This "guide" is intended for wives/girlfriends who are interested in trying out tease and denial. This might be because you find the idea appealing or (probably more likely) because your husband/boyfriend has requested it. It's a (perhaps surprisingly) common sexual interest, shared by many men, and quite a few women, as well, both for giving or receiving.
To start, every person and every couple is different. Tease and denial can be done in many ways... there's no right or wrong way (as long as everyone is consenting and safe). This guide is just one perspective on how to do it... so if some of the things in here don't sound like your cup of tea, just skip that flavor and choose something you like better. This guide isn't meant to be all-encompassing, exhaustive, or perfect for everyone... it's mostly a list of ideas that you may want to try, and an attempt to sift out some tease and denial advice that doesn't get muddied too much with other kinks.
There is a lot of information on the internet about tease and denial, but it can be hard to parse through and find what you're looking for. It's also easy to become overwhelmed by other, more "extreme" content that often finds its way into many online sources. Tease and denial doesn't need to mean whips and chains, chastity devices, or humiliation. At its heart, it's about giving your man more pleasure than he's ever felt... along with more frustration, in equal doses. Who doesn't want to give the man they love more pleasure... and receive more in turn? And who doesn't want to be more naughty than nice every so often?
The concept is quite simple. You "take charge" and determine when your SO is able to cum (denying him much of the time), while making him want to cum more than ever. That's it. It's seems an oxymoron... a contradiction. How can he want you to tease and deny him when he wants to cum? But if he asked you for this, he does. It's like savoring the smell of freshly baking cookies or checking the tracking on that package you're so looking forward to. But to much higher degrees. Or perhaps more apt, that feeling of sexual tension when you start dating someone you're very attracted to but haven't taken things that far with yet. But this tension is manufactured on command... maintained... as long as you want. You can feel like the early days of your relationship... or like teenagers again.
You're taking his most primal need and harnessing it, controlling it, making him wait to satisfy it. Stoking the flames of his desire into a bonfire of desperate need. Anticipation and desire, cranked up to eleven. Delayed gratification that will drive him wild. It causes a steady, quite pleasurable feeling of wanting, intertwined with frustration. It's a heady kind of pleasure, but extended, rather than quickly burned out like orgasming.
You can put as much or as little time and energy into it as you want or have available. It doesn't have to be a fulltime job. You can spend as little as a few minutes a day, though the more time you "invest", the more intense it will become. He will want to cum more and more the longer and more you tease him and the longer you make him wait. And telling him "no" (no matter how much he begs you not to) will only make him even more turned on. It's what he wants, deep down, even when his body is screaming for release.
If you're interested in trying it out, here are a few basic steps.
1. If this is your idea, you definitely need to discuss it thoroughly beforehand to make sure you're on the same page and both ok with trying it. Either way, you should make sure you both know what you're planning to do and any limits either of you might have.
2. Choose a time period to try it out. Don't choose anything too long, but make sure it's long enough that you'll get a chance to really try it and get a feel for it. Two weeks would be a good start. A predetermined timeline lets both of you know the game will only go on so long and sets an understood maximum to how long he could be made to wait.
3. Setup a safeword (something you wouldn't normally say, like 'watermelon', that he can use if things are going too far for him). This way you don't have to worry about being too "mean", since he has the option to stop it all at any time.
4. Assume your authority. You don't have to go full on dominatrix (though he'd probably find it very hot if you did). You'll get far with just using a more "stern" tone and by making it clear that you're to be obeyed. Imagine yourself as a stern (but sexy) teacher, if that's easier. He'll find you being in charge and telling him what to do very sexy. Make it clear that during this period, you're in control of his orgasms. He'll probably be turned on by you saying it, so feel free to repeat it often. He's not allowed to cum until (and unless) you say so. This is the most important "rule". It's the basis for the whole concept. Make sure he agrees not to make himself cum and to let you know if he's getting too close.
5. During this period, tease him as often and as thoroughly as you like. Try to tease him at least once every day, but skipping a day here and there is ok. This could just be a few minutes before you go to sleep at night or could be a longer and more intense session of teasing him where you bring him to the "edge" of orgasm over and over without letting him cum. It's best to have a mix of both, and at least have a longer session every few days.
6. There are also smaller ways of teasing him. A lingering kiss, a hand rubbing over his pants for a moment, a dirty text or whisper, wearing something he finds sexy. I'm sure you know how to turn him on. Make it as "difficult" for him as possible... remember, he wants to be tormented by his sexy mistress!
7. Observe his desire to cum and desperation grow over time. You'll likely know when he's getting desperate because he'll beg like you've never heard before. How long this takes will depend on the guy and how much you're teasing him. The begging will likely grow in intensity over time. At first, even though he's begging, he'll probably hope you'll still deny him. Some part of him yearns to be controlled, denied. To be told "no" when his body is screaming for release. Let him beg, and stand your ground. Whenever you think he's finally ready, make him wait longer. Be a little "mean". Remember, he wants this. You might not understand it, but he WANTS to be desperate and denied. And he can stop it anytime if it's too much. Keep him wondering when you'll let him cum. Or even IF you'll let him cum.
8. Then, make him cum only when you want to (and preferably after you've made him quite desperate).
