My 7 Rules to Online Relationships

I have been on Lit for at least ten years. I have had my share of relationships on Lit from simple friendships to more personal relationships. I am not a relationship expert nor do I claim to have all the answers at all. The rules I am about to outline are rules I try to follow. This ensures that the relationships are stable to an extent and helps to alleviate some issues I have seen and went through.

1. Real Life takes priority over online: It doesn't matter how friendly you are to whomever online. If you do not take care of your real life business, your online activities may suffer. You need to do your real life activities. You need to go to work. You need to spend time with your family. You need to eat and sleep. These are all very important. If a real life issue arises, take care of it before you do anything online. Some online relationships are fickle compared to your marriage, your relationship with your children and such. If real life gets too much, keep the computer turned off until you get things handled.

2. Be honest about what you want: If you want a sub and she wants a sub, there's going to be an issue. If you make contact with someone you click with, be sure to be honest with what you want. Not every woman wants to cyber you, fellas. Not every guy wants to be your platonic friends, ladies. If she wants you to play, it's your decision to do so. But be honest about what you are looking for. If you want vanilla sex and he tried to talk about binding your hands, be honest. If you need to be spanked, say so. Subtlety online is useless depending on the medium. If your partner leaves because you want different, it happens.

There's a second part to this as well. If you are planning on meeting up or camming and such, don't try to lie about what you look like and such. Using a picture from five years ago is simple misrepresentation, especially if you lost hair, gained weight or whatever. It's better to be honest up front than to be stuck in an expensive hotel because you didn't tell her you lost your hair.

3. Show discretion: Let's be real. If you happen to land the hottest girl on Lit as your submissive, you'd want to brag about it. Honestly though, it may not be the best idea. Many on Lit want to remain discreet about their out of sight activities. There are numerous reasons for this, but the biggest take away is that you can't go on the boards talking about stuff you and the person discuss in private. This not only violates any trust the partner had in you, but it also marks you as a blabber mouth, causing you to lose other opportunities. Be discreet. This also means sharing things shared in confidence as well.

4. Be open in communication: Don't be afraid to communicate. Whether by Skype or pm or YIM or KIK or whatever, communication is a helpful way to avoid assumptions and miscues. It also is a good way to diffuse arguments or possible issues before they become a major pain.

5. Have Reasonable Expectations: As much as you want a partner at your beck and call at all times to help you cum on demand, it isn't a feasible solution. Between working, a child, real life issues, physical limitations and such, it's hard for someone to be like that unless you move in. Remember Rule 1. You need to have a reasonable expectation of what can happen and what to do. If you want more, you will be disappointed.

6. Do not expect more than you are willing to give: If you love receiving pictures of your partners, then it is only fair that you provide equal displays back. If you love hearing them cum, you need to do the same. Do not try to make someone do something they are not comfortable doing. Some who are in the BDSM lifestyle do different surveys available online to identify what a partner is willing or not willing to do and what they may do if coerced. These are guidelines that can be useful. The thing is, don't expect a partner to drop whatever they are doing in real life just to help you jill off. Remember Rule 1 and Rule 5.

7. Either side can terminate the relationship at any time: This is the biggest sticking point of all and one that is the most painful. If the relationship is not working, do not be afraid to be honest and respectfully stop. This is probably the part people hate because breaking up a friendship and such is just as bad online as it is in real life.

Please remember, gentle reader, that there are human beings on the other side of the monitor who type on keyboards, tablets and phones who deserve respect. No matter what relationship you are involved in, love them as if they are your friend in real life and treat them as such.