Want To Get Laid On Your Travels

If you frequent popular travel message boards on the internet, you will notice questions like: "Which country in South America has the most beautiful women?" "What do you think of Italian men?" or "How can I best meet local girls in Poland?" From this fact, one could assume that for quite a few people the prospect of sex in a foreign country is part of their motivation to travel.

It might be the hope, that finding someone, is somehow easier far away from home, the prospect of sex in particularly romantic locations, the idea of exotic beauties that are waiting just for you... or just the idea of combining two things a lot of people enjoy: sex and travel.

Be careful! The rules for social interaction are different in different places, and you should be aware of how to behave in order not to offend anyone. And, on the other hand, just because you are far away from home, things don't magically happen without any effort. If at home, you have trouble getting to know guys or girls, it might be even more difficult abroad. I have met people who seemed to be travelling for the sole reason of getting laid – and they all ended up disappointed. Travel for the travel experience, and view anything else as a bonus.

The following are a few tips on how to help things along a bit, and what to keep in mind if you have sexual encounters on your travels. They are, of course, from my limited experience and from what other people have told me; thus, they are by no means complete, and I take no responsibilities if they should not work out for you. Also, since I am a student, my travel experiences have taken place in budget traveller and backpacking surroundings, so my text is directed mainly to other backpackers.

There are different people you could have sex with abroad. The first one would be:

Option 1: Your Travel Partner

This of course works best, if your travel partner is your significant other, or at least someone you already have sex with on a regular basis. If not your significant other, please keep in mind that you will most likely still keep travelling with them for a while. A night of passion between "just friends" can lead to some very awkward feelings afterwards. Now imagine this awkwardness with someone you still plan to share hotel rooms with for the next three days or five weeks or seven months.

A few weeks of backpacking together even without sex has destroyed quite a few friendships – in the case of me and a the girl who used to be one of my best friends, three days in Vienna with her mother were enough. Sometimes you don't know how annoying someone is, until you are in a place where you can't escape them. And on the other hand sex even without the background of having to sit next to each other on a ten hour bus ride right after can be quite destructive for a friendship at times. So, imagine a combination of these two aspects.

If, on the other hand, your travel partner is your partner also at home, chances are good that you will really get laid on your travels – I don't think I need to advice you on any special seducing techniques because it is quite likely, that you know your partner better than I do.

But where to have sex with your partner?

You probably can see it in front of your inner eye: A beautiful beach, the sound of the waves, the sun setting behind palm trees, no one there except for you and your lover, you can taste the salt from your swim in the ocean still on each other's lips as you melt into a kiss that makes you one with nature...

My one and only try of having sex at a beach was very different to this: The beach was quite near to the center of Barcelona and everything but lonely, despite it being the middle of the night. We had a few drinks, a swim (please don't copy this, swimming when you are drunk can be quite dangerous, even more so at night when you can't be seen), and then got comfortable on the sand. Or in the sand. Or the sand on us. And in us. In the end, the sand stuck everywhere, and we gave up, as people walked by about ten meters from us. If I ever try this again, I will not only look for a beach that is truely lonely, but I will also at least bring a blanket.

Should your travel destination lie in the mountains at an altitude of more than 3000 meters, please remember the Bolivian saying

camine lentito, come poquito... y duerme solito

(walk slowly, eat little... and sleep by yourself). Physically exhausting activities on your first days at high altitude can lead to altitude sickness, and that can be the case for long sex sessions too. Altitude sickness is no fun. Fortunately, the body usually adapts quickly, and after two or three days you can do all the hiking and have all the sex you want.

If you can't even wait until arrival at your destination, you could try to become a member of the Mile High Club during the journey (that is, if you travel by airplane). The most common place, I am told, would be the airplane's toilet. I can't imagine them to be too comfortable or have a very erotic atmosphere. Also, the people queuing outside might not be very happy with your blocking of the hygienic facilities, but I heard there is a certain thrill to doing it in the air.

Otherwise, the more conventional option is in your hotel, pension or hostel. A lot of hostels have a few double rooms, otherwise a cheap hotel might be a good idea: people who have sex in dorms generally aren't popular with fellow travelers. Apart from that, I enjoy sex a lot more if I can be as loud as I want. Then again, some people

are

as loud as I want to – in one hostel I once stayed at, another guest told me how she couldn't close an eye the past night, because an Italian couple in the dorm next to hers (not her own!) had such a loud and long sex session. Just think of how loud it must have been for the people in the same dorm! Interestingly, I had had sex with my boyfriend in our dorm the very same night, but the friend we were travelling with slept through it (or never complained to us, but he isn't the type not to say anything.) If you really can't afford more than two dorm beds (though in a lot of places double rooms in a run down hotel catering to locals are cheaper than hostels, whose guests are mainly foreigners), waiting until everyone left the rooms to do some sightseeing might be the nice thing to do.

One thing that might be good to know about, is your destination's attitude to public displays of affection. They might be less accepted than at home, and it is a good idea to not offend the locals by openly kissing and feeling each other up in the middle of the street. After all, travelling is also about cultural experience, not about imposing your own customs everywhere. Sex in public places gets you into trouble almost everywhere in the world when you get caught – and the definition of where sex or offensive behavior starts might vary.

In a few places, unmarried couples might have difficulties getting a room together, but in most of the world it should not be a problem.

Advantages:

If you absolutely must have sex on your travels to call it a successful vacation, then travelling with your partner might be the safest bet. If you have sex on a regular basis at home, why wouldn't you do so abroad as well? And travelling together could spice up your sex life. It could be a new motivation for those that are starting to lose interest, a time to focus on each other, and a way to escape the everyday stress of your lives.

Also, travelling in Two can turn out cheaper per person than travelling by yourself: You can get double rooms instead of singles, and the taxi or private guide you would pay full price for even when you are alone usually doesn't get more expensive when there are two of you.

Disadvantages

While this option means you will have sex in new locations, your sex partner will still be the same one as always. Which might not be what you meant by new experiences... Especially if you don't have a partner, travelling with one might not be possible.

Travelling together, especially when you are still a new couple and don't yet even live together, can be a strain on the relationship – I mentioned the difficulties of travelling with friends above, and the same can apply to couples that aren't used to seeing so much of each other yet.

On a backpacking journey you are very close to each other, very often and for a long time. You share rooms, sit next to each other on busses, go sightseeing together, etc. You just might realize that the person you believed to love so very much, has some very annoying habits. Chose well whom you travel with. This is also true for travelling with people you aren't sexually involved with – but in that case at least, you could decide to split ways and meet again at the end of the journey. If a couple does this, it might feel like a defeat that is difficult to cope with later on, and could be the end of your relationship.

Option 2: Other Travelers

As I said above, I am referring mainly to backpackers and budget travelers, thus I will speak about people who go to hostels or cheap hotels. For those that prefer more expensive accommodation, things might be different; I wouldn't know though, as I can't afford expensive hotels.

Of course you probably won't meet someone every night and in every hostel. And chances vary also according to where you are. I would suggest hostels rather than cheap hotels, and preferably dorm rooms, especially mixed dorms. You might not even have to venture very far to meet nice people then. Should you want the privacy of a single room (which admittedly has a lot of advantages if you succeed in meeting someone to have sex with) I would suggest a hostel or hotel with a good common area.

Smaller hostels seem best to me, not only for the sake of meeting guys/girls. One of my favorite hostels was a tiny place somewhere in Australia, not more than 20 people were staying there, and after about a day I knew everyone by name. Another one, in Seville in Spain, was not much bigger, and while it had no real dorms (four beds was the maximum) it had a beautiful, typically Andalusian patio full of plants and armchairs. Every day after sightseeing I would sit there for a while to relax and chat with the other guests as they returned from their own trips into the city centre. In the evening, we would sit there for a while, one of us playing guitar, and then part into little groups in which we went into various pubs and flamenco bars. Or one in Southern Chile that had a living room with an open fire place around which we would all gather to warm up from the hiking we had done during the day... you get the idea. You should have a chance to meet people.

This isn't to say no one ever made friends or had a one night stand or met the love of their life in a big, anonymous hostel. It's just a bit more difficult. Of course the hostel isn't the only place to meet fellow travelers. Cities that are popular with backpackers often have bars that cater mainly to foreign guests, and maybe you meet the right person on a guided tour or while you are sightseeing by yourself, or even while you are hiking.

The good thing about meeting people on your travels is that it is easier to start a conversation than it might be in a bar back home. There is always something to talk about: "How long have you been here?" "Where are you going to next?" "Did you like this or that place, is it worth going there?" and before you know it you are in the middle of a conversation. A few questions about the life back home can help you find out, if the person of your interest has a boyfriend/girlfriend back home.

The hostels, bars, tours on offer in different places aren't always ideal though. Obviously, in a popular travel destination there will be more travelers, more hostels, and more parties. In regions that only see a handful of tourists at a time hostels might be a scarcity. The thing about party places and tourist hot spots is, though, that everyone goes there. They often aren't exactly adventurous. If sex and parties are the main purpose of your travels they are great, but else they could get old quite quickly. For me variety works best. After a few weeks far away from everyone and everything I enjoy the party places. After a few days there, though, I want to flee them again.

Mostly, things work like they would at home – that also means keeping in mind that abroad a no is still a no, and that you should be sensitive about reading signs. Not every single traveler is just waiting for you to chat him/her up, but according to my experience, people are less shy and somewhat more open to no-strings sex while travelling. This might be due to the relaxed atmosphere in a hostel, the fact that most people want to have fun on their vacation, or maybe the knowledge of that you will all travel on into different directions the next day, and thus all actions seem to be without consequence.

In fact, though, there are consequences that exist abroad as well. So please be safe. If you are a girl, you probably don't want a baby from someone of whom you don't know much more than their first name and the fact that they are on a round the world tour. And if you are a guy, you don't want to have to wonder for the rest of your life whenever you see a child looking strangely like you.

Once I had an argument that lasted about 20 minutes with an Australian in a hotel room in Madrid, because I insisted on a condom, while he "promised to have no STDs." I should have left right away. Just because someone is a backpacker like you, doesn't mean they are safe from having STDs. It is likely that you are not the only person they have had sex with on their travels, and if they don't want to use a condom with you, it is very likely they have had sex without a condom with other strangers they met on their travels before. If you want to have sex while traveling, or see even the slightest possibility you might, then a pack of condoms belongs to your basic travel survival kit. Don't expect the other one to have them, unless you want to spend hours late at night in a strange town looking for an open pharmacy or a vending machine. If you buy them in the country, I would suggest to try to buy a well known brand – condoms are the wrong things to save money on. I could tell you several stories about the trouble I had with cheap no brand condoms from vending machines in Prague. Of course for the condoms in your backpack the usual precautions ascribe: Don't have them near any sharp objects, and if you travel in extreme climates avoid exposing them to heat or cold.

Advantages

Some of the advantages of getting it on with other travelers (versus locals, which I will talk about next) are obvious: In most cases you will have a language in common (usually English) and you will be from a somewhat similar cultural background, which helps in avoiding misunderstandings or very different ideas about morals.

Also, you both know you will take trains, busses or airplanes into different directions soon, and thus you know not to expect something beyond the moment. If you have been traveling for a while already, you probably have even gotten over exchanging email addresses with everyone you meet along the way. That helps not only avoiding complications with one person ending up to want more, but also in some cases makes the shock milder whenever the alcohol wears off and you realize who you are lying in bed next to. And you don't need to worry to run into them again each time you enter your local bar. Though I wouldn't be too sure, if they travel a similar route to yours they just might have the dorm bed next to yours in the next town.

On the other hand, I know people who have found the love of their life this way, and adapted their travel route in order to be able to spend more time together.

Disadvantages

As said above, I know people who have found the love of their life this way. However, this love of their life often did not live in the same country as them. And often did not have the same travel plans as them either. So after a few days they had to say good bye. And either that was it, or what followed was a long distance relationship – which in some cases lead to one of them finally moving to the other's country, but in other cases did not work out.

One of the most difficult problems is where to have sex. If both of you travel by themselves, you are very likely to both be staying in dorms – and I have already written about the difficulties of having sex in dorms. You could book a private room, but a lot of backpackers I met are chronically low on money. So, in the end, you might have to resort to the dorm or other places in the hostel after all. The hostels own policy to people having sex in their dorms can vary, btw. In a hostel I stayed at in Spain, they had separate dorms for men and women, and when they found me late at night in the boys' dorm (Where I wasn't doing anything but talking to one of the guys), I was told I had to leave the hostel the next day. In a hostel in Bucharest, on the other hand, I found signs on the walls, saying that they find it quite okay and normal if people have sex during their stay, but they ask them to please keep the noise down. Interestingly, I had sex in the first hostel – in the women's shower with the water running, which we hoped would keep the male night guard out – but not in the second one.

Also, of course, a fellow traveler might not be as exotic to you as the locals, if it's exoticness you are after. And you aren't that exotic to them, either.

Locals

To some, this might be the most interesting thing about sex abroad: The idea of people exotically beautiful men or women, who are all you miss at home, and who are waiting just for you to come visit their country.

Reality can be different, though. There you are, abroad, but somehow the only locals you get to talk to are your tourist guides and the guy at the hostel reception. Or you do meet more locals, but no one seems to speak English (I have met people that seemed honestly surprised at the fact that not everyone in the world does.)

Now, the easiest way to meet locals that are willing to have sex with you, would probably be professionals. That, however, might not what you are after – after all it takes the whole aspect of having conquered a foreign girl/guy out of it, and you could have saved the money for the flight and invested it back home. Also, I am somewhat torn on that issue: On one hand I am not by principle, against prostitution, on the other hand I see problems, when it comes to poor countries, especially countries with a reputation for sex tourism. Often the prostitutes are very young, and not voluntary in the situation they are in. Even if they are old enough the question remains whether they are working in that area only because they didn't have any other chance (and in that case I would prefer to do things that help the local economy and give more people the chance to do different kinds of work). If you anyway want to go to prostitutes on your travels, I can't advice you a lot because you very likely have more experience with them than me.

If you plan to hit on locals, it is a good idea to know a lot about the country's culture. In some places openly flirting with local women can be seen as very offensive and could get you in trouble. Or a woman, who indicates sexual interest in local men, could be seen as something she doesn't want to be called. And it isn't the local's job to adapt to the tourist's culture – it's the other way around. So please, know where you are and behave accordingly.

Misunderstandings can't always be avoided in a place, whose language you don't speak. I met a guy in a hostel in Bangkok, who told me that a few nights ago he had found a nice bar, full of beautiful Thai girls and visited mainly by foreign men. He had a fun evening there, though nothing further than a kiss with a girl happened. The next day he returned, this time with a friend. He ended up talking to one of the girls, who after a while stood close enough to him for him to feel something that made him realize she wasn't really a she. A bit surprised, he asked her, whether she was a "lady boy", as he put it. "Of course," was the answer. "We are all lady boys here. This is what this bar is about. Didn't you know?" He hadn't known, and now turned around to his friend to tell him – but he saw him in a very deep kiss with another Thai beauty, and decided to just not tell him...