THEN: The soft Side.
My stepmother and I had maintained a peculiar relationship, ever since she had had caught me trying to sneak one of my fathers girlie magazines back into his bedside cabinet; one that I had torn out a few pages from. At the time I was 18 and had just come home from boarding school for the summer holidays.
I have to admit I had always had fantasies of being dominated by a woman, not a cruel woman mind, but rather one who would enjoy playing a fantasy role as dominatrix while I indulged my pleasure in being dominated. In my stepmother I had found such a person.
She had covered for me with my dad, by disposing of the magazine in question and saying that she had found a particularly tasteless article that had offended her so much she had consigned the magazine to the garbage bin. Luckily dad did not question her further about it. I had never felt such humiliation in my life as I had upon her catching me, in her and my dad's bedroom, going through his bedside table with a girlie magazine in hand!
She had been really nice about it, after her initial disgust at the intrusion to their privacy, understanding that I had had little in the way of mature sex education, nor had I experienced my sexuality being confined to an all boys Catholic boarding school.
Anyway the upshot was that she would not show the magazine to my dad or tell him about my episode, but I would have to allow her to train me and bring out the repressed sexuality that was obviously longing for release. Though embarrassed beyond words, I agreed. So many feelings hit me at once that day, self loathing, fear, excitement (for my stepmother is a great looking lady and only 20 years my senior). She had done little that day really, just a beginning, a taste of what was to follow...she had asked me to strip in front of her, as she sat on the double bed, her tight jean clad long legs crossed and as calm as you imagine.
Looking back, I guess this was the moment when our new relationship was cemented. Had I refused where would we be now? But I didn't, I couldn't. So red faced and sweating mightily I had slowly and awkwardly removed my clothing down to my underpants. I looked at her, and she just smiled and repeated that I should strip for her.
The confusion I felt was overwhelming. A part of me was furious with her, furious with myself, wanting only to collect my clothes and rush off to my bedroom. I'm unsure why I stayed. Her calm demeanor I thought later had steadied me. She didn't laugh at me, though a small smile stayed upon her face as I fought my inner turmoil. Finally I did remove my underwear, and stood before her naked and somewhat frightened, unsure of myself.
She bid me come closer. I was as red as a beet now, as I was suddenly aware of her as a very sexy woman. As I stepped closer to her, my feelings of anger were subsiding and being replaced with wonder at what she might be about to do next. I stopped a meter from her and she bid me come closer still. Finally I stopped scant inches from her. Her knee was very close to my genitals. My penis was beginning to engorge. Slowly she stood up off the bed, her thigh touching my penis as she moved to her closet. I didn't see what she removed until she again stood in front of me.
It was a black silk scarf. Leaning into me she had wrapped it softly around my head, blindfolding me, while telling me to be still.
The scarf had been a revelation. It had removed me from the embarrassment, in some way isolated me from the situation and allowed me to enter a place where there was only wonder and feeling and total focus on the little touches of my stepmothers body as it touched mine. A brush of thigh against my penis, the touch of breast against an arm. So new was all this to me I was spellbound. I didn't want to move, less I awaken and find it was only a dream.
