Chapter 1: The "Bad" News
It was a brisk summer morning, and Saturday was finally here.
Shawn dismissed his alarm with a yawn. His bedroom window was still open, and a cool breeze gently swept in as he collected the strength to get up. The summer air smelled refreshing, and the cool breeze of the early morning made it hard for him to wake up. He would have preferred to lay there and let the gentle breeze carry him back to sleep, but the weekend excited him, and they were always too short. Shawn knew he would rather enjoy himself than sleep in.
With some effort, he hoisted himself out of bed and went straight for the bathroom to begin his morning routine. The first thing he noticed was how pitifully empty his toothpaste was. Shawn was a natural-born procrastinator, and this morning he'd have to coil it up to get enough out. He sighed, tossing the empty tube into the bin next to the sink, realizing it was finally time to go shopping for toiletries again. Shawn hated this, as he was painfully introverted and preferred to stay home as often as possible.
He curiously analyzed his physic in the mirror as he brushed his teeth. Shawn's figure was average. He wasn't skinny, overweight, athletic, or anything else but wasn't the most confident with his appearance. He managed himself well and tried to make healthy choices but considered himself a generous seven at best. He knew he wasn't ugly, but his geeky interests and social awkwardness made him feel undesirable. Growing up, he didn't have many friends, and everyone thought he was strange. But he had a good heart and could get along well with anyone.
Shawn stood six feet tall with dark, shaggy hair and brownish-green eyes. Kendall always told him he'd never have issues with girls because of his looks; in her opinion, he was handsome. To his disappointment, this couldn't have been more inaccurate. Shawn tried dating a few times, but none of his relationships ended well. He could never seem to get the attention of those he was interested in, and any who showed interest weren't what he was looking for. That was the story of his love life.
On the other hand, Kendall seemed to get lucky with Bradley, though Shawn did not like him. His dislike for Bradley was a mixture of jealousy and disapproval for how he treated Kendall. Bradley didn't know how to be wrong about anything and blamed Kendall for everything. He was an egotistical only child who grew up wealthy and the walking definition of toxic masculinity. However, his athletic build, high income, and desirable looks could get him any girl he wanted in today's excuse for a dating pool. Kendall sometimes had insecurities about this, which likely caused her to put up with more than she had to. In truth, she could easily have anyone she wanted, but Bradley's twisted control over her clouded Kendall's awareness of the fact.
After rinsing his mouth, Shawn kicked his boxers off and twisted the shower handle, waiting for the water to reach the perfect level of molten hell. He enjoyed blistering-hot showers. Kendall always told him it was terrible for his skin and hair to take showers like that, but he never listened.
He wondered why Kendall hadn't responded to his text messages lately as he rinsed his hair and body. It had been over a month since they had last seen each other. Her text message responses were getting less frequent as they lived apart over the last year. Shawn never expressed it directly to her, but this bothered him greatly. Kendall was his only source of interaction, as most of his friendships were through a device. Shawn's friends were a combination of coworkers he had met virtually due to working remotely and people he had met online while gaming. They had a chat server he logged into daily to goof around with them. He didn't engage with people in person often but secretly wanted to be better about it. Even introverts crave social stimulation at times.
Shawn finished his morning routine with fresh clothes on and began heading downstairs to start his weekend correctly with coffee. He headed straight for the kitchen and immediately opened the fridge, looking for a particular pitcher of cold brew that he was looking forward to breaking open. Cold brew was his dominant preference year-round, and Shawn refused to drink hot coffee in the summer. He poured the coffee into his favorite mason jar over some ice, smelling its wonderful, unique roast. Then he added a splash of oat milk and squeezed in caramel syrup before stirring vigorously. Shawn was very proud that he had effectively found a way to enjoy his favorite coffee shop beverage without driving to one and paying six dollars.
As he put the oat milk back in the fridge, he noticed a pitcher of filtered water on the counter that wasn't there the night before. It was Kendall's electric pitcher that she always used to make hot tea. He figured his mom or dad may have used it to make their coffee since Kendall didn't live at home anymore. Part of him almost perked up at the thought of Kendall being there, but he knew that was unlikely. She would have told him she was coming home, or so he thought.
Shawn walked over to the living room to assume his Saturday morning ritual of destroying people online in his favorite fighting game with his coffee, only to be completely surprised by Kendall sitting on the couch playing. As expected, she had her tea with her. So she was here after all.
Trying not to seem overly happy to see her, Shawn deliberately suppressed his emotions and reset himself as he approached her.
"Hey," he mumbled casually, sitting beside her.
"Hey," she responded dryly, glancing at him once, trying not to break concentration.
Kendall was every bit as good as he was at fighting games. They practiced on each other for years growing up, and they were highly competitive about it. She didn't take them as seriously as Shawn did, but she could beat him when it came down to it.
Shawn couldn't help but stare at her momentarily as he sat down. It had been a while since they had seen each other. Her long, brunette hair, light brown eyes, and supple skin captivated him as she delivered hell to her opponent on the screen. The way she bit her bottom lip in total concentration drove him mad. Shawn couldn't understand why, in his mind, Kendall was so perfect. Nobody else made him feel the way she did. Something about her ignited his very cells. She was objectively attractive, but it was more than that for him. He loved the way she laughed and how kind but witty she was. Her personality was warm and genuine, and she would do anything for anyone.
Shawn knew Kendall would still be way out of his league, even if they weren't siblings. He couldn't imagine someone like her going for a dorky, average-looking guy like him. Like any other attractive woman, Kendall cared greatly about her health and appearance. She exercised regularly and took care of herself. She didn't smoke and rarely drank. Her smile was perfect, and her eyes could level someone. She was the "hot friend" in her group, and Shawn grew up watching her ignore the ocean of boys constantly pursuing her.
He admired her beauty as he watched her fight, wondering if there was some plane of existence where the sibling boundary didn't separate them, and they could have been together. But that always leads to his biggest issue.
Enter the source of Shawn's existential anxieties: constantly fantasizing about having sex with Kendall. Shawn spent more time thinking inappropriate thoughts toward his sister than he could ever freely admit to someone. He had an overwhelming taboo fetish, and Kendall lay at the heart of it. He knew how wrong it was to be this way and had spent his entire life hiding it from her the best he could. The one thing he feared more than anything else in the world was Kendall finding out how he felt toward her. It would ruin them forever, and Shawn didn't want to live in a world where Kendall wasn't his best friend.
Shawn caught himself gawking and looked away just in time as she won her fight and reached for her mug of tea.
"Working on your setup combos, I see," Shawn said as he set his coffee on the table, trying to make conversation.
"Yeah, I can't figure out the spacing on this one. So I figured I'd practice while I'm here," Kendall responded plainly, seeming uninterested in talking.
Something was off with her, and Shawn knew it. He could always tell when something was going on with Kendall. His gut wanted to ask her but felt reluctant because they had not seen each other in over a month. The last thing he wanted to do was irritate her by prying into her problems, but it bothered him that they were interacting so foreignly. He gradually built the courage to say something with each sip of coffee as he watched her steamroll people left and right. Watching the skill gap between Kendall and her opponents was also amusing to witness, and seeing her as good as ever despite living away from home the past year made Shawn slightly proud.
After several matches of near silence between them, Shawn finally excavated the courage to break the awkwardness. It was dreadfully uncomfortable to be shoulder to shoulder with her and not say a word to each other. He felt almost unwelcome by her side. This wasn't like them at all.
"Hey. Is everything okay with you?" He asked.
Kendall wouldn't even look away from the screen to answer him.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said without any thought.
That was the last straw. Shawn was all but sure now that something was going on with her, and it bothered him that she didn't want to be open with him about it.
"Huh,
okay
," Shawn said with an attitude, deliberately sounding skeptical as he took a drink.
He knew his sister. He knew she'd take the bait.
"What," she said defensively, looking right at him, "I said I'm fine! Why?"
Shawn didn't want to upset Kendall, but he knew he would at least get somewhere like this.
