Then It Dawned on Me

"Anyone need drinks?" Ethan asked the party.

"Of course!" Almost everyone at the table agreed. "Over here!" someone said from the pool. We were all at Aaron's house, gathered for a July 4th party to break in his new pool.

"J, can you come help me?" He asked with a hand on my back. Tap, tap.

"Sure." I got up to follow him. A weak excuse for us both to be gone a while, and too many people waiting for us to come back, but the party was going well, we may not be missed. We got in through the sliding glass doors and I told him so.

"I know, but Kelly is almost ready to leave and I couldn't think of anything else. We can be quick, I just... It's been so long baby... I have to be inside you." he whispered behind me as he pushed me through the living room and into the hall bath. We were kissing hard as I took his already hard cock out of his trunks and stroked it once. I was spun around and pushed over the vanity so my ass was sticking out and my face right next to the mirror. He roughly grabbed my bikini bottoms and slid them to the side. I licked my hand and wet my pussy and I felt him doing the same to his cock near my entrance.

He was fully inside in two thrusts. Neither of us let our moans be too loud even though the music outside would have covered us. We breathed and stared at each other in the mirror. Saying everything we wanted to say, with our eyes. He had his hand around the back of my neck and one on my hip, giving me the hard hitting strokes I love.

"God, I missed you."

"I missed you too, big brother." We whispered to each other as he fucked me. I closed my eyes while I was trying to keep quiet, and felt him pull me up by my neck, so we were both standing.

"Open your eyes." I did what he said. "Look how sexy you look when I fuck you." He said directly into my ear as he held my face by the jaw, so I had no choice but to look. I watched us together and the effect he had on me. He loosened his grip and ran his fingers over my kiss swollen lips.

He pulled out of me, and I turned around, hopping up and resting my ass on the edge of the vanity. He grabbed my back and entered me. His other hand moved from holding my swimsuit to the side, up the length of my body to cradling my neck. He brought his face to mine and kissed me deeply.

"Fuck me, Ethan. I need you." I said as I clenched around him as well as I could.

"Mmmm! You're already going to make me cum baby." I could feel him holding back from grabbing or spanking, so that he wouldn't leave marks on me.

"Yeah, you missed your pussy, E?" I asked in my 'Sweet Jane' voice he loved, as I held the side of his face.

"Fuck yes." He picked up speed.

"Give it to me, I want it all." He was hitting so hard my back arched off the mirror leaving only my head supporting me. Ethan's head was pushing into where my collarbone meets my neck, still fucking me desperately. The tension in my body faded, and he raised his head to look at me. I came forward to lick up a bead of sweat that was rolling off his temple.

His little rumbling growl started, and his thrusts became more intense just before I felt him explode inside me. He held me tight like he always does, relishing the moment for a second before we have to get back to life. Then, both of us startled. Our eyes shot open and looked at each other and then the door. We both heard a sound, I knew that sound.

"Matt?" I asked as I open the door, the rest of the way, realizing that we hadn't fully closed it. There he was with his dick in one hand, and a load of cum in the other, staring wide-eyed at us.

"Fuck" Ethan said as he pulled out of me quickly and pulled up his swim trunks. For a moment that felt like eternity, we all sat around, looking at each other not knowing what to say or do.

"I should leave you two alone." Ethan said as he slid out the opening of the door between the jamb and a frozen Matt, who stared at me hard and long. I wished I knew what to say, but what do you say in a situation like that? He turned around and quickly walked to the front door, leaving without saying a word.

"Matt, wait!" I called in vain. As I hopped off the counter, tried to right my bathing suit, and get my legs under me. I ran until I got to the door, and my mind started to race, I couldn't chase him yet, I had to do damage control.

I went back to the living room and heard Ethan in the kitchen getting everybody's drinks.

"Jane.. What the fuck are we going to do?"

"I dont know yet. He didn't say anything, he just left... I have to go talk to him now. I need to tell everyone were leaving so no one gets suspicious."

"I-I could have sworn I closed the door, I-I.. We were quiet.. Why did you open the door when I was still inside you?"

"Yeah, that was the real mistake." I said sarcastically, "He'd already cum, he had to have been watching us the whole time... It doesn't matter anymore E. We're either fucked or..."

"Or we're over." I could see the fear and dread in his eyes and could only imagine what mine looked like. "He... came" Ethan stopped gathering drinks and looked at me in total disbelief. I nodded and returned his confusion. After we got all the drinks ready and took them to the patio, I made excuses that Matt had a sour stomach, and we needed to leave. I ran sweating and panting out to the front and saw that our car was already gone, so I called an Uber. I started walking down the street so no one would see me alone. My neck and face were on fire and my heart was racing.

I got back to the house and walked in to find Matt sitting on our bed, hunched over with his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry" I said not really knowing what else to say.

"For what? Cheating on me? Fucking your brother? Catching me masturbating to it like a creep? There's so much wrong, I don't know where to start Jane."

"For all of it. I don't know what to say."

"How long?"

"Years. Before I met you."

"So the whole time we've been together, you've been fucking him too?"

"Yes, but not very many times since we've been together."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I guess not. I don't know if there's anything I could say that would make you feel better." He peeled his eyes away from me, closed them and shook his head as if he were some kind of Etch-A-Sketch that could make this knowledge go away. "Do you want to talk about the other part of it?"

"What other part of it?"

"The, you getting off on it, part."

"I don't know... I just saw you, and the way you are together, it was unbelievably hot. Which is crazy because I should have been angry and disgusted, but somehow at the time, I felt incredibly turned on. The chemistry you two have is indescribable. Which, also, kinda pisses me off. I... I don't know."

"I know."

"Do you love him? I mean, I know you love him but, do you want to be with him?"

"No, I love you."

"Come on, be serious. Am I some kind of beard? Did you marry me so that no one would suspect that you're fucking your own brother?" He said, raising his voice.

"No Matt, no... I am being serious, I love you, truly. I don't know how to explain it. I have thought that I loved him before, but really it's just our chemistry that's unavoidable. I don't want to be his wife, I want to be your wife. I love him as a brother, and we have a special attraction, and a bond because of it, but I don't love him that way. Not the way that I love you."

"You sure fucked him like you love him. I mean the intensity between you two, its as much as you and I have ever had and you two weren't even trying."

"I know. I know. It's what makes it hard for us to stop, but neither of us feels the kind of love that makes us want to throw away our whole lives to be together. Our family and Peter... he knows I'm his aunt. If Peter found out and hated Ethan for it, or told his mother and Ethan lost custody, we would never forgive ourselves. My mother could not handle this, not without dad. I'm sure it hurts and it doesn't seem like I do, but I love you. I don't want to lose you. I wouldn't have gotten married just to cover it up, it'd be a lot easier to just stay single. I married you because I love you and because I want to be your partner, forever. I just have a huge, terrible secret."

"So it's just sex with him?" I nodded my head seriously, not breaking eye contact.

"I really tried to resist when we first started getting serious, I liked you so much, I thought it would be different. Then, when dad was sick, we were spending so much time together and leaning on each other emotionally. I leaned too far... It wasn't every time we spent time together, but it still kept happening. I dont know what to say, I never thought I'd have to be without him until you. Its selfish, I know, I wanted you and I didn't want to have to give him up."

"What about Kelly? Or Peter's mom? Did it go back that far? Don't you two hate cheating like that?"

"It started right before they got divorced. I mean, it's something we know we shouldn't do, but we really shouldn't be doing it anyway, and... it has just always felt, different with us. Something more basic or primal than romantic love. I've never felt jealous or hateful towards Kelly, I like her, and I think he feels the same about you. We're not trying to be together, or steal the other one away, we just love to fuck each other. I'm not saying I don't think we did anything wrong, I know what we did, and I shouldn't justify it, I just want you to know where I'm coming from. I know it hurt you and you probably want to kill us."

"I dont know what I want."

"Please don't say you're leaving."

"I mean. I don't want to. I just... Urgh, I don't know, I need some time to process this."

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, boldly venturing a few steps closer.

"What?"

"What was it? Was it the intensity? Was it seeing someone else have me? I'm just curious, what got you off..."

"I don't know. It was everything. When I saw you two, I was so shocked, that I was frozen. I couldn't move or do anything but stare. You were.. so sexy. The way he fucked you.. Yeah, the connection was intense too, and how wrong it was, the things you said to each other, it was a lot of feelings for me. I was jealous, but not the way I've been jealous before. I didn't want to stop you, I wanted to watch. Before I knew it my pants were down, and I was jacking off. Then, when you licked him, and he came in you... fuck. I can't, don't make me talk about this anymore please." I had made my way to sitting on the bed next to him leaving a sliver of room between us.

"You're.. Hard."

"I know." He said with his hands over his face. It seemed like he was embarrassed, I don't know why, I was the one who actually did it, he just enjoyed the show. He seemed angry, but somehow I got the feeling he was worried about what I would think too. I got down on my knees in front of him and slid my hands up his thighs. He uncovered his face and looked at me, shocked.

"I don't think it's weird that you liked it." I said with a glimmer in my eye and a tone in my voice that he knew well.

"Really?" He asked darkly and I shook my head as I rubbed his bulge outside of his swim trunks. He looked conflicted as he lifted his ass to help me undress him, and I took his hard cock into my mouth before he could change his mind. I made long slow trips up and down his length as I cradled his balls in one hand. I was teasing him with my tongue when I looked up to find him staring at me.

The look in his eyes was something I'd never seen in him before. He looked angry and intense and full of lust. It stopped me for a moment, worrying me that I had gone too far with the blowjob, or maybe it made him feel dismissed. Until, I heard a tone in his voice I barely recognized.

"Did I tell you to stop?" My eyes widened and I shook my head slowly, sticking out my tongue to rub it on the underside of his head as I did. I brought him back into my mouth and sucked him down until I had him as deep as he would go. He gathered my hair at the back of my head and pushed me down on his cock until my nose was in his pubic hair. He pulled my head up off of him by my hair and yanked it back so that i was looking up at him.

"Were you ever going to tell me that my wife is a little slut?" He slapped my face lightly. I could tell it was lighter than he wanted, but enough to get my attention, and enough to have me soaking my bikini bottoms. He used my hair to push my head back down onto his cock, using my face instead of letting me blow him the way I wanted. "No, you were just going to keep fucking us both, weren't you?" He pulled my head up and waited for a response this time. I nodded my head as much as I could, being held up by it. He got up and took me with him, and started undressing. I followed his lead removing the same items as him.

"Get your ass up in the middle of that bed." He said with a spank. I did as he said, I had never seen him this way. He was always caring and polite when we had sex. We could be rough, or playful, don't get me wrong, but, he was always considerate. This kind of treatment was what I expected from Ethan, not Matt. It was interesting and a little exhilarating to see him like this. He followed me onto the bed and pushed into me fast and hard, before withdrawing slowly. After his second withdrawal, he stopped with his cock at my entrance. I looked back at him, and he was looking at his dick and had used his thumbs to spread my pussy open.

"He's still inside you." He reentered me with a hard thrust and began bringing my hips back to him. "Fuck." He thrust into me feverishly. He'd never pounded me so hard or fast. I couldn't tell if he was mad or insanely turned on, by using my brother's cum as his lube.

His frantic pace and his slaps to my ass were making me scream in pleasure. I was full of guilt for relishing in this monster I'd created by betraying him. I don't know if he was trying to punish me or just letting loose now that the worst was already out on the table. Maybe it was both, but it was some of the best sex we'd ever had. So good that I was so close to cumming.

"Ahhhhh Unnnn Fuuuckkkk Maaaatt!!"

"You're Mine, Jane." I came at his declaration. I squeezed the shit out of him and my thighs shook. I bit the bedding to keep from screaming. He leaned over to get closer to my face, "All. Fucking. Mine. I decide who I want to share MY pussy with. You understand me?" I moaned and nodded, but I didnt understand. Share? Was he seriously thinking about sharing me?

"You want to watch me get fucked again baby?" His dick hit me harder and harder as I asked.

"Maybe. Seeing my pretty little wife getting fucked like a whore was kinda hot. I didn't know you were so depraved." He slapped my ass hard, and slowed his pace.

"Y-You like it?"

"I like knowing that he didnt make you cum but I did. I like fucking you through his cum knowing mine is going to fill you up and replace all of his." He pushed me forward onto my face and leaned into me giving my neck and shoulders both of our weight as he continued thrusting. "I like knowing your Dirty, Fucking Secret."

He aggressively threw my ass to the side, simultaneously pulling out and trying to get me to turn over. As soon as I was, with my legs in the air, he pointed his cock at me and slapped my clit with it before shoving into me.

"You're still picturing it, aren't you?" I asked, now that I could see it in his eyes. He nodded slowly.

"I can't stop." I felt his dick grow harder in me, and I think we were both surprised. I felt so many emotions. I was scared of him knowing about me and Ethan, I was worried about our marriage, I was so turned on at Matt's intensity and arousal at my indiscretion, I felt guilty and self-conscious, it was all too much. He looked like he was drunk on a similar cocktail of emotions and from his pace and breathing I could tell he was on the edge.

"Cum in me, baby. Who do I belong to?" He gripped my neck seriously with one hand, although it felt like he was using it as a possessive handle more than trying to choke me. Then, he was grunting with every thrust, and finally I heard the guttural moaning sound I had heard not that long ago while Ethan was cumming inside me.

He held himself still deep inside me as his cock throbbed and his cum flooded my pussy. I always loved that. Ethan would usually fuck me through him cumming, even if it was shallow or slow. I liked that too, but there was something about feeling nothing but your man spilling inside of you.

As he softened and pulled out, we looked at each other, and I'd never been more aware of the silence and tension in the room. The post-coital clarity was dousing us in reality, and I suddenly felt exposed and raw with insecurity.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked looking concerned and unsure.

"No, not at all." I touched him, so he'd know I was telling the truth. We laid together not speaking or touching, just thinking. I started to spiral, wondering what he was thinking about us, about me and Ethan, about the uncharacteristic sex we'd just had, about all the things he said during it. Was that real or was that just sex talk? He did that occasionally. He'd ask me or tell me outrageous things during sex just to heighten the intensity. Maybe that was all this was. I wanted answers, but I knew I wasn't entitled. This was my fault, and I was going to have to accept whatever he was willing to give.

"Can you tell me what you're thinking?" I asked, barely above a whisper.

"I hate that you did it behind my back. I don't like the dishonesty, but it's not like I don't understand why. You can't exactly tell anyone you're fucking your brother. I feel like usually, I think if someone is cheating, they should just break up with their spouse so that they can be with the person their fucking, but... you can't, and say you don't want to. I think.. I'm going to have trouble trusting you. It feels like you're a whole different person than I thought, I hate the feeling that I don't know you at all."

"I understand that. I appreciate you understanding a little, but Matt, you do know me. This isn't all that I am. I know it's a huge deal, but I'm also still the same person you married..."-

Ding.... Ding. We both looked in the direction of what we both knew was the text alert on my phone.

"Is it him?" I rolled over to our discarded clothes and dug my phone out of my pocket.

"Yeah. He wants to know if we're okay... aaand if you're going to tell anyone."

"Ppft. He wants to know if YOU'RE okay, he couldn't give a fuck about me."

"I think he means our relationship.. If you and I are okay, he knows he and I are probably over. Especially if you are willing to keep quiet about the whole thing. And if we're not okay, there's nothing to stop you from telling anyone."

"Oh... well... I mean. I dont know, I haven't had time to think about anything. In my opinion, he should tell Kelly, but it's not for me to tell. I couldn't imagine telling anyone about this. So you can tell him that. As for us..."

"That's enough, we can figure out us... Thank you, seriously, for both of us." He nodded and got up to get some space.

We didnt talk much for days, and when we slept, it felt like there was a canyon of space between us. The next time we had sex, it was regular relationship maintenance sex, nothing special, but nice to be connected again. It wasn't forgiveness, but it was more like normal us.

"I missed you Jane." He said right after he came. "I dont completely forgive you, and I'm still not sure I know you, but I miss my wife."

"I'm still here. Its still me. I missed you too Matt, so much."

"Do you need it rough and intense like last time? Is that why you have to fuck him? Cause you don't get that from me?"

"No, thats not it. Its nothing to do with you. If I needed something I would ask you for it. Sure I like it every once in a while, and yeah I didnt think it was your style, but my first solution wouldn't have been to look for it somewhere else. He and I aren't always like that either... You got pretty intense."