Chapter15
April couldn't even remember when he untied her from the suspension rope. She was suddenly aware that she was sitting nakedly in Steve's lap and he was massaging the kinks out of her muscles. They were sitting in a wingback chair looking out the window towards the mountains. The sun had set long ago and it was black as only the country side can be, but the moon was bright enough to get a silhouette from the mountains.
Her body hummed and vibrated in ways that made her remember how she got here. She was shaking as if she had been left naked in a snow drift, but Steve held her reverently and was honoring her with his caresses. His tender and soothing attention to her needs left her heart aching with the love she felt. He lavished tender kisses on her head and over her face, letting her know that he loved her too.
She curled deeper into his lap, she threw her arms around his neck and gulped a deep cleansing breath. She pressed her face into the crook of his shoulder as her catharsis began. Tears poured out of her eyes in torrents as the last several hours finally caught up with her. She had experienced pleasure, discipline, caring, security, spanking, orgasms and pain she never imagined. She had been forever changed in a magnificent way. Her blinders had been violently ripped off, forcing her to see herself clearly for the first time.
She looked down at her body curled in his lap and saw his marks all over her body. Her breasts were red and inflamed with little red lines from the flogger crossing them. Her nipples were a fiery pink, engorged and angry as they begged for attention. She felt his rough shirt provoking her ultra sensitive nipples, because they really wanted to feel his skin against them. She had remembered him taking off his shirt; when had he put it on again?
Her belly, hips and legs were likewise crisscrossed with lashes from the flogger. The insides of April's thighs were glistening with her female nectar and a huge wet spot on his pants were a testament to her passion. She quivered as she saw the lashes over her body and remembered what they felt like, but inside she knew he had claimed her and marked her as his own. Everything she was looking at was the physical manifestation of their time together. Inside he had touched her heart with pleasure beyond compare and her heart, mind and soul all bore his marks.
She was feeling things she couldn't explain, but she knew they were things she wanted. April pulled her face from his shoulder and looked into his probing eyes and even now she knew he could read her most intimate thoughts. She glanced at his shirt seeing it stained with her tears and she looked up with a plea in her watery, red eyes.
Steve immediately understood what she wanted and disengaged her arms so she was sitting freely on his lap. He reached down to the bottom of the shirt with both hands and a single motion stripped it over his head. Before he had even dropped the shirt by the chair April's lips had attacked his chest and kissed their way lovingly up to his neck.
She felt the muscles of his broad chest rippling under her hands and lips as she hungrily kissed him. His manly scent filled her nose, as the fine hairs on his chest tickled her face. His bare chest was everything she had imagined and more; strong, virile, powerful and dominantly masculine. She put her arms back around his neck as she snuggled back against him, but this time with her skin against his and they fit perfectly together. Her hard nipples weaved through his chest hair until they could snuggle hard against his chest.
As his thick arms pulled her tighter against his chest she felt so wanted and so secure. His arms crushing her against his chest were not trying to keep her from escaping; they were showing her that she was desired more than he could put into words. Hidden inside his arms she felt the whole different set of senses. They heat of his chest warmed her, making her feel safe and pushed away deepest fears. His scent reminded her of comfort food, and she felt cozy and sheltered. The pounding of his heart made her feel love and while her heart reciprocated, she still felt scared.
Yesterday she had been a spoiled, bratty woman. She was strong-willed, intelligent and knew how beautiful she was, yet she always struck out when it came to love or relationships. She knew men desired her, but was unsure of how to find love. No one seemed to want her mind, or heart, they only seemed to want her body and those that she had given it to only wanted it once.
Because she spoke her mind, stood her ground and defended those that couldn't defend themselves, people labeled her a bitch. When she spurns those that only see her as a vessel for their abuse or lust, she is branded a frigid bitch. Her courage and strength pushed away those people that would just step on her or squash all the strength and beauty inside. They desired to possess her body, casting aside her heart, mind, love and soul, and that was something she couldn't allow.
Then came Steve and her world was turned upside down. The minute she had seen him she had wanted him. Physically he was everything she desired and everything she dreamed of. Every time she saw him, she quivered with desire and after their first kiss she could think of nothing else except him. Maybe that's what love is, not equals getting together, but explosions of dreams and desires that light up the sky with fireworks.
Now she has found a man who glories in her strength, respects her mind, understands her fears, cherishes her heart and protects her soul. He can see inside her heart and seems to know her innermost thoughts. Steve makes her open and vulnerable and she can't hide who she is from him. He acknowledges her flaws and her faults only make him love her more. Steve has earned her trust and love by accepting only the very best from her. He realizes that her passion is her greatest strength and her submission the greatest gift a man can receive.
Steve has guided her to feel unimagined emotions, pleasures never before conceived and a love that nourishes her soul. She chooses to give herself to him, not because she has to, but because she yearns for him to own her. April needed his power to tame her strength and for him to punish her when she gets out of line. She needs him to bring out the very best of her and not allow her to fall back into old habits.
Her internal voices cried out for this, for him to dominate her. She wants to give him all she is and have him cherish her mind, heart, body and most of all love her. However, she has external voices echoing in her head. What would everyone think if they saw her hanging from the rafters, being used as a sex toy? Would they think she is sick or perverted? Would they pity her and turn their backs on her?
She will be his as long as he wants her, but in her own mind can she really admit she needs a man like Steve. Will she let him push her in line and submit to him even when it's hard? April wondered if she could admit to herself that she is a sexual submissive. Can she make herself open and available, making herself vulnerable, inviting total intimacy? Did she want to be pursued, fucked, loved and possessed by Steve whenever he wanted?