Every man, woman, child and anyone else over the of eight has heard the word "sex" and wondered about it. Children hear it described as something awesome and wonderful from their parents, the media, their friends, and a host of other places. Advertisements on billboards show virile men and exotic women hawking a product or idea. So, "What is it really?"
In it's highest and simplest form it might be described as follows. "A harmonious coupling of a healthy man and a healthy woman in spirit, mind, and body." It has been described by some as as the ultimate human endeavour. In it's highest form, it should provide pleasure more intense than than any other human sensation, equally to the man and to the woman.
As adults, with at least some experience in the matter of sex, one must wonder why we aren't all going around with a smile on our face - all the time. The answer is simple. We have simply not experienced sex in it's ultimate form; rather, in a lesser form, without appropriate portions of emotion [spirit], intellect [mind], and physical [biological] input into the activity. The fact is we are, none of us, perfect lovers. . .we have our hangups, we're not socially unblemished. We are not perfetly attuned to our lover. That does not mean that we who have risen to a 9.9 on a scale of 10 can not improve. . . .
The sexual act without emotion, is devoid of any feelings other than sensation and can only be classed as recreational sex. Of course, if one is willing to settle for 2/3ds of the equation it can still be fun - but can never be enjoyed to it's ultimate extent.
The sex act without intellectual stimulation leaves only the coupling of the body, i.e., sexual congress and is more simply called prostitution. It can never be more than a higher form of external masturbation. Of course, some are willing to settle for the sensation that it provides. It should be noted that a professional prostitute knows that they must try to induce some intellectual stimuli into their act if they are to be successful.
So; then, we have a man and a woman, who are bonded socially, either by marriage or other commitment, who might wonder, "Is this all there is?" Most of us probably have. Men!, "Remember when you rushed your partner into premature coitus with a severe case of 'hot pants'?" In so doing you deprived your partner of the their ultimate pleasure. In so doing, you also deprived yourself. "Remember when you. . . . .?"
Women! "Remember when you wanted to punish your man by not participating fully in the sexual act that you entered into willingly?" You deprived yourself; thence, your partner. "Remember when you ...?"
So, there we have addressed the harmonious aspect of the relationship in the act. Neither the man or the woman can do much about their health but, let's face it, sexual intercourse and the events leading up to it involves strenuous physical activity coupled with a keen mind and unfettered spirit. In addition, obesity, poor hygiene, and feelings encumbered by mental aberrations will probably be distasteful to a partner.
Now, "How do we we prepare for our sexual liaison?" Well, the obvious first thing is to make our body as presentable as possible, good hygiene and grooming as well as bathing are a must. Then, we must prepare our minds... think about all the matters relative to the act before you commit to it! If their are unresolved intellectual matters, resolve them before committing further. Preparing the spirit is much harder. . . .Are we really in contact with our spiritual side? Do your emotions, [including but not limited to lust] impel you towards further commitment? Once one has started down the path towards sexual intercourse the intellectual and spiritual matters will be distorted by lust. Latent and unresolved intellectual and spiritual values will manifest itself as guilt and detract from the ultimate enjoyment.
Part II - ----------------------------------------------------------
So, "How does it all work?" Let's take Jack and Jill, two hypothetical people, married, couple of kids, financial worries and encumbered with busy, full lives. They are healthy and deeply committed to each other. It's Friday and Jill has had an easy day with the children at school and the household chores completed earlier in the week.
By mid afternoon, she begins to think about Jack and fanticise about his body. She begins to feel a bit cosy and her groin and nipples are a bit sensitive. . . .an all together pleasant feeling. She considers masturbation briefly but rejects the idea, preferring to save herself for the evening with her husband.
Then, she plans, simple meal on time, kids prepared for bed early, and the master bedroom decorated with flowers and a nice scent. She showers, prepares herself for the evening she anticipates and dresses in her sexiest dress. Her lust is now more evident and she revels in anticipation. In quiet moments she succumbs to the lusty feelings.
At 6:30 p.m. Jack arrives home, a half hour late, dinner has been on hold for half an hour and Jack has had an emotionally draining day. The kids, who have been waiting for dinner have become unruly and Jill's evening is starting poorly. She serves the dinner and minds the kids as
Jack eats in silence. After dinner, Jill does the dishes and cleans the kitchen; then, gets the kids tucked in. Jack has gone to be, sunbathed, and exhausted. By 9:00 p.m. Jill undresses, dons a heavy night gown, and goes to bed beside her husband who is sleeping soundly.
In bed, Jill smells the stale body odor of her husband as she lies, frustrated, in bed. In an hour or so sleep comes. . . .
At 5:30 a.m. Jack arises at his usual hour and jogs his usual two miles before returning to shower and shave. At 7:20 he puts the kids on the school bus and returns to check on Jill who sleeps peacefully in their bed. After making coffee and breakfast of scones and Irish Creme Jack removes his clothing and returns to bed where he cuddles up to spoon with his wife. As he lies next to Jill's warm figure he clears his mind of his business problems and lusts after his wife. The lust comes easy for him as he smells the sweet scent of her body powders and shampoo.
Half an hour later, Jill stirs and wakes to find it well past her usual time for arising. "The Kids!" she says. "All taken care of," he says. "Breakfast in bed," she notes and suddenly relaxes into the arms of her lover.
As the two lovers lay in their bed they do not immediately institute the sex act; rather, they begin to align themselves to each other. He looks into her eyes and she returns the look. They talk about controversial matters of the day and discount them, one by one. Now, attuned in mind and spirit, Jill goes to her morning shower and returns a few minutes later, totally nude. Jack admires her body with his lustful gaze. She turns and does a pirouette to show her nicely shaped features.