Jt's Guide: Exploring the Clitoris

You know it's there, but you don't know where. At least you want to find it, since you are reading this. But more than that, you want to know what to do with it when you do find it. This will be a basic introduction to the female sexual organ with the greatest potential for pleasure. Yep, that's right, not her pussy, but her clit.

First off, we need to understand a few things about the clit. It is made up of the same type of tissue as your cock. Just as you become erect with arousal, the clit will react similarly. A woman has a dense bundle of nerves here that can respond very intensely to stimulation. In fact, we are just beginning to realize that the clit may be part of a network of nerves and tissue extending to and around the vagina. Some women can have an orgasm purely through sexual penetration. Most women, however, need stimulation on the clit to fully experience a climax.

We are all wired a little differently, so women who orgasm with just penetration may have more nerves connected to her vagina. In addition, there is a spot inside a woman's pussy that can be more responsive to stimulation as well. This is the G-spot, and I talk about that in a different story. Regardless, the clit is the center of pleasure for almost all women. If you have a woman who can cum from just penetration, great, but wouldn't you still like to make it better? Pretty much all women can cum from clitoral stimulation and without penetration. Did you read that right? Women can cum with ONLY clitoral stimulation. That is why it is important to understand how to do it.

So you now know you need to stimulate her clit to get her off. Done. Right? Well no, if it were that simple, men would excel. We are creatures who are very good at focusing on a simple, straight forward concept or task and mastering it. This isn't one of those. There is a lot of subtlety needed to do this right. That is why we need a guide.

You may be thinking, "Ok, the clit is sensitive, responds to stimulation, and is responsible for her orgasm. I just need to rub it until she cums." Oh if it were just that simple. Just as women are more complex in other ways, that applies here too. If you go in there rubbing (and there is far more to do than rub) right away, she may not let you come back. Imagine if a woman tried to give you a hand job while you were soft. She just grabs ole limp dick there and starts yanking it back and forth. You wouldn't care for that much would you? Well there are some of you freaks out there who would, but I'm talking to most men.

Unlike women, we respond quickly. If a woman grabs my dick and starts playing with it, trying to give me a hand job, most likely within 30 seconds she will have something hard to work with. This isn't the case with women. They typically take much longer to become aroused. Foreplay and seduction play a much greater role for them. Her clit needs to be ready to be touched. If you get there early, two things are possible. One, it will be too sensitive, and touching or rubbing will be uncomfortable. Two, she may be able to tolerate it, but by rubbing it too early, it can become desensitized before she can cum. Timing is important. Most women need some build up. Kissing, letting your hands roam other places, playing with her nipples; all of these things can get her aroused. Do them!

Now you know you need to work your way to her clit. How long should that take? Well it depends on a lot of factors. Some women get there quicker than others. Also, how long has it been she has had an orgasm? You'll notice I didn't ask how long since she has had sex, but how long since she has had an orgasm. Those can be two completely different answers. Women are usually far better at making themselves cum than we are at making them cum, at least before we have trained ourselves. Does your woman always cum when you have sex? Does she EVER cum when you have sex? If the answer is no to either of those, you are not alone.

Remember I said at the beginning that few women cum from penetration only? So if sex isn't doing it for her, what is she going to do? Many times she will take matters into her own hand, literally. Does she have a favorite toy? Watch her use it and see what she does to make herself cum. It can be very instructive, and pretty fucking hot too!

Back to the question of how long... So if has been at least a few days since her last orgasm, her clit may respond a little sooner. Also, how tired is she? Is this something she has been anticipating all day? If a woman has been thinking about what you are going to do to her, it's like pre-heating the oven. Flirt with her during the day. Hint at what you have planned for her later. Does your women like more overt actions? Grab her ass a couple of times during the day and whisper in her ear, "I can't wait to get you naked later." You know your partner. Do what works best for you. If you aren't sure, experiment, or better yet, ASK HER! Some night, over a bottle of wine or your favorite alcoholic beverage, when no sex is planned so there is no pressure, start a conversation about it. "So babe, what do you find a turn on? What can I do during the day to make you anticipate us being together?" You might be surprised at what you find out.

Now I'll finally answer the question of how long you need to work on getting her warmed up before you should touch her clit. Ready? It depends! Ta da! You hate me now don't you? Seriously though, it does. What might work one night won't work another night. Moods are different, circumstances vary. You have to get to know your partner and learn to read the signs. That goes beyond the focus of this story though. For now, let's assume you can read the signs.

Ok, we'll assume you have done your job and gotten her warmed up. You have her in the bedroom, on the couch, in the backseat, wherever you plan on doing this. But I will suggest that comfort rules unless you are going for a quickie or you are so hot for each other that you can't wait. You don't want to be in the heat of the moment, just about to cum, when your leg cramps. Or the corner of the couch starts jamming you in the side. Or you get rug burns on your knees. Or the sand becomes unbearable. Or the ridges in the bed of the pickup are threatening to break your spine. We've all been there. Sometimes the sex is so hot you don't care. But things just work a little better when you aren't fighting discomfort.

Next, set aside enough time. You should plan on at least 30 minutes. Yep, there is a time estimate for you. An hour is better. Ideally, for an average woman, 15 or 20 minutes of warmup works best. Then plan on another 10 or so of directly working toward the orgasm. That is the minimum. I like to plan on at least 15 minutes to directly work on her clit and pussy, and 20 minutes is even better. Perhaps 45 minutes is the sweet spot. It gives you time to make out, suck on her nipples, get her slowly undressed and then ample time to work her to orgasm. An hour is better because you can really take your time, and you also have the possibility of working in multiple orgasms. I know what you are thinking. Hold on there mister! We haven't even gotten one yet and you are talking about multiple? Ok, one thing at a time.

Now we are down to business. She is warmed up, you are down there and ready to start. Go slow. Let me repeat. GO SLOW! Just as you took your time building to this, you need to build to the actual climax too. As I said before, either the clit will be too sensitive early on or you could desensitize it by going to it too early. So tease your way in. For more detail, read my story "Eating Pussy."

You can stimulate the clit with your finger or your tongue. The tongue is softer, has its own source of moisture, and is just more intimate. So it is usually more satisfying that just fingering her. If you have a choice, are you going to pick hand job or blow job? Yeah, I thought so. Either way, when you first start stimulating it, be gentle and don't rub directly on it. Rub around it, very lightly brushing it, whichever you are using. As you learn to read how your woman responds, you will get better at knowing when to accelerate the motion and when to move in to the clit itself.

Once she is starting to respond well from your work, the clit should expand a little it and become easier to stimulate. Watch for her reactions and note "the spots" when you hit them. Ask her what she likes, but learn to read her body language. It speaks volumes.

So maybe you are having a hard time actually finding the clit. Can you find her pussy? Well let's start there then. For this, the finger probably works better. Slide along her slit going up. As you get to the top where her pussy lips close in, that is where you should find it. It may be a very subtle bump or just a different feeling when you rub your finger there. But it is usually covered by the labia. Sometimes is can be right above where the pussy lips come together. Softly rub in that area until she reacts. You might have to do it for more than just a few seconds. Be patient. Let her start to enjoy it.

If you find it with your finger, then move your head down and replace your finger with your tongue. If you tend to lose it in the changeover, then keep your finger on it and put your tongue on your finger, and then slide your finger out from under it. Given some practice, you will learn to find it quickly. Keep working on it, with more pressure and speed as you go. However fast you think is appropriate, decrease it by half. Most women need and want it slow in order to build up to a good orgasm. Again, if you need more help with the techniques themselves, try my story "Eating Pussy."

Now let's suppose you have been rubbing or licking long enough that the clit is very aroused, along with your partner. She is about to climax. Don't let up! Power through, applying pressure and stimulation while she climaxes. However, she can get very sensitive very quickly, so be prepared to back off immediately when she does. Some women can tolerate more stimulation fairly soon after an orgasm, and can even have multiple orgasms. I think most women can, if you know what to do. I'll write more about this soon. For now, take pride in a mission accomplished.

So what have you learned? Go slow, be patient, ask questions, learn to read your partners signs, and the most important point, communicate with her. If talking during sex is uncomfortable for her, then find another time, away from the bedroom, perhaps even away from any environment where you could have sex, and bring it up in a very patient, curious way. When the pressure to "perform" isn't there, it is easier for some people to talk about intimate topics.

Above all else, have fun! Enjoy what you are doing. If you can't find it, don't get anxious. Laugh it off. Make a joke. She can help you find it, and will if she feels relaxed and at ease with you. Once you have discovered how to give your partner orgasms through clitoral stimulation, just keep practicing with different techniques, motions, and speeds. Women are different and respond differently. Don't let that concern you. After all, the exploration is part of the fun!