Whispers in the Night

To say my brain was in a whirl that week would have been the understatement of the century. I could not quit thinking about having my Mom's breast in my hand. I could not stop thinking about her reaching down to my cock. Jeez! What was I doing? What was she doing? She had to know the effect on me. She had to know what I wanted with her. What were we doing? Where was this going?

I decided that the best course of action was to do nothing. If I stopped my advances, she wouldn't take up the lead, so it would stop there. No harm, no foul. I knew she and Dad had had some rocky moments in their marriage, and I knew that sex between them was a rare thing, indeed. I mean, their bedroom, my sister Sandra's bedroom, and mine were all clustered on the second floor of the house - of course Sandra and I listened for things that go bump in the night. But all that said, Mom and Dad seemed to get along great now. Maybe they lived more like business partners than husband and wife, but at least they got along. I couldn't risk harming the harmony of the family.

But I couldn't let it go. She did, after all, have her hand on my dick. If that's not a signal, then I don't know what is, so I was torn between taking the bitt in my teeth and going for it, and just chalking it up to a hot experience that went nowhere.

My best friend, Colin, noticed something was wrong with me. "What's going on, Stevie Boy?"

"Oh, nothing," I replied as I got up to get more coffee at the Student Union. I thought maybe Colin would drop it.

He didn't. "You've been moping around for weeks," he said, as he stirred sugar in. "Girl problems? That redhead in American History? What? Did she look at you or something?"

Colin was a chick magnet. He was everything I was not, but mostly he was confident, and that came from his many experiences with women. If there was anyone who might be able to give me advice, it was Colin, but of course I would have to couch any questions carefully. I couldn't say, "Colin, should I fuck my Mother?"

So, I put it another way. "Well, there is this woman who's giving me signals, I think. I just don't know where to go with it."

"Ah, ha! I knew it. I can always tell. Who is she? Do I know her? What signals?"

"Uh, yeah. I don't know. Well, she's older, and I've never tried something with a mature woman. I don't know how to do it."

"Older woman?" Colin pursed his lips and blew out. "Man, they're the best. They don't expect a lot from you, and the sex is great. Have an older woman, and you'll never want these college chicks again. How old?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe 50?"

"Fifty?" Colin spewed his coffee. "Holy shit. When you go older, you go older. I was thinking maybe 25 or so. What? You making a move on your Mom?" He laughed and then got quiet when he saw how red my face must have looked.

"Oh," he said quietly as he looked around to make sure the tables near us were empty. "Oh."

I stammered, "No, no. Nothing like that. No way."

Colin looked at me. We'd been buds for a long time, even before high school, and he knew me as well as anyone. "Dude," he whispered as he looked down at his coffee. "Dude. It happens. You're thinking you're the only one in the world who's in this situation, right?"

"Uh, huh." Damn. Colin could always get the better of me, and he had just gotten me to admit that I wanted to fuck Mom. Damn.

He was silent for a very long time, and I thought, "Well, there's a friend gone. Who'd want to be friends with a perv who's trying to fuck his Mother?"

Then he spoke quietly. "Maybe you're misreading it. Sure, you want to fuck her. Who wouldn't?" He threw his hands up at my sharp glance. "No, no, Dude. Don't get all worked up. You do know, though, that our Moms were always the choice MILFs in the group? For us, anyway."

I calmed down. I guess my emotions were in high gear.

"So? Are you misreading it?"

"I don't think so. I just don't know, Man. I don't know if I should drop it, or go for it."

Colin got an even more serious look on his face. "I'm going to tell you something, and I'm telling you only because I trust you and because you need to trust me and tell me everything. Right? We clear on that? What I tell you, you can tell no one."

I nodded. I didn't know where this was going, but I sure wanted to hear it.

"OK." He paused. The words "dramatic effect" really meant something to me at that moment, and I leaned in to hear him better. He continued. "You ever wonder why I seem to get so much pussy?"

I laughed. Hell, yes, I wondered that, but figured it was just because he was, well, Colin.

"I get so much pussy because I'm confident. That's all it takes. And you know why I'm so confident?"

I shook my head.

"I'm so confident because I've jumped the highest hurdle. There's nothing I can't do, because I've done what I thought was impossible. I made the impossible, possible."

He let that sink in and it seemed he was waiting for me to say something. "You mean...?"

He grinned. "You're my best friend, and I trust you above all others. You'd better not fuck me over on this. You'd better carry this to your grave. But, yeah."

"Wait," I stammered a little. "You mean you..." I just couldn't say it, so he looked around to check again that no one could hear us.

"Yep," he whispered. "I'm fucking Mom."

I don't think my jaw could have dropped any lower. My brain spun at a thousand miles an hour. I pictured his Mom, Cara. She was the perfect soccer Mom. She brooked no nonsense from any of us, but she was a lot of fun. She and Mom were friends. She was pretty, not beautiful, but damn. Fucking her?

"No way," I said, reaching down to the essence of my eloquence. "No way."

"Yep. Way."

"Good God. I had no idea. Are you just spoofing me? Tell me everything."

"No, I'm not shitting you. The reason you never suspected was because we have rules, and Rule Number One is that no one can ever know."

"But you just told me."

He shook his head. "I know. You can never let on to Mom. Don't ever even hint at it. But you need help, and you're my Bud. You think I wasn't right where you are? I was terrified once I thought it could happen. I don't want you to go through what I did."

I thought back. Yep, Colin had a hard patch about a year ago. He was despondent and nothing I could do would cheer him up. I thought he was having trouble academically. Then, it seemed like overnight he was the old Colin again. I reckoned he must have aced a test or something. "About a year ago?"

"Yep. Exactly. Now tell me, what's going on? Why do you think you have a shot at this?"

I wanted to hear everything about him and Cara, but that could come later. I told him everything. Everything.

Colin whistled lowly when I finished. If this was all a ruse to get me to confess what a pervert I was, it had worked. I didn't think Colin would do that to me, though.

"Wow," he said, then he got up to get more coffee for us. This was definitely going to be a multi-cup day.

When he got back to the table, he picked up where he had left off. "Wow. I've been there. Almost exactly there. I was more assertive than you, but I've been there. Look, Stevie. Forgive me, but I just can't get the picture out of my head of Kim's hand on your cock, but then I think of Mom's hand on mine. It's mind-blowing, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah," I agreed. "It is that, isn't it?"

He thought a minute, then continued. "Once I had Mom's hand on my dick, I knew I was in. It wasn't quite like you and Kim, but almost. I was kissing her and she was kissing me back, and I took her hand and put it on my cock. I figured that was worth a thousand words, and it was. Oh, it didn't go as smoothly as I wanted, I'll tell you that. But from that point on it was not a question of if we would do it, but when we would do it. Now I'm sure you've got all sorts of questions, so fire away."

I didn't know where to begin, so I asked the most burning question that was bothering me. "Are we freaks? Are we perverts?"

Colin laughed. "If we are, then a lot of other people are, too."

"What? You mean...."

"Hell, yes," he interrupted me. "You think you're a pervert because you're making a move on your Mom. I'll tell you, just on numbers alone, that does not make you a pervert." He chuckled a little. "Now you might be a pervert. I've always thought you were, you perv, but it's not because of that.

"You mean other guys are doing it with their Moms?"

Colin looked around the Student Union. "How many guys are in here right now? A hundred?"

I looked around, too. "Yeah, maybe." It was the height of breakfast/coffee time. I looked at the guy who was nearest to us, a couple of tables away, and laughed. He was a typical nerd.

Colin followed my gaze and laughed, too. "Yeah, even him. Maybe especially him. You just never know." He continued. "With a hundred guys in here, that means there are anywhere from five to 20 guys right now that are fucking their Moms or have gotten pretty far along the way. Statistically, I mean."

I shook my head. "I had no idea."

"Of course you didn't. Mom and I have talked about it a lot. She said that every Mother has wondered what it would be like to fuck her son. You and I know that every son wants to fuck his Mom. Put the two together, and it's bound to happen more often than you can imagine."

"Every Mother thinks about fucking her son?"

"Sure," Colin said. He leaned forward. "Mom told me that our sexuality was a common topic of discussion among the Moms' group. They used to try to guess who was getting laid, and who wasn't. If they're talking about that, it's a short throw to thinking about doing it themselves. So put your mind to ease, Brother. You're no pervert - you're just normal. Now what's bothering you?

"I don't want to screw up their marriage. I don't want to screw up the family."

"Then be very, very careful. From what you've told me, it's going to happen. You just have to make sure that no one ever gets the right idea. You remember John Baker and his Mom?"

My eyes went wide. Of course I remembered, but John's Mom was, well, kind of a stick in the mud. I nodded, and then asked, "John was fucking her? How do you know?"

"Oh, I don't, believe me." He giggled. "But once you're a player, you can spot a player. You remember how she always spoiled him? You remember how they always were so huggy with each other when we couldn't stand to be in the same room with our parents? You didn't think that was a little odd?"

"Yeah, but I just thought they were closer than we were with our Moms."

"You remember how when he would ask for something she'd always say, 'I can never tell you no, John. Whatever you want.' You remember that?"

I nodded.

"Put yourself in his shoes. You want to fuck her, and she's always told you that she can never say no to you. Where do you think it went?"

Wow. Mind blown. Now I played back every memory of when we were around John and his Mom - I couldn't even remember her name. But they were always "huggy." Holding hands. Arms around each other's waist. Kissing on the mouth when she'd drop him off at school our senior year. I just thought John was weird and didn't want to drive like the rest of us after we turned 18.

"You've got a point," I told Colin. "I know what I would have done with it. I just never put two and two together.

"And that's what makes it perfect for you and Kim to have an affair. Who would suspect? Everyone will just see a Mom and her son, and think nothing of it. If you don't do something stupid that will cause someone to suspect, then it's the perfect cover. Now, where are you on this? You going for it or not?"

"One minute I'm for it, and one minute I'm not. Before we started talking, I had decided to just drop everything and act like it never happened."

Colin shook his head. "That would be a bad thing, Dude."

"Why?"

"Think about it. Right now your Mom is going through the same agony you are. She wants it, but she doesn't want it. She doesn't want you to lose respect for her. That's number one. She doesn't want to scar you for life, which she's afraid might happen. So, if you drop it and don't make any more moves on her, you're as much as telling her that you think it's wrong and that you think less of her. You're essentially telling her that she was just a plaything to you. You want that?"

"Hell, no," I answered, shaking my head emphatically.

"Do you love her?"

"Of course I love her," I said. Of course I loved her. She was Mom. I might not have told her as much as I should have, but I did love her.

"Have you called her every couple of days since all this went down?"

"No. I'm afraid to. I'm afraid she'll read me the Riot Act. I've seen her on the weekends, though."

"That's a mistake. What would happen with one of your girlfriends if you had gotten to second base and then you didn't call her? Hmmmm?"

He was right. That was a basic rule - always call the next day if you don't see her. Even if you do see her, call anyway. It was basic. "If I didn't call, then I guess I would have just blown it, right?"

"Yep. But this is your Mom. You can't blow it with her, you can just make it a little more difficult to get back where you were. You going home this weekend?"

"I'd planned on it."

"I can tell you, if you go home and try to pick up where you left off, you're going to get shut down. You've made it look to her like it's just a passing fancy for you. This has been going on for weeks, and you haven't called her? You've hurt her feelings."

"So what can I do?"

"I'd say you'd better call her. I've got to get to class now," he said as he picked up his books. "We'll talk again later. But call her."

So I did. As soon as he left, I grabbed my cellphone and called.

"Steve? What's going on?," she asked when she answered.

"Nothing. I just wanted to check in. How you doing?"

"I'm okay," she said, and I could sense a little coolness. "I was just heading out to the grocery. You okay?"

"Yeah," I said. "I've just been thinking about a lot. I love you, Mom."

I could see her face in my mind. "Oh, Stevie. I've been thinking a lot, too. We've been getting pretty carried away, didn't we?" She laughed, so I knew she wasn't mad.

"Yeah, I guess, but I loved every second. I can't stop thinking about it."

"Oh, Honey, me, too. But we really can't do that, can we? We really can't lose control like that again."

"I can't help it, Mom." A 22-year-old man, and I was on the verge of crying. "I can't help it. I want you so much I can't stand it."

"I know, Baby. I've known it for a long time. But you know there are some things we want that we just can't have."

I did know that, but I wasn't going to give up so easily. "But there are some things we want that we can have, if we want them enough and we're careful about it."

She sighed. "Stevie, I can't tell you I don't want the same thing, but look at all the people we'll hurt. Your Father. Your Sister. Father McConnell."

I laughed out loud. Father McConnell was our old priest, and I don't think he even knew what year it was half the time. "Well," I said, still laughing, "We'll just have to make sure Father McConnell never finds out. Or anyone else, either." I adopted a stern tone in my voice. "No midnight confessions for you, young lady."

That made her laugh, too. "Oh, my! Can you imagine Father McConnell if someone told him that in the Confessional? Oh, my. You've got me there - I was just going to tell him." She continued laughing.

That was a good thing. I had her laughing. "That's Rule Number One, Mom," I said to her. "No one, and I mean no one, can ever know. Our little secret."

"You mean you won't even tell Colin?," she asked, still laughing.

Damn. That hit close to home. "Not even Colin," I said, "Although I suspect he's love the same thing with Cara." If they had been talking about us, Mom and Cara and their gang, let's see how she handled that.

She giggled a little. "I'm not so sure Cara hasn't thought about it," she whispered, "but don't ever tell Colin."

"I won't," I replied seriously, while thinking that Mom had no idea of how much Cara had thought about it and I couldn't wait to tell him. "So you do want the same thing? Do you?" I was practically frantic and I'm sure that was in my voice.

"Honey, we can't talk about this now. Maybe this weekend we'll have a chance to talk about it, but I'm telling you, don't get your hopes up, Big Boy. You have no idea how scared I am right now. I wanted to call you, but I was afraid. I thought I'd messed up forever. I just got carried away. Thank you for calling me. I was afraid you were thinking the worst, and would never talk to me again."

"I love you, Mom. We can talk all you want, but you know what I want to do, and it ain't talking."

She laughed. "Don't say ain't, and we'll try to talk this weekend."

"Is Dad going fishing?"

"You'll have to come and see, won't you? See you then."

Colin and I got together that evening in his dorm room and I told him about calling Mom. He made me repeat everything, as best I could remember it.

"You're in, Laddie," he said in an exaggerated Scottish accent. "Don't you know? Talking about it is almost as good as doing it. You're in."

I grinned. I hoped so.

"But," he said with a serious look on his face. "There are some things you need to be clear on."

"Like what? Use a condom?"

"Maybe, if you've been with anyone else lately, but that's not what I mean. You love your Mom, right?"

"We've been through this. Yes," I said with a little exasperation in my voice.

"Then never hurt her. She's not a college gal you can jump on one night at a party and never call again. Think about it. You can't break up with your Mom. Another thing she's going to be worried about, if she hasn't thought about it already, is that she doesn't want to screw up your life. She wants you to meet someone and get married. I know, I know...," he said when he saw the look on my face. "I know, that's the last thought in your mind right now, but it's near the top in hers. Just promise me. Take it slow and easy. Don't rush things. Make sure that when you do it, it's the right decision for both of you and there will be no regrets. This is going to be the biggest thing in your life for both of you, so make sure you do it right."

The next day was Friday and then it was Saturday, and I called home early in the afternoon. Mom answered.

"Hi, Mom. I was thinking about supper. You up for a guest?"

"No," she said seriously, "but I'm up for my son. You coming over?"

"With bells on," I said, and then ran for my car.

When I got home, I rushed in and Mom met me at the back door. I took her in my arms and squeezed her tight, my cock pushing against her. She had to know. She leaned back, looked me in the eyes, and then kissed me deeply. "Score!," I thought. "He shoots. He scores. I'm in."

I kissed her back, sliding my hands down to her ass. She pushed against me, ran her hands down to my butt, and moaned in my mouth.

"Oh," she said when she pulled away. "My vow to cool things off didn't last very long, did it?" She giggled.

I looked in her eyes and lightly ran my hand across her breast. She shivered, and pushed me away. "Go on," she said. "The football god awaits."

If this sounds like a replay of our previous encounters, it's because it was. I thought I was trapped in a time loop, like Groundhog Day. After dinner we ended up on the couch again, snuggled together under the blanket. My hands were on her thigh, rubbing gently, and she was purring like a kitten. "You like that?," I whispered, rubbing my right had up her leg a little.

"Umm," she whispered back, "but that's as far as it's going. Dial it back a little, please."

"Dial it back?" I thought. After she's had her hand on my cock?

She looked at Dad to make sure he was engrossed in the game. He was. She put her mouth close to my ear. "What you want probably isn't going to happen, but it's sure not if you let your Father see you acting like that around me. Now, cool it. Just sit here and be good to your Mother."