The Author gives special thanks to his editor Ladylustful, who provided both grammar and content guidance.
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At the end of my exam my Dermatologist, Dr. Mike Stevens, said "James, I'm retiring at the end of the year, and you need to find a new doctor. I've added a new partner, whom I recommend. He's a recent graduate, and he's a great guy. I'm sure you'll like him."
I've heard that same phrase a lot recently. As I've gotten older, a number of my physicians have retired, forcing me to find new doctors, who are often very young and inexperienced. Years ago, I made the decision to opt for experienced doctors instead of those my age or younger. The irony is that when I didn't really need experienced doctors, I had them. Now that I've reached the age where I need experienced doctors, I have green ones.
Living in New Orleans and having been born in the Irish Channel, I had the perfect storm for skin cancer: lots of sun and pale Irish skin. Since I had a few skin cancer spots removed, I've been really serious about my skin care. "Mike, I appreciate your recommendation, but I'm looking for someone with more experience. Can you recommend someone who has 20 or more years that you think would be a good fit for me?"
He looked me in the eye, and seemed to be trying to figure out what he should say. Finally, he smiled, and said "James, there's a Doctor who I think would be the perfect fit for you. This Doctor is in very high demand, but I think I could use my influence to get you an appointment. The protocol that you'll have to follow is a lot more ..." Dr. Stevens seemed to be unsure of the exact right word, but then continued, "... stringent and will require your absolute adherence." He went on to say that Dr. Lee was 50, about 6 years younger than me, and was the prior president of the state's dermatological society.
Dr. Stevens excused himself for a few minutes to make the call, and I could hear a few words through the doorway "... James Travis ... squamous ... basal ... protocol ... obedient ..." What the hell did obedient mean? Anyway, Dr. Stevens came back to see me a few minutes later and said I was set up. "Jim" he said, "I had to go out on a limb for you with Dr. Lee." Laughing, and shaking my hand, he said "Please don't miss your appointment; I want a peaceful retirement."
I didn't remember Dr. Stevens acting so oddly before, and I figured it was either time for his retirement, or he had always been a little flaky but hid it from his patients. Now that he was retiring, he didn't bother to hide it.
The six months passed quickly, as I followed Dr. Stevens's protocol of self-examination and daily use of sun screen. I showed up for my 1:00 pm appointment a few minutes early, since I thought I'd have a lot of paperwork as a new patient. I was right; I had 15 minutes of medical history and insurance coverage paperwork, and then sat and waited, and waited, and waited. Having been a long term patient of Dr. Stevens, I was always able to score end of day appointments which were very convenient for me as I could leave work an hour early, see the doctor, and be home at my normal time.
I approached the receptionist, and said "Excuse me Miss...," Looking at her name tag "Emily. I've been waiting for quite a while, what time do you think I'll be seeing the Doctor?"
Emily smiled her best fake smile, and said "The Doctor had an unexpected procedure, and we've been behind ever since. Honey, we'll get to you as soon as we can." I had to smile at the "Honey" remark. Anywhere else, it would be a complete put-down, but Emily was definitely a local, and that's how women talk to men here, regardless of their relative ages.
Finally, I was called in at 1:45. Nurse Barb took my vitals and asked a slew of medical history questions, most of which were already on the form I'd filled out. Barb was cute, and obviously frazzled by their schedule, so I bit my tongue and answered her questions again. She then showed me a drawing of a nude male, front and back, and said "Hon, just show me where you've had cancer treatments before, and anywhere you want the doctor to provide additional attention."
I indicated the forehead, and upper back. "I don't really have any problems right now", I said, "but I'd like the Doctor to give me an exam. I know what to look for on my forehead, but I never saw the spot on my back."
She circled the forehead, and asked "How many spots on your forehead?"
"Three", I replied.
"The Back?" she asked. "Only one", I answered.
She circled the forehead and wrote a 3 there, and wrote a 1 on the back. She then asked "Anything else in particular that you want examined?" I imagined that she was holding her pen right over the crotch in the picture as she asked, but I was letting my imagination get the best of me.
Barb then opened a drawer, and pulled out a bundle. She handed it to me and said "Undress and put this on; the open side goes to the back." My imagination was really running wild now, and I had to calm myself down. The last thing I'd want is to have this new doctor walk in and see another guy with a hard-on. I thought back, and Dr. Stevens had never had me strip like this. In fact, I only removed clothes when I said I wanted him to take a look at a problem area. I was trying to convince myself that this was a good thing, and that Dr. Lee was just more thorough than Dr. Stevens.