Trapped in a Game

Disclaimer: There are a lot of fantasy elements and gaming references in this one. I'm putting this disclaimer because it isn't there from the get-go, but it does develop into a core aspect of the story as it progresses.

*****

"Tada!"

"What is that?"

"Am I holding the box upside down or something?"

"No, it just looks like you bought a VR game without the VR hardware."

"I bought the headgear too idiot!"

"No way."

"I did!"

"Why?"

Kelly screwed her face up at me, then kicked me in the shins.

"Ow- hey!"

"That's for being a jackass!"

I rubbed my shins gingerly before returning my attention to my little sister.

At five foot-four, Kelly stood about a head shorter than me, but when she put her hands on her hips and glared at me with those ferocious brown eyes, she cut quite the intimidating figure.

She might kill me if I said it out loud, but she was adorable when she was angry like that.

"I- wasn't trying to be. Kel, this stuff is just- expensive."

"So what?"

"You're supposed to be saving money for college."

My little sister Kelly was barely nineteen.

She'd taken a year off after high school to work before going to college, and certainly shouldn't be spending money on silly things like VR headgear.

"Come on, Josh. I don't

have

to go to college right now, you know."

"Yes. You do."

"Why?"

"Because- I said so, mom and dad say so. It's for your own good Kel."

She furrowed her brow angrily at me again.

"Kelly, please. Listen to me-"

"No. You listen to me! You're not doing anything that's for your own good so why do you care so much about mine?"

She tapped her foot impatiently.

I sighed.

The obvious answer was that it was too late for me. That my own good didn't matter.

But it'd be a completely new issue if I let something like that slip out.

Kelly was my baby sister.

I wanted the whole world for her.

If she went to college right now I'd pay for the whole thing no questions asked.

Hell, if she wanted to goof off and just do nothing I'd pay for that too.

But I might not always be around to look after her like that, and I'd rest a lot better knowing that she had a degree to fall back on rather than nothing at all.

Kelly was a smart girl.

Even now she was paying for her own apartment and living expenses without letting mom and dad help her with a thing.

But there was no telling what might happen in the future, so I just wanted what was best for her.

I took one more look at her before I relented:

"Okay- I'm listening."

She perked up at this, holding the box up in front of me excitedly.

"We used to play games like this all the time when we were kids. Come on! It'll be just like old times."

"The games we played weren't cutting edge ground breaking technology, Kel. If you wanna play something I'm sure there's a game I could find that wouldn't cost you a fortune."

"Oh come on, don't go for some boring crap. This is new! Exciting? See!" She held the box close to her face with an exaggerated smile, trying her best to sell me on the idea.

"Why do you wanna play this so bad?"

"Because- the beta has amazing reviews, it's literally the best thing out there game-wise right now. Besides..." she sighed, getting a little fidgety.

"Besides..?"

"I know you really wanna play it."

"What?"

"You've been reading up on it non-stop."

"How do you even know that?"

She held up her phone.

"When you gave me your old phone, your google account was still synced. Whenever you sign in anywhere, your browsing history syncs to my phone," she rubbed her feet nervously as she added that.

"Ugh. What the hell, Kelly? Why didn't you remove my account?"

In the modern world, there was no more intimate a link to person's thoughts than to have access to their browsing history.

"Because- when you're ignoring me it's the only connection I still have to you."

I ran my hands through my hair and paced, agitatedly.

"Come on, Josh- It's not like if I was spying on your freaky porn preferences or anything. Come to think of it you barely watched porn. Kinda weird for a guy," she teased, with a playful wink.

It's a good thing I always use incognito mode

, I thought.

Let that be a lesson to guys out there.

Even if you live alone, you can never be too careful!

I paced a little more, before I continued:

"Okay, so I've been reading up on it. But it was just for fun."

"A hundred and sixty pages yesterday alone Josh?"

"Uh- I like to read- game stuff. You know? Besides, I hardly play games anymore Kel."

"Yeah... Well now you can!"

I slumped down onto my sofa, with a sigh.

She wasn't going to budge on this.

"Fine- I'll buy the game from you, and whatever else you had to spend on it."

"No."

"What- why?"

"Because this is what

I

want, numb nuts. Look, college isn't going anywhere. I'm young, I'm smart, and work has been good to me. I want to do this with you."

"With me?"

"Yeah. This one's yours- but I bought one for me too."

"No. No, no. No!"

"What? It was cheaper this way."

"Kelly, how much did you spend?"

"Look relax, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that I want to play with you, okay?"

"Why does this mean so much to you?"

"Just- because, okay?" She plopped down on the single sofa where I sat, across my lap, and nestled herself against my chest, the way she'd been doing since we were kids.

She was warm, and her presence was comforting.

"We don't spend time together anymore Josh. Not since- well, you know."

My failed marriage?

I thought with a sigh.

Being twenty-three and divorced had to be some kind of record, but sadly not the kind anyone really wants.

"I want us to do this together. For old times' sake?" she looked up into my face with those watery eyes that looked just on the verge of tears, and I pulled her in for a hug.

It's not like I can tell you no anyway...

"Okay- but please let me pay for half, at least?"

She shook her head.

"Why?"

"This is my gift to you, Josh. Just accept it and deal with it, okay?"

I sighed, and she smiled happily before hugging me again.

She placed a little kiss on my cheek before getting off of me.

* * *

Three days later, the VR headset arrived at my doorstep with a huge booklet that I initially assumed was the instructions manual. Instead it turned out to be a long list of release forms and medicals that I needed to fill out and return before the game's official release date.

I knew a VR game was a big step for the gaming world to make, but this seemed a bit over the top.

It wasn't until I got around to reading the materials that I realized the reason for all of the fuss.

This wasn't just VR.

This was simulated reality.

And to think, I'd been reading about the gameplay mechanics, class features, and background dynamics while overlooking that very important detail.

The 'thought interface' system which I'd been reading about wasn't just some fancy terminology for the game's interface.

Thoughts were actually going to be used as input mechanisms to perform actions and interact with the virtual game world.

I picked up my cell phone and quickly called Kelly.

"Kel?"

"Hey! Did your VR headset come in already?"

"Yeah- that and all the release forms. Did you know about all this?"

"Yeah yeah, just a bunch of medicals. Just pretend you're an astronaut preparing for some outer space mission or something."

"For a game, Kelly? Seriously- did you read all of this?"

"Yup- did my medicals and everything."

"How can you be so casual about this?"

"What? If you need help getting your medicals done I'll come with."

"Have you read the release forms? Possible brain damage. Memory loss. Loss of motor functions. Partial spinal paralysis?"

"Blah blah, yada yada. Those things don't ever really happen. It's like all of those side effects on pills you take all the time."

"Like when I got that rash from taking pain killers?"

"Yeah! Oh wait no, I mean- what're the chances..?"

I sighed.

"Kel- there's something you're not telling me about how you got this game."

"Ugh. Alright, fine. I'll be over after work- in two hours?"

I glanced at my watch then sighed.

"Fine."

When Kelly showed up after work, I was still reading through the long list of documents that came with the VR headset.

I let her in with a disapproving glare.

"Start talking."

Kelly apparently came straight over from work, and was still in her work clothes; she wore a stiff looking blouse under a plain skirted suit.

She laughed nervously in that typical 'I know I'm in trouble' little sister way, which contrasted pretty sharply with the seriousness that her work outfit exuded.

When Kelly got all dressed up for work like that, she didn't look like my kid sister anymore.

She looked so mature and self-assured that I almost couldn't bring myself to scold her.

Sure enough, under the get-up she was still my giggly, immature, ditzy little sis, but she sure didn't look like it right now.

"Okay- don't be mad."

"Funny how that sentence always precedes something very maddening."

She chuckled nervously, as she sat on the loveseat.

"Soo- the technology is still experimental. At least officially."

"Why do you know this?"

"Dad's company was one of the small businesses running the servers for them."

"What?"

"They had beta servers in fifty locations globally. Dad's company handled the server for one of the East Coast servers.

"Oh- wait, did dad even know it was for a game?"

"Haha, no. He didn't at first. But they applied for the license under a medical group doing research on ALS. Apparently the game was developed under the same group."

"Please don't tell me you're still doing accounts for dad."

"No- not anymore at least."

I shot her a stern glare.

"What? They were paying me, so I just did it for some extra money on the side."

"You have your own job to focus on, Kel."

"Umm- about that," she was fidgeting again and I sighed apprehensively.

"Spill it."

"Well- when dad's company was setting up the servers, I kind of signed up for the beta testing program."

"You played it already," I muttered with a sigh, and she nodded with another nervous laugh.

"Why on earth would you do something so stupid?"

"They paid really well, Josh. I have enough saved up for college already, and I could afford to buy early access for you as well. Come on, take a look at this!"

She got to her knees in front of me, then turning away from me, she lifted away the hair from the back of her head.

"Jesus- Kel, what is that?"

"It's my spinal implant. Isn't it cool?!"

"Your- what?"

"They used an implant to test motor cognition."

"You've gotta be kidding. There is no way they expect all of the players to do that."

"No silly! This was just for the testers."

Kelly seemed to think it was pretty cool, but her excitement died the moment she turned around and saw the growing look of horror in my eyes.

I massaged my temple, trying to suppress the headache that was already in gear.

All those release forms.

She must have signed twice as many.

If even playing the game after release had so many risks, I couldn't even begin to imagine what the risks must have been for a tester.

"Kelly, this thing is more than just a game."

"Trust me- I know."

"What would you have done if something went wrong?"

"Nothing did."

I tried to stop the tears from welling up in my eyes, but they came anyway.

What would I have done if something happened to you?

She came over to me, and pulled my head into her chest.

"I'm fine, Josh, nothing happened to me. I'm fine!"

She kept saying it over and over but nothing could stop me from thinking that I could lose anyone in the world but her.

I held onto her for dear life as my tears fell onto her chest.

Kelly had never really done anything truly dangerous in her life, so I always felt that I didn't have to worry. But the uncertainty I felt over what she did made me realize just how terrifying the thought of losing her could really be.

When I finally calmed down a bit, she still held onto me, stroking my hair reassuringly.

She was always so warm and delicate in my arms.

I nuzzled her affectionately, then let her settle down onto my lap, but my worry still showed through.

"I can't believe you did all this without even telling me."

She pouted, appealing to my softer big brother side.

"Well- I got you into early access. That has to count for something, right?" She winked at me pleadingly, and I sighed.

I put my arms around her head, and my fingers absently brushed a little metallic ring at the back of her neck.

"You know, technically you're now a cyborg."

"Eh?"

"Implant?" I tapped the ring with my fingernails, and she giggled in response before leaping off of me and starting to move about in a stiff, mechanical way.

"Joshua... Hegel... you will... love... and worship... your little... sister... or face... immediate... termination... by tickling... do you... comply?" she spoke in her best imitation of a dry robotic tone.

"Are you a tickle bot? You know, I've always wanted one of those," I muttered thoughtfully.

"This... is your final warning... human. Promise... to play... this game... with your... little sister... or else- ahh, stop!" she giggled and yelled as I targeted her armpits, but I quickly let up as she was definitely wearing the wrong kind of clothes for horseplay.

"Why are you so intent on getting me to play this game?" I asked.

"Have you played anything Josh? Since- you know... Since she left?" Kelly asked, as she took a seat on the mat next to the couch.

I rolled my eyes at her attempt to brooch the touchy topic that I'd been all too happy to avoid for the rest of my life if it were at all possible.

"You can say her name you know."

"Okay. Have you played anything since that

dumb

bitch

left?" she smiled cutely, and I patted her on the head.

"No. I haven't, but since when is that such a big deal?"

"Gaming meant a lot to you before you met her. A lot of things meant a lot to you before you met her. I just don't want to see you sitting here forgetting that anymore."

"Does me being a loser worry you that much?"

She aimed a blow at my shins angrily.

"You can be as much of a loser as you want, Josh, but thinking that you're a loser because some

whore

couldn't see your worth?

That's

the part I can't accept!"

Kelly had a point though. Since my ex-wife left me I hadn't really been doing much at all, much less making time for recreational activities like gaming.

I'd always worried about my sister a lot. As a big brother, that was kind of a given.

But now I noticed that she probably worried about me as well.

It was kind of endearing, now that I think about it.

"I guess I have no choice then, huh."

"Yup. Besides, I promise you will love this game. It's... unlike

anything

imaginable."

I got up and stretched lazily.

"Fine then- you better get home now."

"Ehh, why?"

"You're still in your work clothes, doofus. Go home, shower, change, relax... Do whatever. I'll start working on the paperwork."

She folded her arms angrily.

"Fine. Just don't come crying to me when you need help!"

She stuck her tongue out at me, then headed for the door.

"Seriously though, don't put this off. You have less than three weeks to get everything done."

"Alright, I got it. Now shoo."

She gave me one more 'hmph!' before stepping out, and pulling the door shut, leaving me once more with the emptiness that seemed to engulf my apartment whenever she left.

"Well then," I muttered to myself, "better get to it."

* * *

By the end of the week, I was done filling in the necessary forms, but I still needed to complete certain medicals to scan and upload to my online player profile.

Part of the necessary info however required that I go through a series of rigorous calibration exercises using my VR set.

First I had to wear it for hours while performing some mundane day-to-day tasks, then I had perform a long list of tasks as instructed while the headset recorded the data and uploaded it to my online profile.

I quickly realized that the headset itself wasn't really what Kelly probably paid a fortune for, but rather the handling of the game profile that I was now building.

It took a week and then some before I'd made it through the calibration process.

It would have probably even longer if I wasn't out of a job.

But I couldn't even let Kelly know about that just yet.

She was worried enough about me as is, and I didn't need to make matters worse.

Every day when she called to find out how the procedure had been going I just told her that it was coming along before trying to change the subject to something else.

Of course it didn't help that she'd keep asking me about work, and if I was planning on taking time off for the game's launch, but I was had grown somewhat accustomed to being elusive about those personal questions.

Kelly wasn't happy about it.

I could tell.

But she didn't push it, so I was satisfied keeping up the farce.

Besides, I'd come clean with her anyway as soon as I'd gotten back to more stable work and things had settled down.

Truthfully, the sign-up process for the game alone was more activity than I'd been doing recently, and I was pretty relieved to have gotten through it all.

Since she left...

I glanced at my cell phone, feeling the sudden urge to give her a call.

You know you shouldn't,

I told myself, but that didn't stop me from picking up the phone and quickly searching out her name in my contacts.

I checked twice before noticing that it was indeed missing.

Then I searched by the number instead and found it was now saved under the name 'Dumb bitch'.

Kelly

, I thought to myself, before tossing the phone onto the bed with a sigh.

If I couldn't even hold on to a 'dumb bitch' then what exactly did that make me?

I plopped down on the bed next to the phone and ruminated over it a bit, before deciding to make the call.

It rang five or six times, and I was about to hang up when she answered:

"Ugh. Josh,

why

are you calling me?"

"Uhh- I dunno, Tracey? To see if you're alive, I guess?"

"And why the fuck is that your problem?"

"Old habits..."

I heard an exasperated sigh on the other end, and wondered silently how someone I was so close to me could so easily cut me out of her life.

Before getting married about a year ago, Tracey and I had been together for about five years. She was my only girlfriend and we'd been together since we were seventeen, but shortly after getting married, she basically decided on her own that we'd drifted apart, but not before I started hearing rumors that she'd been spotted around town with Michael, an ex-work colleague and at the time, close friend.

The silence continued for another minute, before I could feel the tension cutting through my heart.

"Have you been good?" I asked, desperately.

"Yes, I've been good- look I've gotta go."

"Wait-"

"Bye."

*Click!

"Ugh!"

I threw the phone across the room and it landed with a thud, after bouncing off of the dresser.

With a sigh, I rolled off the bed and went for the nightstand, opening the top drawer and fishing out the nearly empty little bottle of sleeping pills.

For months after Tracey left I barely slept, and eventually I got a doctor to prescribe me some sleeping pills to help with the insomnia.