I stare glumly at the ceiling. I'm laying on my unmade bed, unsure of what went wrong on my last date. He's a nice guy, smart, funny. He even has a nice body. But when he offered to take me back to his place, something in me refused to do it. That happens often. I'm not sure why.
I'm twenty-three years old and I have yet to enjoy sex. I always regret it when I have it. Always. Why?
"Ana?" asks my roommate, opening the door. She's gorgeous, tall with shapely legs and jet black hair. Currently, she's wearing a dominatrix's getup, her job. "You look depressed."
I avoid looking at the way the corset plumps up her breasts and shrug. "My date didn't go so well."
"Why not?"
"I don't know."
My roommate, Bella, looks at me strangely. "You just don't get it, do you?"
"Get what?"
"You're gay."
I blink. "I'm not gay. I'm straight."
Bella chuckles. "You're as gay as the night is dark. I see you when we go out. You watch the women, not the men. You're a flaming homosexual, my dear."
"I am not!" I jump off the bed and glare at her. "Get out."
She leans against the doorframe and smiles with her ruby lips. "Do you want to experience a kiss?"
My heart nearly stops. I'm drawn to the idea, but I can't...
Bella strolls over to the bed, her every movement one of grace. She sits down and pats the space next to her.
Against my better judgment, I sit.
"What harm is a kiss going to do? Maybe you should try it just so you can rule the impossible out."
I lick my lips. "I don't know."
Bella places her hand on my knee.
I'm suddenly very aware that I'm only wearing a bra and some boxer shorts I stole from a boyfriend.
Her hand is warm, soft. "I'm gay."
I frown. "I know."
"I make my living fucking men and that pays the bills, but there's nothing like a woman's love. Why don't you try a kiss? I'd like to kiss you, that beautiful heart-shaped face and round cheeks. You have the face of an angel."
I swallow, tense.
Ever so slowly, Bella cups my face in her hands. "One kiss."
"I've never kissed a woman before," I say, biting my lip.
Bella's eyes darken. "I love when you do that."
"What?"
"Chew on your lip. It's delightful. Makes me think of... One kiss. What are you afraid of? Are you homophobic?"
"No!"
Bella closes the distance and licks my lower lip.
My reaction is immediate. Heat spreads through my entire body. I lick my own lip, seeking her taste.
"Your eyes dilated," says Bella, chuckling. "Now I will kiss you."
My heart is pounding. "Please," I whisper.
Bella dips in again and nibbles my lower lip.
I shiver.
She sucks my lip into her mouth and winds her fingers in my hair, lightly tugging.
Slowly, I place my hands on her hips, wanting to please.
Bella starts moving our lips together, leisurely. No tongue yet, just slow glides of soft, wet skin.
It's a profound experience and I can't help but wonder why I've never been kissed like this before? What have I been missing?
"How are we doing, love?" she asks, parting from me.
I blink, confused. "Um, good."
"Good. I'd like to keep kissing you."
"Umm, do you like me?" I ask, desperate for the answer.
Bella smiles. "Very much. I fantasize about kissing you often."
That makes me shiver.
"Answer me, love. Will you let me kiss you again?"
I hesitate. I'm not homophobic, so why am I afraid of this?
"What are you thinking?" asks Bella gently.
"Am I homophobic?"