fools Day Story Contest 2024
. Please rate and comment!)
It had been a long time since both Ariel and Joel had really gotten it on--nearly, a year. Sure, there was the quickie here and there BUT no really good voulez-vous. There had been a difficult pregnancy, and then they were just busy. Life was like that, Ariel supposed. Stuff happened, and there was nothing you could do about it!
The three new babies, plus their other three kids, required LOTS of time and attention. Back when they were newly married, they'd gotten it on all the time, SOMETIMES twice in one night! One epic night they'd done it three times! Now Joel and Arial were lucky to get in a quick nookie once a month...such was life.
Ariel had had enough of their stagnant love life. She wanted some really, really good voulez vous. NO, She needed some oh-so-good voulez vous. Ariel had wanted to go to a resort in Cancun---one of those resorts that had a "Kids Club". You dropped the kids there and the married couple would be able to voulez-vous all day long. But there were bills and things they had to save for. They had six kids...life didn't come cheap, SO Cancun was out.
High school finals and SATs were coming up, so Ariel was unable to get their usual babysitter. Still, Kayla, their oldest was eleven. She should be able to take care of her five siblings---at least for the evening. When Ariel was a kid, back in the 80s, five-year-olds would be able to survive by themselves for the evening.
You just rented a VCR and the latest movie on tape, turned on the TV, and got them a pizza. Any 1980s kid would survive! (If the kid was smart, they could even make microwave popcorn!) Ariel had never heard of a 1980s kid dying or being severely traumatized from a night like that. (Unless the parents rented Beetlejuice.) BESIDES, Ariel and Joel would just be upstairs in case there was a real emergency.
In an attempt to seduce her husband, Ariel treated herself. She went to an upscale boutique got herself a brand-new dress and lingerie. Ariel got her hair done and a mani-pedi. She looked spectacular! Stunning! It was all for Joel. She cooked Joel and herself a fancy dinner, put out a lace tablecloth with their wedding china and lit candles.
The three oldest kids got Chef Boyardee Beefaroni raviolo. The ten-month-old baby triplets had apple sauce and milk. The triplets were burped, changed and put to bed. Ariel was thrilled after they finally went down.
Ariel heated the Beefarnoi in the microwave and plunked it down in front of her kids. It wasn't vegan. It wasn't healthy BUT the kids would survive...1980s kids were able to survive the night on crackers and peanut butter. Ariel went upstairs and put her new boutique dress on. She did her hair and make-up. Ariel looked beyond spectacular. She made her way downstairs. Joel had just come in.
"Hey, sweetheart," she said to him, smiling.
"Hey." Joel said, not even looking at her. Ariel had become part of the scenery for him. Ariel knew that would change. Tonight was the night she would WOW her way back into his life.
"Mom, Tuner isn't eating his ravioli," said Kayla from the kitchen. Kayla was her oldest and "in charge" for tonight.
"Eat your ravioli," Ariel told Turner. Kids shouldn't be this difficult! Beefaroni was Turner's favourite food. Normally, he would eat it till it was coming out of his ears.
"NO!" yelled Turner. His voice was resolute, as only a three-year-old can be.
"Why not?" Ariel questioned. She wasn't a modern mother. Ariel wouldn't cook anything else. Turner would eat the Beefarioni or starve.
"Kayla said the brown stuff in here is beef AND that beef is cows. I LIKE cows. Cows are my friends...they say MOO. I'm NOT eating my friends. It's yucky. I HATE you." complained the resolute Turner.
"Eat it!" said Ariel. She was just trying to get him to eat, like a good mother would do.
"No!" proclaimed Turner.
"Be a good boy...eat your dinner." Ariel pleaded. She wanted him to eat something. He liked Beefarino.
"NO WAY! I HATE you!" yelled Turner again. He angrily tossed his plate of Beefarino on Ariel's brand new white silk dress It slid down the dress, leaving a huge red stain.
It took all of Arial's self-control not to slap Turner on the spot. She'd made a nice dinner for Joel and her. It had taken her all day to make that beef bourguignon! Now, her dinner would grow cold while she cleaned the new silk dress!
Sure, there had been a time when she'd just go change into her new lingerie OR nothing at all, BUT the new dress had been expensive, and there were bills to pay. Now was time to clean the dress! Ariel had no problem with letting her kids watch TV all night or eat canned ravioli, but Ariel refused to appear naked in front of her children! How times change with children!
Joel just kept on eating like nothing had happened...SO much for romance.
Kayla, the eldest, had eaten her Beefarino ravioli without complaint so had Marshall, their middle son, who was seven. The triplets had been fed and were sleeping...for now.
Joel and Ariel hadn't meant to have triplets. They already had three kids. They'd just been trying for an even four. Ariel had wanted another girl. Was it so selfish to want two daughters for herself? Joel had two boys! Ariel remembered Joel's face at the obstetrician's office when the doctor had said they were expecting triplets. He had turned as white as a sheet.
"You two are going to be the proud parents of triplets- two girls and a boy!" the doctor had said...cheerfully as if she were giving them a present.
"Triplets?" Ariel had questioned nervously. This would explain why this pregnancy was worse than the three earlier ones. Ariel had thought it was because she was getting older.
