"Ooooooh, this is SO unfair!"
Jessica fumed as she stomped around her room. Her mother had just grounded her for two whole weeks because she had dared, DARED, go to Deb's sleepover without permission. Well, maybe it wasn't so much because she went to the sleepover, but because Deb's stupid little runt of a brother had tattled about going to the county carnival and cruising down Main Street all night long with the rest of the girls. Well, OK, maybe it wasn't because they went cruising, but because they all got fall down drunk and thrown in jail for drunk driving and reckless endangerment.
"It's STILL unfair!"
"Eighteen years old and she STILL treats me like a little girl!" She picked her "Fluffy Pillow" off the bed and threw it at Justin Timberlake's smiling face on the wall. It hit him right in the head, then fell right on top of Doodles' cage and woke the poor hamster up. Not only was Jessica a very mad "not little girl," but she had a deadly aim with a throw pillow. Justin kept right on smiling as smoke continued to pour from her ears. Doodles yawned in his corner, then went back to sleep.
"No little girl of MINE is going to ruin MY reputation!"
"No little girl of MINE is going to have an arrest record!"
"No little girl of MINE is going to stay out all night and screw around with the boys!"
"And I don't even LIKE boys!"
She stuck out her index finger and wagged it at her invisible mother. "And always, ALWAYS wagging that fucking finger at me! I HATE that!"
"I hate HER!" she said, finally, kneeling on her bed and pushing her fist into her "Granny Pillow" for emphasis.
"Yeah, life is just SO unfair" said a voice from nowhere. And everywhere.
Jessica stared at her "Granny Pillow" for a few seconds. "Who said that?" She slowly looked around the room.
"You don't have to take it, you know."
It was light and cheerful. Jessica turned her head slowly and stared at Doodles, who was scratching his left ear.
"Wrong direction, honey."
Her head shot back around and looked at the head of her bed where her "Nighty Night Pillow" lay. "Who said that?" she repeated.
"Yes, darling. Right here."
Her eyes lowered to the cheap little bright red teddy bear she'd won last night at the ring toss booth. It just lay there on her pink and white bedspread, looking up at her with those little beady black eyes.
"Nah!" she closed one eye and her shoulder's drooped. "That's just too silly."
"And just what is so silly about a magic teddy bear?" She thought she caught just a hint of resentment, though the voice remained as light as the air being whipped around the room by her ceiling fan.
"Hmm," she glanced up at the line of Stephen King and Dean Koontz hardbacks all neatly arranged on her bookshelf. "This is just too freaky."
"Well," the voice huffed (in an airy kind of way), "is that better or worse than being silly?"
"I dunno..." she reached out cautiously for the bear.
"You're lucky you chose me instead of one of those stuffed Shreks. Now, THEY'RE freaky."
She poked the bear in the tummy. "Oooooh," it chirped, doing a teddy bear impersonation of the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
She smiled at that. "Sweet!"
"Does this mean I'm not silly or freaky anymore?"
"Oh, yes, you're definitely both silly AND freaky," she giggled as she reached out once more. "Can I pick you up?"
"That depends."
"On?"
"How much you can lift?"
She laughed and wrapped a hand gently around the bear. "Oh," it continued, "and you promise to treat me better than your pillows."
"Hehe, you're funny."
"Great, first silly, then freaky, now funny. At least funny doesn't have that rotten connotation. I think I can live with funny."
She turned it around in her hands, then turned it upside down, examining it closely. "Do all magic teddy bears talk so much?"
"Only the red ones. The rest use sign language."
"But you don't have any fingers..." she caught herself and started giggling again.
"Gotcha!"
"So," she said, sitting down on the bed, "what else do magic teddy bears do?"
"We grant special wishes to nice people who rescue us from evil carnival booths."
"Oh, come ON."
"No, darlin', I'm serious. If you hadn't come along when you did -- with deadly aim, no less - I'd be boxed up in some cramped cardboard box with all those smelly Panamanian Shreks and Scooby Doos and who knows what. I mean, they NEVER bathe."
She giggled despite herself. "Okay, so what kind of wishes do I get?"
"Well, I'm a magic red teddy bear, which means I can only grant vengeance wishes."
"Vengeance wishes?"
"Yeah, it's kind of unfair, but what can you do? I mean, it's not like we get to pick and choose what color we are."
She gave a heavy sigh. "Yeah, I know just what you mean."
"Exactly. The gold bears have it great. They get to give out gold and silver and Google stock options. We have to settle for allowing folks to get revenge."
"Revenge?"
"Yeah. I'm only allowed to come to life when the person who rescued me is seeking revenge."
"Me?" She rolled her eyes. "Get out of here."
"I think there's a pillow, a rodent and a slightly used poster of an ex-N'Sync member over there that might take issue with that..."
She glanced over towards Doodle's cage. He was happily running in his wheel now. "But..."
"Hey, there's just no arguing with the all-knowing magical red teddy bear when he gets woke up. The mystical powers are telling me you want revenge."
"Well..." Her face started to redden as she thought about that wagging finger.
"See, I can feel it starting again. Look, take it from someone who's been there, done that, got the T-shirt - everyone wants revenge at one time or another. You can't fight it."
Jessica bit her lower lip and took a deep breath, but she could still feel something building up within her, and she couldn't seem to get her mother's voice out of her mind. And that finger. That damned wagging finger.
"You won't...hurt her, right?" She said, quietly.
"That depends on the depth of your anger and resentment, darlin'. Every situation is different."
"She's my...mother."
"Mother, father, sister, brother, husband, wife, all the same. Heck, I'd probably want revenge on my mother every once in a while if I had one."
"But I don't really...hate her."
"That's not what half the neighborhood heard earlier."
"Aw, I was just mad 'cause she grounded me."
"Was? Darlin' I wouldn't be talking right now if it was a case of 'was.'"
"I don't really want to hurt her."
"Well, then, that's that. We'll just make her terribly uncomfortable."
Jessica smiled. "Hey, 'terribly uncomfortable' works."
"Okay, now that that's settled, let's figure out what we're going to do about this terribly unfair mother of yours. What's the thing that she does that you hate most of all?"
"Oh, that's easy." Jessica smiled and a finger shot out. "She ALWAYS lectures me and wags her finger in my face."
"Oh, I LIKE that. I can work with that. Anything else?"
"Well, I don't know if I should..."
"Oh, come on now, if you can't tell your bestest buddy magical red teddy bear, who can you tell?"
"Well, she's always trying to get me to go out on dates with...boys." She almost spat out the last.
"Sounds like a very mother thing to do."