How to Survive the Winter Holidays If You Are Single

Being single or living alone has unique challenges, which are often magnified during the Winter Holidays. Although the single person quickly gets used to doing daily life activities entirely alone, there is something about holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas that can be devastating. One feels the concept of "aloneness" ever more keenly, as the world revolves around in a seemingly endless circle of families, couples, and other societal groups.

My own story is typical of that of a single man. I'm 66 and have never been married. When I was 40 years old, I purchased a small 1,200 square foot house after renting for many years. I live overlooking a 300 acre lake and the setting is idyllic. However my parents passed away in the mid 2000's as did all my aunts and uncles. Although I have older sisters, they are often not able to do much for the holidays due to health reasons. Neither has children, so I have no nieces and nephews. I do have some cousins my own age and older but I rarely see them.

It has taken many years for me to realize I can have a meaningful life as a single person. Yes, the Winter Holidays are tough because of the often cold and depressing weather, and the short daylength which makes the world dark and depressing.

One of the first things I did to enhance my limited circle of friends was to join a local church. I started as a substitute pianist and gradually strengthened my position, creating a small choir and childrens' handbell group. Although this particular congregation is only about 50 people, most are my own age and very supporting. I have something to do every Sunday, and there are church fairs, rehearsals, meetings, and other commitments to keep me busy. Yes, some churches can be gossipy and very political so you need to choose carefully. One idea is to simply attend a service of a selected church one Sunday and see what kind of "vibes" are being given off by the congregation. If you "feel the love", come back, but if instead you are ignored there are always many other houses of worship to choose from.

Closely related to the idea of joining a church is to subscribe to your town's local newspaper, which is often free. There will generally be a section of weekly Holiday Fairs and other events. These enjoyable offerings almost always rely on volunteers, and you can also do some of your holiday shopping at the same time. While I have not yet met my significant other, I have made MANY new friends who I would have not otherwise have known were it not for the one time fortuitous crossing of varied paths.

While on the topic of the town newspaper, consider inquiring if the editor needs local writers. Although you probably won't be paid very much, during the Winter Holidays in particular there is need for someone to cover the many holiday fairs, Christmas sing alongs, food banks, and many other offerings unique to the season. I have been writing for my town paper for 5 years, and have made many new contacts which have definitely enhanced my life. One enjoyable result of my labors is I am now known around town as the "guy that writes the great stories." Hey, I would be content even if they weren't great! I have made a scrapbook of all my articles, and I make it point that the individual or group being highlighted sign and comment on my copy. The result is a unique document that I can read and enjoy any time I wish.

if you are a single man, consider volunteering to be a Santa Claus at the many Winter Holiday events that call for Jolly Saint Nick. There is something completely rewarding about making small children beam with delight as you promise to bring them their unique list of wants. How can one not be happy being Santa Claus, even if only for a short time? If you are successful in this role, you will be invited back every year, often to multiple events. Talk about making the Winter Doldrums go by quickly!

While I am on the topic of volunteering, one way of making the Winter Holidays more rewarding is to simply look around your neighborhood. Is there anyone that needs the snow from their driveway shoveled? How about a person that is chronically ill and could use a neighbor to get them groceries? Last Saturday I spent most of the day doing small favors for my neighbors. This made me so happy, as I got wonderful compliments for doing the right thing!

During the Winter Holidays, I am also always on the lookout for toy drives or similar causes. There are always those families that cannot afford Holiday presents and it is so simple to buy a few toys and useful gifts, clothes for example that you know will be appreciated and cherished. I try to contribute to a few worthy causes each year, and many times I get letters back from the appreciative recipients which bring tears to my eyes!

The last suggestion I have to get through the seemingly endless Winter Holidays is to join a local Public Speaking group, for example Toastmasters. One can improve confidence and self worth by sharing life experiences with other people, some of which are sure to be alone for the holidays as well. Again, the new friendships made by contributing to these organizations are invaluable, and can make your life a richer and more beautiful experience.

I sincerely hope all single people and others living alone out there have a wonderful Winter Holiday season, and if you have explored other "survival techniques" I haven't touched upon, please share them in the comments section. Together, we WILL get through this! Happy Winter Holidays!!