It had been 5 years since I saw her last. She's not really my sister. Not in any legal sense. My mother had become her legal guardian when she was eleven years old, after her father died. My mom once dated her father and felt a responsibility to his daughter after h-is death, even though Elizabeth was not my mom's daughter. Mother could well afford to take care of Elizabeth since my father was a wealthy businessman until his early death from lung cancer. Mom was born into a rich family anyway so she would have been able to afford taking care of Elizabeth without inheriting my father's fortune. My dad was born dirt-poor, but brought himself up from the ashes of poverty to become one of the American success stories. My mom fell in love with Elizabeth's father and even after their breakup, she still held onto that love until he died in a tragic car accident.
I remember the first time I saw Elizabeth. Even though my mom and her dad dated, I never met Elizabeth because my mom did not want me exposed to her boyfriends, unless if she were to marry one of them. Our butler picked up Elizabeth at her home and brought her to our house. She was eleven, but her beauty started at a young age. I remember seeing her at the front door. My heart skipped a beat. She had long, flowing, dark hair. Her skin was smooth and soft. She looked so innocent, yet so beautiful at the same time.
Up until the moment I first laid eyes on her, I dreaded having her in my home. It would mean I was no longer the young one in the family. Being an only child up to that point, I cherished my role of being spoiled. Things changed that day.
Despite my original hesitation I found myself protecting Elizabeth, from other girls in school who tried to start trouble with her because she was the new kid on the block. Also, I found myself trying to help her out as much as possible. Elizabeth was always sweet and nice to me. She never once bugged me or made me angry on purpose. She was also very smart and fun to be around.
After two months of living with me and mom in our mansion, Elizabeth felt comfortable to say "I love you." to me. It became our daily routine to say this to each other. At first I was nervous doing so. Partly because of her striking looks. I was attracted to her from the moment I laid eyes on her. Also, I was fairly shy around girls. Being sheltered in a mansion when not in school didn't help any.
Elizabeth did a lot to bring me out of my shell. She held my hands a lot. Not because we had to, but because she wanted to. Six months into our living together she first kissed me goodnight, on the lips. It was the first time a girl kissed me on the lips. Even though it was an innocent brother-sister type kiss, I found that it set off a spark within me. I could not get to sleep that night, tossing and turning, thinking about her.
The nightly kisses began after that first time. I think she started it out of appreciation and because she became that comfortable with me. Even so, it was our private little secret. Around my mother she usually hugged me and kissed my cheek. When we were alone it was always a kiss on the lips. I came to look forward to our secret kisses. They were always innocent, never tongue or open mouth, but still thrilling to a shy guy like me.
Over time we grew together. We became very protective of one another and tried to help each other with schoolwork and dealing with other kids. When I was in high school I started dating other girls. I never brought them home. For some reason it didn't feel right to have them around Elizabeth. I was afraid she would be jealous, or maybe I was more afraid that she wouldn't be. Even so, Elizabeth never seemed to date.
When I graduated high school, I was considering colleges across the country. I had my choice of colleges. I was going to go to a big-name ivy-league college, until Elizabeth threw a fit.
"I guess you are leaving now." Elizabeth said with her arms crossed over her mature breasts.
"I guess so." I shrugged my shoulders.
"So that's it? You're just going to take off and leave me all alone here?" Elizabeth said.
I walked back to her and grabbed her arms with my hands.
"Elizabeth, it's not like that. We will always be close. You mean a lot to me. You know that." I said hoping to reassure her.
"I know. I will just miss you. Please don't go." She said with tears forming in her eyes.
By this point I could never say "No" to Elizabeth. Where I went to college really didn't matter to me. Mom raised me and Elizabeth well enough so we didn't become snobs like the kids in our neighborhood. Yes, we were spoiled to a degree, but we learned the value of hard work and earning our way as well.
"I'll think about it." Is all I could muster up.
I dreaded the discussion with her, because I didn't know how to say goodbye. Elizabeth had become such a big part of my life that I could no longer imagine a life without her in it on a constant basis. Truthfully, I was dreading college.
Elizabeth stormed off to her room and slammed the door shut. Luckily, my mother's room was on the other side of the mansion. As we grew up my mom realized our need for space, independence that all kids need in their awkward years. I stood outside of Elizabeth's room shocked. This was very unlike her. I felt myself become nervous. I wanted to knock on the door, but I remembered our many conversations about that. She never wanted me to knock. Our feelings was that whatever was hers was mine and vice versa. So I entered her room and saw her face down on her massive bed. It once belonged to a queen. I pulled back the thin curtains from the bed as I walked up the two steps.
I sat down next to her and heard her try to stifle her cries. My hand reached out as I tried to soothe her tears away.
"Elizabeth...........I'm not going to go. I'll go to college around here." I said.
"Really?" She asked as she raised her head and looked at me through tear streaked eyes.
"Yeah. I didn't want to go away, anyway." I said.
She moved over to me quickly and hugged me. She kept hugging me for a long time and I patted her hair and her back, trying to reassure her that I was not leaving.
"I guess I'm not being fair. It's your future. You shouldn't let me interfere with it." She said wiping the last of the tears away.
"I want to stay. To tell you the truth it would be hard to leave. I would be lonely without you." I said truthfully.
"You are so sweet." She said and hugged me again.
I held her for a very long time. We both fell asleep like that.
As she approached her high school years, I noticed signs that she was dating. She kept it from me much like I kept my dating from her. We shared just about everything else, but there was a bit of discomfort sharing our love lives. I could see Elizabeth maturing into a woman in front of my eyes. She had always been feminine from the moment I met her, but now it was on a more mature level. Her perfume was now meant to draw men. At times her door would even be locked, which was something we never did before. What could I expect though? Even living at home there were some nights I would not come home after dates with my various girlfriends. Elizabeth was always awkward with me when I did return home. I should have seen the signs of jealousy back then.
It happened one day before her Prom. She had already turned 18 years old earlier than most of her fellow classmates because she had to repeat a grade when she moved here. Having your last surviving parent die that early on in life will do it to you. I was going to Elizabeth's room to talk, as we usually did. I heard sounds from her room and when I entered I was shocked to see a guy between her legs. They were having sex. I had never seen her naked before. She was always careful about nudity around me. The most I ever saw was her bikini-clad body. She always wore tasteful bikinis so it was tempting, but not too revealing.
The sight hit me like a ton of bricks in the chest. I backed out of her room and closed her door quietly. I entered my room and slammed the door shut. From that moment on our relationship changed. I started distancing myself from her and spending more time with my college girlfriend. I don't think Elizabeth ever knew I caught her and her boyfriend having sex, but I suspect she must have known. She always asked me what was wrong, but I always denied anything being wrong.
I struggled with myself, because I knew I was jealous. I still wouldn't bring my girlfriend around the mansion, but I spent more time with her than at home. Around this time I noticed Elizabeth rebelling more. She came home late and was in trouble a lot. I shrugged it off and acted like it didn't matter. It hurt. I just felt we lost that connection that we had for so many years.
I considered transferring colleges, because I knew I could have gotten a better education at one of the bigger colleges and experienced more of what life had to offer. I still couldn't bring myself to cut off my connection with Elizabeth, as strained as it was. It was all I had. Mom was always distant though loving when she was around. Her boyfriends were her first passion and she still held to her stance of not bringing them around me and Elizabeth so we didn't have to go through the heartbreak of one temporary father-figure after another.
We were at the point of me graduating college and Elizabeth graduating high school. Elizabeth and I decided to spend one last summer at our vacation cabin. Now that we were adults, Mom was free to go on her dream vacation with her boyfriend at that time.
Elizabeth and I had ended our relationships at that time, knowing we wouldn't be around to continue on with them. It was a stressful time, but we were hoping to get away from it all. I loved our cabin. It was in my family long before I was born. It had a lot of family history and felt more like home than the mansion ever did. Every summer, without exception, was spent at the cabin on the lake.
It was just Elizabeth this summer. Without mom around, I felt like I could be free to try and repair our relationship without any awkwardness of trying to hide my actions as well. I drove in silence. The six hour drive always felt like a cleansing of sorts. Whatever pressures I had during the year, vanished on the long drive to the cabin.
Elizabeth didn't mutter a word, but I could tell her worries eased on this drive as well. She looked so beautiful and her beauty only helped remind me of my loneliness. Having no girlfriend didn't help matters, but I knew I couldn't start anything up until my new life settled down and that wouldn't be for awhile. I was on the verge of my dream life coming true. I always wanted to be a writer and a lot of my college projects opened that world up to me in ways many others had to struggle to obtain.
When we finally arrived at the cabin it was with relief. A long drive in silence could seem even longer than if there was good conversation to ease the travel. We unpacked the things from the trailer hitched to the jeep. When everything was unloaded we sat down for supper.
"Don't you think it's about time we talked?" I asked.
"About what?" Elizabeth asked defiantly.
"About the bug that has been up your ass for so long. What's wrong with you?" I asked.
"Nothing! What's wrong with you? Why are you being an asshole?" She shot back.
I calmed down some before I spoke again.
"Listen if we can't repair our relationship than we might as well forget being here together for the summer. I don't want to fight. I love you, but I can't take this." I said, trying to salvage our last summer together.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. Graduating and knowing you will be moving off. I just feel lost." Elizabeth said looking down at her untouched food.
I patted her hand.
"That makes two of us. If we don't try to fix things now, though, we will never fix it. I don't want that. I love you and I don't want us to keep going the way we are going." I said as I stood up.
"Neither do I. I love you too. I really do. I just feel like I was no longer important to you when you would spend nights with your girlfriends and not come home." Elizabeth revealed.
"You will always be important to me. No matter what happens. I don't want to lose that. To lose you. And speaking of relationships, I'm not the only one guilty of that. You spent a lot of time with your boyfriends the past few years as well." I said.