That old 2:30 feeling was coming on again. Another week was drawing to a close, and it pressed upon me as a dull thud inside my skull. The Allan's Calibrations project had been due this morning, and with the incessant calls from Mister Simons, I had barely gotten the portfolio into Eunice on time. Other projects sat waiting for approval on my desk, nattering obligation and stress; undertones to the percussive throb in my temples. I stood up and tried to massage the ache away, pretending to watch my team as they poured over design schematics. They were working hard, as they always did. I really don't know how I'd do things without them. I never had the head for science. I was always better at finding and controlling the money than coming up with new ideas. But they'd never get anything done if I didn't bring in the cash. It's a partnership, but it's tough being the boss sometimes. I tried to push into the paperwork, knowing I added something essential to the process. Sometimes, it gives me some resiliency to the stress. But at the end of this week, fulfilling duty just didn't cut it.
I had worked for this position in project management for a long time. I followed daddy's footsteps, and surpassed him a while ago. I'm proud of the work I've done, the things I've helped create, and the success that's come with it. I was never much attracted to the parties and social life which so many of my girlfriends got caught up in. There were goals to be set and made, things to do! And if you wanted to be the one doing them, reaping the rewards, you had to control yourself. That control bought my suite on the 30th floor, let me look out at this spectacular city as a whole, let me have those finer things in life. I'm especially proud that I earned them, got these things for myself. While Ayn Rand had overstated it, I believed deeply in the power of an individual, that talented people drive the world forward, and that I am one of those people.
I picked up and sped through a memo from the legal department on the minueta of a revised standardized form. I managed to push through the slog of my headache and distill its points into an email for my team. I pitched the hardcopy across the room to settle atop the pile of missed shots by the waste basket. I looked up at the clock; it was still shy of three in the afternoon. Time seemed to be stretching and slowing, trapping me in the tensions of the workplace. I looked out her window for a moment, and without willing it, my mind slipped unexpectedly into anticipation. He penetrated my thoughts, briefly. His face did not even fully resolving before the sensation of moist lust filled me. I had to grab onto my work like an anchor, reigning me in against carnal desire. "Discipline" I whispered aloud, opening a new brief.
There was a knock on the doorframe, drawing my attention up, "Gearing up for the weekend already, Alyssa?" It was Charles. His smug face loomed in the doorway.
"What, Charles?"
"Just wanted to let you know that Johnston has given me the Iben project."
Fucking great. I had wanted that project. The Iben analysis system, once operational, would be a real career highlight. I sighed, having no energy left for the cattiness which defined Charles. He was a petty and small-minded man, whose cunning suggested more intelligence than he had. I looked up at him, "Good for you. I have things to do." gesturing down at her desk.
"Oh, I'm sure." He laughed at his own sarcasm as he strode away. I wanted to drive the arrogant prick's face through the plate glass of my window. My head pounded and I tried rubbing at my temples again. Useless.
"He's an ass." I looked up to see Emily, my executive assistant, smiling down at me.
"Thanks, he is."
"You look spent, Alyssa. It's been a long week for you. I know you've been in here until 9 o'clock most nights this week."
"Comes with the job." I let my eyes subtly wander the long, lithe lines of Emily's nubile young body, appreciating her understated sensuality. The throb of my pulse found purchase in my sex, granting a moment where the headache was at least not getting worse.
Emily perched on the corner of the desk, her skirt crawling up her smooth, shapely legs, "Look, there's nothing here that you need to do today. I can get these documents turned in by 5 for you; the rest can wait until Monday." She took my hand. My breath caught in my throat at the sensation of her soft fingers. In that instant, I hoped He would one day order me to seduce her. My mind racing away on me again. Of course, she was just being a good assistant, and pressed a small yellow tablet into my hand, "Take this, go home, and we'll see you Monday."
"You're sure?" I squeaked, imagination of her flowing into anticipation of Him. The throb returned to my loins.
"Absolutely! I've got you covered, Alyssa."
That was all I needed to hear. I quickly thanked Emily and grabbed my things. I paused at the doorway to make sure Charles was not watching. He was busy making an ass of himself with a delivery girl. I hurried out to the elevator and out to the garage. By the time I made the car, my panties were saturated. The throb in my head was falling away to a hungry void within, desperate for heat and use.
The drive home was a blur. Anticipation and uncertainty mixed in my sex, building a bon fire of lust inside. All the focus on work, the effort and discipline, I could feel it slipping from my mind. It was giving way to the obedience which only He could elicit from me. He scorns the world of value and profit. He laughs at ideas about economy and progress. All the power and prestige I work so hard to build and maintain is dust to Him, ashes scatter on the hot winds of His animal prowess. I can never put into words what He does to me, or how He does it. And while I can think about it now, that afternoon, all I knew was desire for Him. He would break me, and I would thank him for the beauty of the shards.