Calm yourself.
The quiet voice sounded in my mind through the pandemonium of panic and anxiety, bringing with it blissful silence. I checked my reflection in the bathroom mirror, thankful no one else was in the office's toilets to see my mini-meltdown. My grey face stared blankly back at me, not far from being devoid of life and emotion, it was hard to believe that I was only in my early twenties, the face staring back at me looked like it had aged a fair bit more than the twenty-one years that I had lived. I slumped, leaning on the counter as I rinsed my face with cold water, hoping the shock would liven me up a little. My suit looked equally tired, but I could barely afford to survive, let alone buy new clothes.
My life wasn't always this tragic. Barely five years ago, I signed a youth contract with an English Premier League football club. It had been a dream come true; I had the body of an athlete, healthy support from family and friends, and a lucrative future ahead of me; that was all until tragedy struck in an under-eighteen game for the club I had signed a contract to play for.
Rumours were that the first team manager, a worldwide renowned character within the sport, planned to show up and watch, and I was fired up for the game and ready to impress. The game started well, confidence flowed through me with a fluidity that I produced on the pitch, and every time I skilled past an opponent, I grew more arrogant, teasing the defender at his inability to stop me. The fourth time I humiliated the defender, and passed him with ease, he'd had enough with my attitude and he lashed out with a dangerous tackle, severely breaking my ankle in the process.
From that moment on, my life fell downhill rapidly. The decline started with an addiction to the strong pain medication that the club's doctor prescribed. To deal with the depression of not being able to play football, I started drinking and smoking weed, and despite the best efforts from Alice, my girlfriend at the time, to motivate me and aid me on the road to recovery, my addictions spiralled to include drinking, gambling and taking 'Class A' drugs. The club caught wind of my activities and terminated my contract for breach of conduct. It was funny, despite being the architect of my downfall, there was no support from the club on how to handle becoming incredibly wealthy, so suddenly, at a young age.
Exasperated, Alice left me, feeling hopeless in her inability to help me return to being the person she fell in love with. It probably didn't help that I stole money from her to fuel my growing addictions, and cheated on her numerous times. After Alice left, the addictions continued to take control of my life. I jumped from relationship to relationship, desperately trying to replicate what I had with Alice before the injury. The money from the lucrative contract was rapidly diminishing, and I soon had to remortgage the house I was still paying for. I ended up having to rent a run-down flat in a bad part of the city,
So, that was why I found myself nervously standing in the bathroom of a shared office building, rueing the day I had an abundance of charisma and charm that would have seen me nail this interview. I was only applying for the role of a part-time cleaner, since I didn't finish even my basic qualifications because of my aspiration of becoming a professional footballer there weren't a lot of options open to me. I was hoping that a less popular and lower-paid role like this would also stop them from looking too closely into my background since there were convictions on my file for drug possession and drunk and disorderly behaviour. If I didn't get a job soon, I'd end up homeless, and due to my excessive gambling, I owed some seriously nasty people a whole lot of money.
I tidied myself up to the best of my ability, took a deep breath, and then tried to push my chest out confidently as I exited the bathroom and took the lift to where the company was based. The large complex housed over twenty businesses, each sharing the space for a lower rent solution to getting started in their field. AAC Designs, the company I applied to was based on the sixth floor of the building. Specialising in interior and exterior designs, AAC Designs was growing exponentially and had recently moved into the largest office space available in this building. Although the number of people the company employed was rising quickly, the work kept coming as they became further renowned for the quality of their work. Although I doubted I would be asked what I knew about the company while applying for the role of a cleaner, I was sure it wouldn't hurt to look them up before the interview.
It was quarter-to-eight when I strolled into AAC Designs office, fifteen minutes before they were due to close for the evening. Just a quarter of an hour to try and make a start to try and fix my broken life before it was too late. I walked up to the reception desk, manned by an attractive young woman, and a young employee in a suit attempting to flirt with her. The guy was good-looking, but it was clear the receptionist would make him earn the date. As I approached the desk, they both appeared irritated that I had interrupted them. I felt the receptionist's gaze as she judged my ragged appearance. She then made a quick phone call and guided me to a separate room with glass windows at the back of the office.
"Sorry, Miss Cadell. This is Alex Fletcher, your last interview candidate."
The receptionist held the door open for me to enter. The room was a mess of unfiled paperwork, with scrumpled bits of paper all over the floor. The rubbish bins hadn't been emptied, there were filing cabinets open and out of sorts. Outside the office, other workers were working at their desks, looking equally cluttered.
"Thank you, Felicity. Can you handle the end-of-day procedure with the staff so we can leave on time?"
The voice awakened something within my mind, A nearly forgotten memory of when I was excited about my future. Curiously, I looked towards the woman hidden behind the computer screen. When she stood to greet me, my eyes widened in recognition. The slender, leggy blonde in front of me was Alice. Three years had passed since I last saw her, but she looked virtually the same, if not better than I remembered. I could tell from her face as she studied my face, that she was noting the many differences from when she had last seen me. Years of alcohol and drug abuse had taken their toll, and while I had been incredibly handsome when we were together, the signs of my addictions were evident now.
"Alex, it's been a while. I hope you are well?"
Any optimism I held for this interview being a success was rapidly diminishing, Alice had a lot of valid reasons not to employ me.
"Alice." I smiled weakly, my hand shaking as I shook her hand, my legs turning to jelly as I took the seat opposite her. She remained entirely professional as she conducted the interview, seemingly not allowing her feelings and opinions to get in the way of what she was doing.
"Look, Alex. We both know you have had issues in the past with alcohol and drugs. Can you guarantee me that all of that is behind you now?"
Alice couldn't hide the sadness she felt inside any longer, and I watched her wipe a tear from her eye. I had betrayed this woman's trust time after time when she was the only one offering me support for my bad decisions. The truth was, however, that they weren't. I struggled to remain sober, and although I needed the money desperately, there was still a chance I'd spend some of it on drugs and alcohol.
"Yes." I lied. My whole body was stiff, waiting for Alice to see through me. She sighed, sat down, and then offered me the job. I would be on a probationary contract for the first three months and paid weekly, working twelve hours an evening from just after the company closed at eight. Things were finally starting to look up for me.
The first two weeks at the job went very well. I never met any of the staff, other than Alice who briefed what she expected done throughout the evening. My enthusiasm for improving my life was slowly beginning to wane through the boredom and loneliness I experienced. I was used to a life of luxury and partying, not kneeling under desks of people I didn't even know removing cobwebs for minimum wage.
